Erika
by Pikablukachu
Summary: Sabrina changed as a person in the three years following the initial defeat of Team Rocket, but why? This is a story told from Sabrina's point of view about insecurities, growth, and how just one person can inspire change in someone's life. Features smaller roles from many other game-canon characters.
1. Prologue (Inspiration)

**_(Notes: This is a story about personal flaws and growth, as well as the importance of trying new things and leaving your comfort zone. It focuses on Sabrina and Erika's growth, both as individuals and together._**

 ** _That's why, even if you're not a fan of the Erika/Sabrina ship, I think fans of both characters can find something valuable here._**

 ** _I've aimed to stick close to game canon while filling in blanks and expanding on character personalities._**

 **Feedback: _If you have any suggestions for how I can improve, I'd really welcome the feedback. Of course I'm happy to hear positive feedback too! Even hearing that something in here made you smile would really make my day!_**

 ** _If you're just here to argue in the reviews section instead of actually reading my story, don't bother. I've worked hard on this and half of the reviews being people telling other people to shut up just makes me feel like no one actually wants to read it._**

 **Special Thanks: _I wanna give a shout out to my friend Kagura who helped inspire me to get back into writing again by bouncing headcanons with me! Check her out by Googling kagurasart._**

 ** _PS. You can see the most up to date version on my ao3! It's getting pretty long but the romance gets going as early as Chapter 7!)_**

* * *

 **\- One Year after Team Rocket's Initial Defeat -**

The better I am at my job and the more famous I become, the more this indescribable emptiness threatens to consume me. That's what it feels like sometimes. Is this really all my life will ever be?

This level of melodramatic pensiveness sounds ridiculous coming from me, I know. After all, I am an extraordinarily successful individual and a professional in something I excel at. I have had powerful psychic powers from a young age and became a Gym Leader while I was still a teenager. This is, statistically, incredible.

People who have met me boast about it as _if_ I am their friend. People say I am a prodigy in my field. Apparently I'm good looking. I have many traits that people would be envious of, right? Not that it matters. It shouldn't and doesn't matter. What matters is that there is nothing wrong with me. It is normal for someone busy like me to not have friends.

... Ugh.

But without even realising it, invasive insecurities always break into my thoughts lately, even when I attempt to remind myself that I'm supposed to be this great successful person.

Why do I feel so empty.

You know, people say it is rare for a child to develop such powerful psychic powers. Why do the psychic powers matter though? Being young did not stop Brock or Misty, both multiple years my junior, from becoming widely respected Gym Leaders with many friends. It didn't stop Olivine City's new Gym Leader. When I think about it that way, it makes me believe there's really nothing special about me, not in a way that really matters.

Psychic powers only feel special to other people, but to me they're mundane. All I can think about lately is what I _don't_ have. That seems immature of me but it isn't new, these thoughts first emerged while I was a child. Eventually I buried myself in my training and pushed all these uncertainties out of my mind, but maybe it was naive of me to think they were gone for good.

For most of my life I thought I would be content simply defining myself on my powers and being successful. That this was just how it is always meant to be. But... how can I 'inspire' people like some other powerful Pokémon Trainers do, when my powers are simply what is now expected of me?

I feel nothing when people look at me or ask me about my powers. I respond with a rightfully-earned confidence in my ability. That's all. They quickly move on once the novelty wears off. They never connect with me.

Maybe that's my fault.

Well, most people never connect with me, but there was that child I battled last year.  
Despite being so young, they defeated me with a graceful passion I had rarely seen before. They went on to become Kanto's Champion within mere months.

They weren't hugely talkative, but somehow just their fiery eyes and the way they communicated with their Pokémon were burnt into my mind. They connected to and inspired every person and Pokémon they met, good or bad, myself and my Pokémon included. I felt a connection with the Champion, of all people, and the double-edged sword of inspiration struck again.

Inspiration is a beautiful, frustrating thing. My meeting with that Trainer, the connection I formed with them over the brief time we knew one another, rekindled all kinds of questions and emotions in me that I had buried when I was younger. I continued to hope they would just go away if I focused on my training.

I now feel stuck in this state of emptiness though. These thoughts are meaningless nonsense that should not affect my professional life, but I cannot find inner peace despite my training and teachings. I don't want them to be there, but this empty feeling is starting to dominate my every thought. Even my dreams. It's gotten past the point of being annoying, to being a genuine inconvenience.

Since that Trainer defeated me, my once composed mind will not shut up! And it's not just because of them. Lately, everything reminds me of my other inspirations and just how empty they make me feel.

Just one example; Kanto has become a happier and more beautiful place since the new Champion defeated Team Rocket. People and Pokémon from across the world are visiting. Travel connections with Johto have become significantly more convenient. Even just staying in Saffron City, I've seen more kinds of people and Pokémon than ever before. It's inspiring, but also a little overwhelming. They make me realise how little of the world I actually know.

And just like when I was a child, my ignorance and lack of understanding has caused genuine issues. Like when I recently learnt that Eevee possessed the ability to evolve into a majestic Psychic Type called Espeon. I desperately wanted an Espeon of my own, but was too proud to ever consider asking for help.

In the end, no matter how hard I trained Eevee there were no results. Eevee remained an Eevee. One day I became so overwhelmed with frustration at my ignorance and lack of ability to evolve a Pokémon into a Psychic Type, my own _speciality,_ that the electricity in Saffron Gym short-circuited.

As in, my own overwhelmed state of mind caused me to lose control of my psychic abilities. It doesn't happen often, but it had happened before - and each of those times were among the most ashamed I had ever been of myself. The times I had truly felt like a failure as a person.

I had to close up for the day and tell all my Gym Trainers to go home. I.. I really felt truly pathetic. I vividly remember that and the other times it happened, even now. I'll probably never forget them. They make me feel wholly unworthy of the pedigree of perfection people perceive in me.

Still, after that I worked closely with engineers from Silph Co. to redesign my Gym without a necessity for electricity. Conveniently, finding ways to hide my shame and avoid the possibility of it happening again is good for the environment too I guess.

But after all that shame and humiliation, someone else who inspires me told me that I had inadvertently 'inspired' this polluted City to become more eco-friendly.

She looked so happy when she found out my Gym was updated like that, and it made me want to work with Silph to update the infrastructure of other parts of the City too.

I guess that brings me, gracelessly, to someone who was among my first inspirations as well as someone who just keeps re-entering my life, for better or worse.

There was a long period of time where I desperately avoided thinking about her altogether because of how empty she made me feel, and how utterly hopeless I am at friendship. But if I ever want to address the questions and emotions I've been pushing down for years, I'm going to need to talk about Erika.


	2. (School)

**_This to Chapter 5 were originally meant to be one long flashback Chapter but I love exposition too much._**

 ** _I read this Chapter again recently and was surprised by how well it holds up compared to the Chapters I wrote more recently._**

* * *

Erika was the only person I had ever felt remotely comfortable calling a friend. That did not mean I was confident about it... but she has been the most constant social fixture in my life for some time now.

Well... mostly. I suppose I have reasons to believe she was not my friend either.

* * *

Erika was my senpai at Trainer School, when we were younger. It was not for a very long time, but I remember it so vividly, even now.

I do not know much about the inner machinations of others, I barely understand my own thoughts. Debating my own emotional state, let alone understanding what makes other people tick, is still quite alien to me.

To put it another way, I can read people literally through my powers, but I can not read and understand what makes them that way. My powers come from calm and calculation, I was taught from a young age that factoring emotion would complicate things.

I digress. The point is that some children gathered around me like fans, while others steered clear of me like I was a monster. I am sure their parents told them things about me, or perhaps they saw me practising powers they did not understand and that I could not yet fully control.

Most people were simple and easy to read, but Erika was not. This is why I could not decide whether I hated her or not.

The first time I saw her, she radiated incandescently and the only word I could think of to describe her in my young mind was ' _beautiful_ '. She was beautiful.

I was initially so overwhelmed by the way she seemed to carry light itself within her self that all the windows in the room I was in shattered. My fault, of course.

This was understandably enough to make students and teachers wary of me. Enough to have my family alerted.

I didn't care though. My eyes were fixed on her. From that day onward, whenever she appeared before me I would have great difficulty tearing my attention away from her visage. I tried at first, but quickly gave up and allowed myself to bask in her light.

I doubt it took her long to notice, she was an extremely intelligent and observant individual, she seemed to understand the life in everything around her. She knew what made everything tick and she found every aspect of it genuinely fascinating.

I know this because of the inspiring way her eyes lit up. They gleamed about everything. The children, the flowers, the Pokémon, she longed to know them all intimately, and I was fascinated with her and the way she saw the world. She was... my first true inspiration.

I hated it. She contrasted me in every way and I could not stop thinking about it.

The things she did to me, without even touching or talking to me, let alone any psychic power of her own. I was closed off and did not speak to people often, but this power she possessed over me far outmatched anything I had ever experienced before.

Ridiculous: she once welled up with tears upon seeing the growing bud of a newly hatched baby Bulbasaur and the image of her pure emotional expression is still burnt into my mind. I remember being so distracted about her passion for life during my own training that a spoon I was intent on bending as an exercise ended up covered in teeth marks.

Uhm.. I should note they were not physical marks from my actual teeth. My psychic powers just did that to the spoon because I was so vexed. Anyway.

Like me, Erika was popular. From her natural glow, I could hardly blame them. She was always surrounded by girls. Girls who seemed to genuinely care for her well-being and who behaved as though they would defend her good image to the grave. That much has not changed to this day, actually.

This only made me feel even more strange. Despite my own apparent 'popularity', I never got the feeling that many people cared about me or felt any strong emotion for me. This is why, having my attentions for Erika seemingly returned was so unfathomable.

I had watched Erika relatively regularly since I first laid eyes on her, just because I found it hard not to. Whenever I spotted her in lunch break or at the end of the school day, my eyes were drawn.

Then after a few months, she started to watch me back.

The first few times it happened I would quickly and awkwardly avert my gaze so as not to make her think I was staring (I mean, I was). Still, before long I noticed she would watch me even when I was not watching her.

Soon, we both shared eye-contact frequently. Sometimes for extended periods of time. She did not look at me like she looked at nature or even other people. Her eyes were boundlessly curious - and she did not falter or hesitate like I sometimes did. Her glare was steeled, confident and mesmerising. I was... jealous, of her grace and composure, when remaining calm was such a vital part of my own training.

Much to my chagrin she then began to sit near me at lunch. Initially her entourage would ask her why she did this, but quickly stopped. She would do this almost every day without fail. She started out sitting opposite me with regular eye-contact - and eventually she sat on the seat right next to me.

She did not do this to anyone else, which infuriated me too.

Was she mocking me? Attempting to scare me away from looking at her? I did not know. I still do not know. There were many times I wondered if she wished to be my friend, or if this connection between us actually made us friends, but she did not treat her other friends this way.

By this point she was increasingly taking up unsolicited space in my mind as well as the physical space near me. This is part of why it bothered me so much.

Still, I admit I became comforted with this schedule of sharing eye-contact with Erika. It became something I almost looked forward to for a time.

My soul felt warmer just to be near her. The familiarity of her presence soothed me and made me feel like I had a friend. Like someone wanted to be near me.

Before anything else could happen though, it was over.

Erika and I had scarcely even exchanged words with one another beyond pleasantries such as 'hello' or 'good bye' before we went our separate ways.

Our families are.. both quite strict. Our time at Trainer School was limited and through total coincidence we were both removed to begin home schooling during the same academic year.

My focus was worsening and my family thought I had been asking too many emotionally-charged questions. Because of this and the uh.. window incident, home schooling was seen as the best path for my career.

I never did see how Erika reacted to my leaving and I don't know why this hurt. One day she was sitting next to me at lunch and the next day I was taken from her. It was the last time I saw her for years.

The next time I met Erika, she was already Celadon City's majestic Gym Leader.


	3. (Gyms)

A few years of home schooling and I had successfully buried those confusing feelings. I had not forgotten Erika, of course not, but I felt confident that the effect she'd had on me was a thing of the past.

* * *

I had become a powerful psychic thanks to my home schooling. I had discarded emotional complications and had much greater control over my state of mind. I was essentially able to make myself calm and collected at will, despite still being just a young teen.

As I became more confident in my abilities as a prodigous Psychic Type Pokémon Trainer, I surveyed Kanto and battled most of its professional Gym Leaders. I began to contemplate the best angle I could take to become a Gym Leader myself.

This is how we reconnected after such a long time.

It was not like Erika was unfindable either. Her family is known and respected. I simply did not care to actively seek her out while I focused on my training.

At least, I thought I didn't care.

I did not really struggle as I journeyed Kanto and battled the Gym Leaders myself, but my time in Celadon City was different - for reasons that should now be obvious.

Kanto's most populous city and one of its oldest: Celadon City has had a worsening pollution issue since the industrial revolution. So... I was not surprised to find out that Erika had made it her project.

I was not surprised to find that Erika had already become a Gym Leader, either.

What did surprise me was how it made me feel.

My battle against Erika was over quickly. Due to the part-Poison Typing of most Kanto-native Grass Types, her team fell easily to my powerful Psychic Pokémon. It was nearly a one-sided match.

However, by the end of the battle it felt as if I was the one who lost, while she had won.

The way she calmly and beautifully commanded her partners in battle. How each of her Pokémon glowed with the same natural radiance she had refined even more brightly in herself since I last saw her. These things made me realise that no, I never stopped caring.

When I saw her, I became suddenly aware of what felt like a massive, gaping hole in my chest.

As blood rushed to my head, I thought to myself;  
'This... emptiness... has been here since we left each others' lives?'

It had been there for all these years, quietly haunting me and I had had no idea. The realisation that it was there caused me considerable stress during our reunion, our battle, our formalities. Of course, I did not tell her how I felt. Why would I? It was completely unreasonable.

Anyway.

Erika seemed pleased to see me again. She beamed when she saw me enter her Gym. Despite being surrounded by women who adored her, she shone her sunlight directly onto my face as if I was the only thing in the world.

And I was pleased, too. But I was also genuinely inconvenienced by these feelings. And I was jealous.

I was not jealous of Brock or Misty who had taken over Gyms from their families at a very young age - but I was of Erika. Perhaps it was because I felt an emotional connection of sorts to her? Or because I saw her as a peer? An equal?

Either way, I did not want to believe any of these things at first. All I knew was that I felt awful, and Erika could fix it. Being near her made me feel like I had a chance of filling that gaping chasm inside me.

While I did survey and defeat almost every Gym in the region, in the end it seemed almost poetic to simply take the Gym in my hometown, Saffron City. With a new determination I easily crushed and overthrew Saffron's Fighting Type Gym, and established myself as the new Gym Leader. I left the shamed old Gym as a dojo and established my own modern Gym next door.

After I became firmly based in the next city over, I visited Erika again. And again. And again.

At first it was just curiosity, to confirm a suspicion about that empty feeling. I went back because I told myself I had to. Before long though, I was smiling in her presence, and she appeared to enjoy mine.

We even begun to talk. Not just formal hellos and goodbyes like at school.. we talked about our selves. Our families. What Pokémon we found interesting.

I vividly remember one early conversation we had that made her seem as if she had not changed one bit since school. She had asked me what my favourite Pokémon species was, and I quietly responded with just "Alakazam."

She nodded and smiled. Confidently keeping the conversation going, as if trying to get me to speak to her more freely, she responded;

"My own favourite is Bulbasaur... I do not have one myself yet, but the way it starts out life with a small, plain bulb which eventually sprouts into a giant, tropical flower that offers nourishment for itself and others perfectly encapsulates why I love Grass Type Pokémon. Why I love Pokémon. Why I love nature."

It sounded rehearsed and methodical. Like she was so passionate about nature that she was fully prepared to talk about its beauty at all times.

The way we discussed Pokémon highlighted how different we were. Erika would focus on the way they grew and the environments they flourished in, whereas I would eventually express my fascination in a Pokémon's intelligence and capability to grow stronger through learning.

Yes, eventually thanks largely to Erika's friendly and soothing aura I was able to match her passionate speech with my own fascination.

"Alakazam is a phenomenal creature. It always blows me away that there exists a species in which almost every member is as intelligent as Earth's most intelligent humans. Its capacity for teaching and learning is something I'm sure humanity will be studying for millennia to come."

At first I thought our passions were too different, but I found her insights incredible, and it appeared she felt similarly about how I saw the world.

My heart raced when I was near her, but I was not unhappy as I was when I first felt that hole in my heart. It was strange, but I was contented for a time. It was the closest I had ever emotionally felt to anyone besides my immediate family.

The fact that it was new to me is partially what caused it to unravel as the months went on, I imagine.

More and more frequently, I would ask Erika who the women in her Gym were, what they meant to her, if she was close to any of them. If they were 'friends' like we were. They were her Gym Trainers, of course. That was obvious to me from a logical standpoint, but her answers on the subject never eased the aches in my guts. I would find other ways to word the question, and ask again. At first it was once every few weeks, then once a week, and eventually every other day.

First it was "Erika, are these your Gym Trainers?"

Then, "Erika, are you close to the Trainers in your Gym?"

Eventually my tone was more inquisitive. "Do your Gym Trainers ever annoy you?" "Do you get along better with these women than other Gym Leaders?" "How long have you known them?" "Do you like them more than me?"

Stuff like that.

It shouldn't have mattered if they were just acquaintances, friends, close, anything, but it did. My jealousy was impacting my behaviour in a way I was finding increasingly difficult to control.

This was just part of how I ruined things between us though.

There is this old man who typically loiters outside of Celadon Gym. He peers into the Gym through the windows most days. At first I thought nothing of it, but I once asked him what he was doing and he simply mumbled "Heheh! This GYM is great! It's full of women!". He then continued to stare through the window at the women, pretending I was not there despite the hateful scowl I gave him.

I later asked Erika about him. She simply replied that while she was uncomfortable with his presence, he did not intend any harm and she would rather not inconvenience him.

I, however, was not ok with this.

Due to my jealousy of Erika's colleagues and my frustration with this creepy old man, my time with Erika was more frequently causing my stomach to churn. For a while, I pushed these feelings to the side and told myself to ignore them... but things eventually did come to a head. It felt almost inevitable.

In retrospect, I think there were warning signs. Erika's sweet demeanour cracked a few times as I incessantly asked about the women, constantly scowled at and complained about the old man, turned up unannounced more and more often while she worked and trained.

"Excuse me, Sabrina... I would like to focus on my garden and training my colleagues today."

I was causing discord in the harmony she had constructed for herself. I did not notice until it was too late though.

One morning I saw the old man at the Gym earlier than usual. Erika and her colleagues were close to the other side of the window, watering the Gym's gardens. I glared daggers at the old man - which is when I noticed he had his disgusting eyes fixated on her.

I stood still and watched him watching her. I was unhappy. I wanted to say something to him to make him stop. I wanted to say something to Erika to make her reconsider letting him stare. I wanted to hurt him? I wondered what would happen if I just left him alone. I wondered what he was thinking. What would I say to him anyway? How could I make Erika change her mind? How would I even get the old man to listen to me? Would I be able to use my powers to scare him off? Would it be awful if he slipped and fell? Could I...

As I ran scenarios over and over in my head, my eyes fixated on him, I heard gasps and screams. "Wh-what..?" quietly escaped my mouth as I snapped back to reality.

the glass window the old man was peering through had shattered and the walls surrounding it had become warped. The ground below where I stood had depressed slightly, becoming a concave bowl-like shape. It became immediately obvious that I had done this and that my attempts to collect my calm were failing me.

The old man was in shock. Erika rushed outside and immediately asked him if he was ok. She bowed her head low and apologised over and over, taking full responsibility. He did not seem particularly angry. Before long he was calmed by her expertly professional air of grace, then simply smiled and went home for the day.

Erika then stormed over to me and wore an expression I had never seen from her before. I could tell she was trying to compose herself, but she could not. Unlike the old man, it seemed I was the source of her frustrations. She took a deep breath before she spoke, and I braced myself for nature's wrath.

"If you cannot control yourself then need to leave, Sabrina. I'm supposed to be a professional and I can't have you dragging my reputation into the ground. Having a Gym regularly damaged by Pokémon battles is already difficult enough to keep on top of without this."

She tried to avoid raising her voice but I could hear her tones escalating, and I got an earful. I tried to apologise but only "I-I'm s-" quietly escaped my mouth before she continued. She did not take another breath.

"I'm not sure what justifies coming over here and stuffing your nose into every little thing I do or acting like you live here, but I hope you figure out what the hell is going on in that head of yours. Good bye."

She then turned around and walked inside. She began to instantly make calls - I assume to repair the damage I caused. I could hear from outside. She tried to behave normally, but her posture was rigid and her voice stern. Angry.

Before long, I turned around and walked home to Saffron City. After that, I did not go back to see her again.

I played the scene over and over in my head. The way she spoke to me in raised tones, the language she used, I had never heard it from her before in any situation.

I did as she asked. I left. I did not figure out what was going on in my head. I tried.. for maybe a few weeks, but I had no idea what I should do. How to fix myself.

One night, a month or so later, as the confusion swirling around my head became too overwhelming to bear, I chose to discard all of the questions and give up. I told myself we just weren't friends after all. I clutched my chest and cried myself to sleep.

After that night, I doubled down on my training.

I became a Gym Leader known for my ruthlessness, thrashing any and all challengers that came before me. I went undefeated for months. Until one day that is...


	4. (Colour)

**_The second half of this chapter was difficult to write. I wanted to include Looker for fun, though I'm not sure I did him justice._**

 ** _As for the protagonist, I intentionally left it vague so it could be either Red or Leaf (or whatever you'd like the protagonist to be called). I won't ignore Leaf like GameFreak does! They're both canon to me._**

 ** _It was difficult to do them justice too. I contemplated completely cutting out Sabrina meeting them and just skipping ahead to after the battle, and I also considered fleshing out the battle a lot more._**

 ** _I went for something in the middle. Let me know what you think!_**

* * *

I was now in my late-teens, and confidence in my battle ability was all I needed. My high intellect and battle prowess combined with my serious lack of social skills led me to become a polite, but intimidating person.

I treated my opponents with dignity and respect, but behaved as though I was above them from the moment I met them to the moment I crushed them in battle.

Despite this, I no longer got any exhilaration or joy from Pokémon battle. Whatever spark used to be there was gone, and I was simply following the path of a profession I was good at. I fulfilled my duty as Saffron City's Gym Leader to the best of my ability without any difficulty, and that was all.

My ability to peer a short ways into the future only exacerbated my confidence, as I could see the defeat of most trainers who came to challenge me before I had even met them.

But there was one extremely unusual month that changed everything. The same month that Team Rocket took control of Saffron City before being given the boot almost as suddenly as they arrived.

Perhaps the most shocking thing about the Team Rocket incident for me was that I did not see them as a long-term threat at all. I plainly foresaw that their defeat would be swiftly delivered by a Trainer I had never even heard of before. As a result, I chose not to lift a finger against the Rockets, and merely let destiny run its course.

A few days after the Team Rocket incident predictably blew over, I foresaw that a different exceedingly powerful trainer would storm Saffron Gym. Like a rampaging Primeape or something that was invulnerable to Psychic Type attacks somehow. Anyway.

He was rude, far more brash than the challengers I was used to. He barged through the front doors, smashed every Gym Trainer and dashed through the warp tiles at random until he found me.

"You really went out of your way to make your Gym a pain in the butt to navigate huh? You're way too pretentious!" he tutted at me. What an arrogant attitude. "Luckily for you I'm still in the mood for a battle!"

I crossed my arms and tapped my elbow with my finger irritably. I grimaced a little but attempted to keep my calm. I was slightly taken aback though, as I could not foresee the outcome of the battle.

"You talk big, but I have known for a while that you would come. My Psychic powers have been strictly trained since childhood. Since you desire it, I will show you the powers that saw me become Saffron City's Gym Leader!"

Hah... 'you talk big'? I regretted saying that from the moment the battle began. His Pokémon matched his aggressive energy beat for beat. In terms of raw strength, they were unlike anything I had battled in quite some time.

The battle ended with the boy as the victor. I felt shamed by my defeat to such a brat, but did not show it of course.

"That's all? Looks like it's Badge time then!" Evidently he wasn't in the mood to stand around and chat. What a relief. I quietly picked out a Marsh Badge and handed to him. He romped up to me snatched it out of my hand.

"Come oon you can be faster than that, I've got places to be! Champions to become! Smell ya later granny!"

...Granny? Wh-what..!?

With that, he was gone.

I stood still and took a deep breath out. I shook my head and brushed my hair straight again, carefully using my telekinesis to pull apart the knots and flatten it down. How irritating. Why did he call me granny?

I'd barely begun to collect myself when the phone rang. I literally jumped in the spot and sighed very loudly, causing my Alakazam to raise his eyebrows at me.

"Yes, I'm ok. Just surprised."

It's not often at all that my phone rings. Actually.. barely ever. I was so overwhelmed by that Trainer's brute force that I had not foreseen the call either. I picked up and was met with my third surprise of the day.

"Sabrina, good day to you!"

Erika!? Oh for the love of Ar-  
She beamed over the video phone. She shone brightly, but speaking to her like this wasn't warm like it was talking to her in person. I composed myself before speaking.

"Erika, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"It is nothing serious, I just wanted to notify you that an excitingly impressive Trainer will be headed your way very soon." she replied, still with that annoyingly captivating smile on her face.

Yes, this was the first time I had spoken to her since all that happened. It had been at least a couple of years since we'd so much as acknowledged each others' existence. I was hardly inspired by the Trainer who just swaggered in and out of here, so why now, out of the blue?

"If you mean Blue, he just left." I scoffed, the taste of defeat still bitter on my tongue.

Erika stared quietly for a second and tilted her head. 'Ugh, she's cute..' I thought to myself. I felt my passionless heart thaw slightly. She then looked like she'd realised something and waved her hand from side to side in front of her face.

"Noo no no, Professor Oak's grandson? I almost forgot about him. No not him. You'll see!" she seemed excited.

"Uhhm.. okay..." I didn't really have anything to say. I was still confused that she had called me for this. I opened my mouth again to say something, but nothing came out. I was honestly still lost for words that she had suddenly reappeared after all this time. Again.

"After they pay you a visit, we should catch up. See you soon!"

And just like that, she hung up.

Aargh!

I waddled over to the couch and plopped myself on it. Aggh! I stared at the ceiling. I ran my hands through my hair and then left them over my eyes. Arceus! I grumbled and mumbled out loud and clutched my hand to my freshly aching chest.

I could physically feel my heart pumping, it reverberated emptily in that chasm Erika excavated and left there years ago. I tried to calm my breathing and just lay there for a while.

Eventually, I rose and the blood rushed back to my mind, I caught Alakazam staring at me again. He was evidently concerned. I smiled slightly and got up off the couch.

"I see you're still far more emotionally mature than I am, huh?" I huffed a small laugh. Alakazam frowned. He could tell that what I said was simply an attempt to laugh off my issues. I knew immediately what he felt, not just because we were telepathic, but because it was the truth. I bit my lip.

Then I bit it a little harder. "A-agh!" I exclaimed out loud, surprised by a vision of the near future that flashed into my mind. I saw a Trainer with a shining figure making their way to the Gym. Was this who Erika meant?

My heart started to pump again and I immediately headed towards the battle room to await them. I subconsciously chewed my bleeding lip.

Then, just a few moments later... a knock on the front doors of the Gym. What? This day was just way too abnormal.

... 'A knock?' I thought. Very peculiar. Trainers typically just let themselves in to begin a Gym Challenge. The knocks did not stop. I stared at Alakazam, puzzled. He stared right back and lightly shrugged.

I let out an irritated sigh and made my way to the Gym entrance. I expected to have to explain how Gyms worked to a naive Trainer, but...

When I opened the door, it was not a Trainer at all, but a detective.  
I stared at him and blinked. He seemed like quite a plain and unassuming man, and amidst all the other surprises today I had not sensed his presence even slightly.

"Greetings Gym Leader Psychic Sabrina! I am the Detective known by the code-name Looker!" he enthusiastically but professionally pulled a badge from his large dark trenchcoat and showed it to me. "I am with the International Police and am hunting down the Team Rocket's cruel mastermind. I must earnestly ask for your assistance at this time."

Oh.. the Rockets. I suppose it was only natural the police would turn up asking about them at some point. Those villains had the whole of Saffron City on lock-down mere days ago after all.

Either way, I had never seen this man before, nor did I know the International Police currently had infantry in Kanto. His badge appeared to check out, but I was initially quite taken aback by how strong his accent was. European perhaps? Anyway.

"I would be happy to cooperate with you detective, but I fear my insight may not be all that informative. I foresaw that a child would easily chase the Rockets out of the city, and so was confident that further action was not needed."

"That Trainer of Pallet Town? Hmm yes. Very interesting. Always seeming to be one step ahead of the police that child." he did not seem to take issue with my testimony at all. I suppose it's likely he has met other powerful Psychic Type trainers.

"And you have met with this Trainer?"  
"No, they have not challenged me yet. But they will."

I meant to imply that the Trainer would arrive soon. But Looker then abruptly asked me just one more question. "Before I depart, are you able to discern the identity of Team Rocket's leader with your ability?"

I gave it a moment of thought, but my practical application of Psychic ability was still relatively limited. I gently shook my head "Apologies detective, all I can tell you is that he is a man of esteemed reputation."

Looker continued to wear a serious expression, jotted down some notes quickly and gave a small bow. "Your help has been appreciated to the utmost degree. Come, Growlithe." he casually called on his Pokémon companion to follow, then they turned and darted away.

"Wait!" I tried to call out to him, but he was already gone. The Trainer is literally moments away, did he not want to interview them too? What a strange man.

I made my way back to the battle room of the Gym.  
No sooner had I gotten there, They arrived.

The Trainer who appeared before me didn't appear to be anything special. At first. I foresaw myself defeating them easily enough.

They introduced themselves with a quiet confidence, and did not have much else to say. It made my own introduction look theatrical by comparison.

"I had a vision of your arrival! I have had psychic powers since I was a child. It started when a spoon I carelessly tossed, bent. I dislike battling, but if you wish, I will show you my powers!"

...

The Trainer appeared ordinary, but the way they instructed their Pokémon seemed like second nature to them. In retrospect it was actually quite a close battle, but it did not feel like it.

When I handed over the Marsh Badge, I told them my loss shocked me. And it did. I foresaw myself defeating them after all.

When they sent out their final Pokémon against my Alakazam, I thought 'It's just a Pikachu.'

Now I feel like a fool. When I remember how they interacted with their Pokémon as if they were like siblings or close friends, I realise that I never stood a chance.

But I was not unhappy. This felt different. Things looked different in this unexpected outcome of the future, as if I had been introduced to a new way of looking at the world.

Still, there was one more thing about that day that really bugged me.

Something I still haven't told anyone else about.

When I stared that Trainer in the eyes, an unfamiliar future briefly flashed through my mind. It wasn't just a day or a week ahead.. it felt like it was much farther ahead than I had ever seen before.

I couldn't tell if it was even the same world as this. My Gym looked different. I looked different. The Trainer stood before me looked different.

But they had that same glint in their eyes.

...

After I closed up the Gym for the day, I went to visit Erika in Celadon City as she suggested. I did not deliberate the decision, I just went.

I knocked quietly, suddenly feeling like my Gym Leader bravado had left me.

When she opened the door for me, I almost had to squint to shield my eyes from her brightness. I struggled to look directly at her and constantly averted my gaze from hers', ashamed.

But she looked directly on me, shining her sunlight on me like she used to do.

"Come in! We have so much to talk about." she said gleefully. She seemed excited and brushed her hand to my shoulder as I walked through the door. I stared at the ground and flushed red, but I smiled slightly too.

Just like that, she was in my life once again.


	5. (Friend)

**-PRESENT TIME-**

A lot has changed in the past year, at least from the life I was used to.  
It felt impossible to really go back to how things were before.

My brief encounter with the Champion simply changed too much about how I saw the world. It sounds dramatic, but they connected with me in a way I was not used to, and they connected with their Pokémon similarly. They connected with everyone they met.

And when I learnt that so much power and passion could come from things like connections, I began to feel like there was so much I did not know about the world - or my own power. My own power that I was taught from childhood was better off without emotional interference.

I began to feel jealous towards the Champion, who was such an awe-inspiring person compared to me. I began to feel empty. I began to overthink everything, which is what caused me to become so mentally overwhelmed by my failure to evolve Eevee into an Espeon.

Speaking of my latest Psychic outburst, I was now meeting with Erika relatively regularly again, just not almost every day like when we were in our mid-teens. Sometimes I would invite her, sometimes she would invite me.

She was more open than she used to be but was still the picture of grace and serenity she's always been. She had also gotten really tall. She must be almost 6 foot now? She was not a lonely person, and yet chose to spend time with me regardless. I was grateful for this, but it often caused me anxiety.

It felt like something of a mutually beneficial companionship, and a schedule I had become relatively comfortable with. I would confide simple things in her, like how work was going, what kinds of Pokémon I was training, and she would confide similar things with me.

I told her about how my frustration over Eevee caused my Gym to short-circuit.. because it was difficult to avoid the subject of my Gym's renovation. I was anxious she would be scared away or angry again, like the time I became overwhelmed outside her Gym.

But when I told her that my Gym would be rebuilt to be more eco-friendly to avoid further short-circuiting, she stared at me, her eyes sparkling. She had this ridiculous grin on her face, as if I was incredible. She did not seem disturbed that I lost control of my powers again.

She responded by passionately expressing her own frustrations to me, about Celadon City's pollution problem. While she was making more green-spaces in the west of the City, the east still needed a lot of work. There was one pond that had become even more polluted since last year.

She ranted about this with no filter. She had so, so much to say. Quite different from the highly serene Erika I was used to. I listened to everything she said, intently.

My Gym upgrade being good for the environment was honestly a coincidence, but seeing how much it meant to her made me want to do more. She MADE me care. I used my influence to urge others in Saffron City to do more for the environment, and I plan to partner with Silph to rebuild some parts of the city to be more eco-friendly.

Again, she was overjoyed to hear what I was doing.

The next time we saw one another, she rushed up to me and embraced me in gratitude. It was not for long, but it was the first time anything like that had happened. My heart raced, but when she pulled back and the moment ended I was immediately filled with familiar uncertainty once more.

See, this has been the happiest year of my life so far, but I had never felt more miserable. After the last time Erika left my life, I've been constantly scared it could happen again. I did not want to trust her, but every time she was warm to me my heart became more and more invested and comfortable in her presence.

It wasn't just Erika, though. My encounter with the Champion made me long for answers to many frustrating questions.. what makes a truly strong Pokémon Trainer? What is friendship? Love?

I was practically a young adult now, but knew so little and nothing I did seemed to help. I was scared that I would never learn and would never grow, I would just be this. Emotionless. Empty. Husk. Forever.

But I don't want to be like this! I hate this emptiness!

So eventually I decided, it would be better to say something about it rather than let myself be like this forever. It would be better to face the possible upset of my delicate schedule than never find answers.

I decided I would open up about it to the only person I was more than 'acquaintances' with, next time we spent time together.

It was just a few weeks after the Gym refurbishing incident, and things in my personal life were beginning to calm down again. As the bustle of fixing things up faded, the insecurities began to creep back in to my unoccupied mind.

'Tonight, then'. I thought.

Erika and I typically met in Celadon City. It was not inconvenient for me and she often seemed hesitant to leave and visit me in Saffron. That evening, we planned to meet on the rooftop of Celadon Department Store as usual. She walked to the seat across the table from me and began to chat, calmly and cheerfully.

"Sabrina, I'm fairly certain like I spotted a Hoothoot down near the fountain earlie-!"

She was just about to tell me about how the greening in West Celadon was going, but the moment she sat down I interrupted and blurted assertively; "I need your help."

She blinked and looked a little surprised at my out of character assertiveness, and gently replied "Go on?"

That was it. The invitation I must have been waiting for. Before my mind could even settle and think about what I had to say, words began erupting from me like a Magmar.

"... All this time, for years, I thought I was supposed to be okay how I was. I thought this was what my life as a Gym Leader was supposed to be like. I thought I was supposed to be strong, cool calm and collected. But when I see people like the Champion, people like you, I think what if I'm only those things because I'm empty inside? I'm nothing like everyone else. I don't shine. I don't blaze. I j-just _exist_..

What if I'm incompatible with emotion? How can I ever be half the Trainer that the Champion is, half the _person_ they are, if I cannot truly understand people or Pokémon? I can read peoples minds but what good does it do when I cannot even understand myself!? I lay awake at night, asking myself what's wrong with me? How can I fix my broken mind? Was I wrong all these years to think emotion was a detriment to my abilities? How could I become a more emotional person even if I wanted to be? Was e-everything I was taught as a child just _wrong?_ "

My voice was steady at first, but I began to speak faster and in more elevated tones as the questions cascading around my mind burst out of my mouth in a wave.

"S-sometimes I become scared that I know and understand so little.. that I will just die alone and friendless without ever learning what friendship and love even are. Without ever identifying those experiences or knowing how they informed who I am. Without figuring out what to call this horrible persistent ache in my guts or the ch-chasm in my chest that makes me feel like I need to gasp for air. But I am so tired of the non-stop questions plaguing my once-calm mind! I'm so tired of feeling like this is all my life can ever be! I _want_ to understand! I d-don't want to be this.. this.. empty feeling, emotionless, _husk_ of a person anymore!"

...

It was a truly messy stream of comments that reflected the turbulent chaos of my mind. My mouth stayed open, ready to say more, but my mind fell quiet, and nothing came. Nothing but a tired, dejected-sounding croak.

My throat hurt.

After staring, wide-eyed, for a few moments, Erika giggled and sighed. I felt so ashamed that I felt the blood rush to my head and my hair felt like it was standing on end. I tried to look away from her, but she put her hands on mine and stared at me dotingly, as if I were a dear family member and she was _so_ proud of me.

"Sabrina sweetie, can you truly call yourself an 'emotionless husk' with your eyes filled with tears like that?"

I wiped my face with my sleeve. "O-Oh." I managed to squeak. Without realising, talking about this out loud to Erika was making me cry. The tears sat idly under my eyes at first, but after Erika pointed out I felt them running down my cheeks.

She clapped her hands together. "I'm relieved!"  
I stared at her, puzzled. My head hurt.

"I'm really sorry Sabrina, I've been egging you on all this time, trying to understand if you wanted us to become closer or if you genuinely preferred solitude." she looked a little sad "But I would be really happy to help you if you want it.. and I'm happy you asked me."

I grinded my teeth slightly as I thought she was pitying me.  
"I wish you had said something." I said quietly. And I suppose, kind of grumpily.

She apologised again and clasped my hands a little tighter. "I know that now, I really am sorry." I nodded and gave her a slight smile to show her I understood. I didn't feel like saying anything.

I was generally just relieved though. It kind of felt like there was a little *pop* in my head, and the previously high-pressure began to ease its way out.

Erika stood up and walked next to me. She said "look at me, look at my eyes." I struggled, but I did as she said. She put both her hands on my shoulders and stared at me with this fiery look of determination.

"Lesson number one.. you need to leave your comfort zone more often.  
I want you to close your Gym tomorrow morning and meet my friend and I near the Celadon Fountain, for tea."

"Understand?" she ordered assertively. I stared wide-eyed back at her, my tears drying, and nodded slightly meekly. "Y-yes!" I finally responded.

Erika beamed at me with an almost v-shaped mouth and clapped her hands together. "Right then! I'll see you tomorrow sweetie. Bright and early!"

She turned around and headed towards the elevator, but before she went in she turned back to me once more.

"By the way, Sabrina. I have always considered you a friend. Always. I hope you'll consider me a friend too."

She left me alone on Celadon City's dark, moonlit rooftop, de-fumigating all this steam from my bright red face. Catching my breath. Drying my cheeks. Before long, I made my way home and enjoyed my heaviest sleep in months.


	6. (Tea)

**Notes:** _ **Writing Jasmine and Amphy was tons of fun, I had a lot of fun writing this in general. I hope I did Jasmine justice!**_

 _ **This scene was actually largely inspired by a friend who suggested I have a scene with Trainers at a café with their Pokémon, and it fit really well with what I was trying to do with Sabrina!**_

* * *

The next morning, I woke and rubbed the sand from my eyes. They still felt heavy from my crying the night before. The rest of my body felt light though, including my head which had been thumping angrily at me less than a day ago.

I promptly washed my face and prepared to leave the Gym. I grimaced briefly at the unprofessional idea of leaving my Gym closed for the morning, but I didn't even need to weigh my options. Of course I wanted to see my friend.

It was about.. 9am? By the time I arrived in Celadon. I was actually a little anxious that I was late, but I had slept so heavily last night and didn't even think to set an alarm to make the early trip to the next City.

I hadn't actually been to Celadon Fountain much before. Erika's pet project, the one she was by far the most proud of, completed a major upgrade mere weeks ago. It was a serene public space in front of the busy Department Store.

I didn't understand nature like she did, but even I felt like I could appreciate how it negated the intense metropolitan vibe of the huge emporium.

So normally I would feel relatively relaxed coming here, but I spotted Erika sitting at a table, opposite another girl. They were chatting away happily while sipping tea. I felt my guts churning slightly. Uggh! Last night Erika told me a friend of hers' would be there too, didn't she? I was so distracted by my own loud emotions that it had completely gone in one ear and out the other.

She was quite small, must have been around the Champion's age or perhaps slightly older, and was sat next to a large yellow Pokémon I had not seen before.

My pace slowed and my enthusiasm waned. I felt the urge to just turn back home. I don't know. Was it anxiety or jealousy? Before long though, Erika spotted me and her expression notably brightened. I mean, I physically noticed a change in her face when she saw me. Was I imagining things?

She gave me a gentle, warm smile as she waved at me and beckoned me over. I relaxed slightly, feeling my confidence return, and walked towards them.

Despite the sun beating down this morning, Erika was dressed in her full kimono as always. She fanned herself gently with an ornate foldable fan. Needless to say, she was a picture of radiant grace, as always. I felt flustered that someone like her afforded me attention like this.

As I got close, Erika called out to me.  
"I'm so happy you decided to join us, Sabrina! Please grab a chair and sit!"

I felt like throwing out a snarky response, like 'of course I came, you invited me?' but bit my tongue. For all she knew, I might have preferred to open the Gym today like usual instead of taking her up.

I pouted slightly, as all three chairs at the table were taken. So I shuffled over to an empty neighbouring table and took one of the spare chairs. I placed it next to Erika's. But not too close. Erika carefully placed some tea in front of me - it was still piping hot.

After I sat, I looked at Erika next to me. I could not see her mouth from behind her fan, but due to the mischievous shape of her eyes I could tell she was grinning. She shuffled her chair closer to mine, close enough for our arms to occasionally brush. She smelt nice, and her aura was soothing to be in.

With her free hand, she grabbed mine and put it on the table, encouraging me to look the other girl in the eyes. I mean, it worked, but I wish she hadn't done it in a way that made my face feel so hot.

"Sabrina, this is Jasmine, Olivine City's Gym Leader. Jasmine, this is Sabrina, Saffron's Gym Leader!"

I convinced myself to look at Jasmine. She really was young, and she wore a simple white beach dress. Her hair was long and fair, with pigtails she had pinned upwards. While it might look childish on anyone else, she pulled it off in a way that somehow made her look mature for her age. I met her light-hazel eyes just as she introduced herself.

"Um... G-good to meet you, S-Sabrina.. Miss Erika has told me so much.."

Rather than talk about herself more, she seemed eager to introduce her companion. She awkwardly gestured to the large yellow Pokémon sat beside her.

"This is Amphy... an Ampharos who is a very close friend of mine. I decided to bring Amphy to see Erika and Celadon Fountain today, t-to perk our spirits."

The Ampharos headbutted Jasmine affectionately. I found it interesting that she kept the Pokémon outside its Pokéball - it reminded me of the Champion. I also noted that when Jasmine began to talk about 'Amphy', her stuttering eased and she became more relaxed.

"Hello to you too, Gym Leader Jasmine. It is a pleasure to finally make your formal acqu-"

Erika elbowed my stomach lightly and I reacted with a quiet "a-ah..!"  
She peered at me from over her hand fan, almost disapprovingly. "Relax, Sabrina." she whispered "No need for formalities here, we're all friends."

F-friends? Just like that? No, it's not that simple!

Jasmine could probably hear her, as she smiled at me mischievously. I smiled back and sighed. "It's good to finally meet you, Jasmine. Is Ampharos, uh.. Amphy, a Steel-Type Pokémon?"

I had heard that Jasmine was a Gym Leader specialising in the Steel-Type, a Type that was previously thought to be uncommon in Kanto. Ampharos looked more like an Electric-Type Pokémon however.

Jasmine shook her head. "No, no. Amphy is an Electric-Type Pokémon as you may have guessed." she scritched Amphy's long neck.

"Amphy is not actually a battle partner, but is the very important light source of Olivine Lighthouse. Amphy gets cabin fever sometimes though, so in daylight I like to bring them out for some fresh air."

She initially appeared to be extremely shy, but Jasmine became notably more at ease when talking about Amphy, almost like a different person. The pair both took a sip from their tea in sync and then grinned at each other like old friends. She was so young but appeared to have a strong understanding with the Pokémon, and it admittedly made me smile.

"The tea is wonderful as always, Miss Erika!" Amphy nodded enthusiastically.  
"Please, just Erika is fine, seriously!"

Huh, I guess Amphy likes tea. I thought to myself 'I wonder if they're drinking... Jasmine tea. That would be pretty funny.' I giggled but ultimately kept that thought to myself, not wanting to sound weird.

I glanced to Erika after I laughed and spotted her eyes looking back at me, though she still covered her mouth with her fan. It looked like she smiled, I think she was proud of me but I still wasn't feeling too talkative.

We sat in silence and sipped tea for a few minutes. It was peaceful, but I did not know what to say and it seemed like Jasmine, too, had fallen shy again.

As if reading the mood perfectly, Erika piped up; "Say, Sabrina. Why not ask Jasmine if she has any advice about your Eevee?"

She really put me on the spot. If it was Erika's intention to force me to talk about things I typically would prefer not to, it was working. Not wanting to be embarrassed by saying 'no', I swallowed my pride and explained to Jasmine that I could not get Eevee to evolve into an Espeon.

Jasmine leant her elbows on the table and rested her chin on her hands. "Hmm.." she then lifted her head and took another sip of tea "Um.. In Johto, some Pokémon species were allegedly discovered through being treated differently to the way a Trainer typically raises them."

I nodded, indicating I wanted her to go on.

"F-for example, a Kantonian Poliwhirl would normally evolve into a Poliwrath after being exposed to a Water Stone, correct? But certain rare rock formations found in Johto can help it to evolve into a Pokémon called Politoed, instead. Some Trainers have told me that Pokémon that had a lot of fun experiences seemed to evolved in different ways too, b-but research into this is still quite early.."

I stared slightly wide-eyed. I knew that there were many ways of evolving Pokémon in Kanto, but I had not fully considered that the environment of a region could influence even a Kanto species to evolve differently.

"So, you think Eevee may evolve into Espeon or Umbreon differently to its peers?"

Jasmine nodded "Y-yes.. we have some Evolutionary Stones in Johto that are uncommon in Kanto, such as the Dusk and Shiny Stones. Eevee does not react to any of them, and yet I have met Trainers with Espeon, and Umbreon, and uh.. e-even some other Eevee-related Pokémon that I am less familiar with."

Incredible. While I was more commonly seeing Pokémon I was unfamiliar with in Kanto, it appeared that Eevee possessed even more evolutionary potential than I expected. I looked at Jasmine in amazement, "I under-estimated you, there is still so much about Pokémon I do not know." she blushed and avoided my eyes.

"I-it's really nothing! Um.. th-this sort of thing is just more common in Johto, but when I first visited Kanto I was surprised to see Pokémon like Pikachu in the wild! A-and Erika's Vileplume, the Pokémon Bellossom is comparatively more common in Johto!"

Jasmine took a deep breath in and Amphy appeared amused. I could tell she was slightly flustered by my compliment and was attempting to sound modest, but I did not mind. I chuckled.

She was easy to get along with, and I found myself growing fond of her.  
Maybe Erika was right when she said we could be friends?

The whole while, Erika was nodding calmly. She looked relieved, and pleased.

"The Celadon Fountain truly is pleasant at this time in the morning, is it not? It's calm, the air is fresh and the area is relatively empty." I had a quick look around - she was right. The grass and flowers were shimmering in the sunlight, but the City's hustle and bustle was closer to the store than the Fountain space.

Erika continued "Most people are at work, school, or shopping at this time of day, and most of the activity in this area around now is the occasional cyclist or Trainer passing through Route 16."

She stood up and looked around, holding out her arms and taking a deep breath. The way her eyes glimmered as she took the area in made her look elated. She really was truly proud of this place.

I found myself staring at her calm, proud expression. Just seeing her like this was enough to make my soul feel at ease, too.

Jasmine piped up "Um.. Miss Sabrina, you should consider bringing your Pokémon to enjoy the air here some time. I'm certain it would be good for them."

In response I just nodded. Seeing Amphy sitting alongside Jasmine, drinking tea with us, made me wonder why I did not spend more time with my Pokémon like this. I cared for them, but they were more than colleagues, weren't they?

For a while, we quietly enjoyed the peace and the warm sun. It didn't feel like too long a period, but it was already almost midday when Jasmine finally decided to make a move. She hopped up off her chair and stretched, and Amphy imitated her.

"W-well, I should be heading back to Olivine for the afternoon." she bowed her head gently. "Umm.. Thank you both for your time today, it was most pleasant!" she smiled sweetly at both of us.

I smiled back and Erika playfully waved her fan. "We must do this again soon dear, so long as the train trip is not too inconvenient!" Jasmine nodded in agreement, gave Amphy a pat on the back, and the two made their way to Saffron City's train station.

Jasmine's departure made me conscious of the time. "Almost midday.." I said aloud "I should probably be getting back, too." I was, after all, still not totally okay with closing the Gym on a work day.

I turned towards Erika to say goodbye, but she had snuck right up to me, fan held mischievously in front of her mouth again. She eyed me up and down "Far too stiff.. hmm.. nope." she grabbed my hand and began to tug me in the direction of her Gym instead.

"H-hey!" I objected, but she just chimed back "You still have a lot more relaxing to do; come along~!"


	7. (A Brief Peace)

_**Poor Sabrina just can't keep that peace of mind huh? That's why I came up with the title for this Chapter. Sabrina finally enjoys a few months of feeling happy and content with life before other annoying feelings shatter that. Darn.**_

 _ **This fluff was so wonderful to write and I had a lot of fun writing Brock and Misty too. I might try to do that again sometime.**_

* * *

As Erika had left the Gym closed today too, it was empty and quiet. As she unlocked the door to let us in, I tried to object again. "L-look Erika, I really don't think I should leave Saffron Gym closed for such a long time on a work day."

Erika scoffed "Nonsense! Viridian Gym was closed for months!" she grabbed my hand again and tugged me inside, so I followed, red in the face and pouting.

"I really don't think that's a fair comparison!" I argued weakly in defeat. I really did want to be here with her and my stomach was doing cartwheels in joy that she seemed to be actively wanting to spend more time with me too.

"Look, sit here and relax okay? I'm going to bring out some rice balls and then do some gardening. We can chat, or you can just watch!" she sat me down on the grass insistently, next to the spot she usually awaits Gym challengers.

I sighed and pouted again "W-why..?" and she responded by confidently fanning herself with that captivating mischievous twinkle in her eyes again. She was doing that a lot today.

"Because..? I promised I would help you. Lesson number one, leave your comfort zone more often, remember?" I avoided eye contact with her for a moment to think about what she said.

"You are the boss of your own life. It is professional to open the Gym as much as possible, but not a contractual obligation.  
I won't even force you to stay here! But if you want my advice as your friend, I think you should spend most of the day with me."

I responded with silence at first. My brain told me I should argue, but she was right. I sighed and tried to make myself relax, as Erika brought out a few rice balls. "Thank you."

We sat closely together on the grass and ate a rice ball each. Delicious. I cheered up pretty quickly now that I was here.  
"Mm, speaking of Viridian Gym" I thought aloud "Did it ever get a new Gym Leader?"

Erika shrugged before responding "It doesn't seem like it.. people come and go. A lot of prospective Trainers are put off by that place. I cannot say I blame them.  
Still, I did hear that a lot of younger more hot-headed Trainers are interested in that Gym."

I swallowed the rest of a rice ball "Erika, how do you find out all this stuff?"

She responded frankly "Because I talk to a lot of people, Sabrina."

Fair enough.

The lights in the Gym were off, with some ribbons of light streaming in through the windows from outside. The air was quite cool, but not cold. Besides, just being near Erika was pleasantly warm, as always.  
It was so quiet. We just sat together in silence, contented.

For once, I decided to speak my mind.  
"Nothing helps me relax quite like you do, Erika."

Erika said nothing in response. She giggled and ruffled my hair. Probably with affection, but it was still annoying. I really liked my hair to stay neat. After that she got up. "I'm just going to water the plants in the Gym. Again, please make yourself at home sweetie."

We smiled gently at one another and she went about her business. I stretched out slightly. I tried, at great pains, to make myself at home as suggested. I found that was much easier when I just watched her gardening.

It was hard to believe that just yesterday, I was too scared to even consider Erika a friend. Now here I was, being scolded for working too hard and then sharing quiet moments and smiles with the person I'd focused my attentions on for so long.

Was this it? Were all my years of frustration and uncertainty about Erika's place in my life going to be solved just like that? What caused that to change so suddenly? What caused Erika to welcome me back so quickly? I rolled onto my side and inconspicuously clutched my chest. I still felt that anxiety somewhere inside me. Friendship isn't that simple, I guess.

I sat up and watched Erika gardening again and distracted myself from the lingering feeling of anxiety. The way the sunlight filtered through the small windows and landed on her jet-black hair was captivating. I felt like I could see every individual strand, bouncing carefreely with every step she took.

She hummed quietly as she attended to her garden. I supposed it was not strange she would find little schedules and habits like that to make the job more rhythmical. Or maybe I was overthinking it.

Arceus. She was.. beautiful, though. She really was a breathtaking individual to me. I felt myself thinking how lucky I was to have met her all those years ago, for her to have been the one to allow me into her life. I truly hoped in that moment that we could stay together and just... have more days like this.

I continued to watch her quietly as she bent down to carefully tend to the soil. It was.. around this point, that I caught my eyes transfixed on her.. rear. I mean, it was just interesting to see because she usually wears a full kimono and.. actually, the way the kimono hugged her backside like that.. I don't think I'm necessarily a good judge, but her behind was actually really nice? She was just really.. aesthetically pleasing, in a lot of ways.

The moment I became conscious that these thoughts were actually running through my mind, I felt the blood rushing to my head and I began to chew my lip and I became extremely pre-occupied with asking myself 'why am I looking at her butt in the first place' 'how do I stop myself from thinking about it?' 'I should just not look at it' 'If Erika ever found a lover they would be really lucky actually just saying' 'Maybe if I make myself think about something else. like an egg' "Uhhh.." I ended up saying out loud.

"Hm?" Erika must have heard me "By the way Sabrina, what do you think of Jasmine?" she asked, as if it had been on her mind.

"I, uhh.." hang on, what did she ask? about Jasmine? "Jasmine?"  
I was still bright red and my eyes felt like they had lost focus slightly, but I made myself look at Erika's head instead of.. elsewhere.

"Jasmine is.. a wonderful girl." I thought fondly of Jasmine now, despite having only met her hours ago and initially thinking the encounter would cause me jealousy or anxiety. "Delightful and deceptively intelligent, I feel genuinely glad to have spent time with her."

"Do you think you could see her as a friend?"  
I nodded with a smile. I mean, I suppose? I liked her, but the way I felt about Erika and Jasmine was completely different. That makes sense though, right? I had known Erika for years.

...

We spent a few more hours together doing nothing in particular, until Erika deemed me, in her own words, 'sufficiently relaxed', and granted me leave.

As she began to open up the Gym for the afternoon and I made my way out, I turned to her and clasped her hands in mine. She seemed almost surprised by my out of character display of physical contact, but smiled sweetly.

"Thank you for today. I mean it." I said. I struggled to maintain eye-contact with her, but this kind of earnest emotional gratitude was still kind of new to me. "I feel nice, so.. even if it's frowned upon to close a Gym on a weekday, I hope we can do this again sometime."

"Then, let's make it a weekly thing!" Erika replied happily, without hesitation. I was much more hesitant. "U-uhh.. maybe not every week. Maybe every two weeks?"

She pouted. "Fine, but I bet you get bored. I'm just a phone call away, okay?" she gave my hands a little rub "I'm here for you, Sabrina. Oh.. and next time, bring Eevee and Alakazam along!"

So I did.

The next time we all met for tea in Celadon, I brought Eevee and Alakazam and let them out of their Pokéballs. Erika would let Vileplume out. Jasmine would let Magnemite out. We all shared tea and snacks together like friends and I.. really enjoyed it.

I was surprised by how entertaining and fulfilling it was to spend time with Pokémon leisurely. Alakazam knew me so well by now and I think he was really proud of me for making more of an effort. Alakazam was not just a battle partner, or colleague.. Alakazam was like another friend to me. And I felt like such a fool for not realising it sooner.

Eevee was quite shy and timid at first.. he actually reminded me of me slightly. But he responded well to affection - he loved to be pet and fed treats, and before long him and Alakazam got on quite well too. I told Alakazam that he made a good babysitter for Eevee and he responded 'Eevee isn't a child, Sabrina'.

My bad!

Okay, so at first I stood my ground. At first we did this every other week. It was really a little sporadic to begin with.

Sometimes plans would clash or we'd meet in the afternoon instead of the morning. Sometimes Jasmine was not able to come. Actually, Jasmine was not able to bring Amphy along often, due to Amphy's important job at Olivine Lighthouse, but it was always a pleasure to see them.

So before long we established some regularity. We'd close our Gyms and meet on Wednesday mornings every fortnight.

And yeah, eventually I started wanting to do it every week like Erika originally suggested. "I told you!" she teased, her fan in front of her mouth mischievously as she loved to do lately.

It really did help to break up the weeks though. It gave me something to look forward to and helped give me the energy to remain enthusiastic until the working week was over.

Sometimes I would meet someone new, like one of Erika's Gym Trainers or another Gym Leader. For example, Jasmine once brought Whitney along, the Normal-Type Gym Leader from Goldenrod City in Johto. She was a cute girl, a year or two older than Jasmine, but admittedly she was kind of intense. It really put Jasmine's own maturity for her age into perspective.

We occasionally met with Janine too, Gym Leader Koga's daughter. Erika was already quite well acquainted with her and they had met for tea in the past. Janine was a few years older than Erika and spent half her time looking up to her father, and the other half of the time ranting about how she wished to surpass him someday.

Ninjas operate in the shadows, but Janine actually felt trapped in her father's shadow. I haven't yet decided if this is poetic or cheesy. ...Anyway.

These tea social events were also how I became re-acquainted with Brock and Misty, who would both spend time in Celadon occasionally. They seemed to be friends, but they weren't always together.

They initially still found me intimidating... which I resented. But I think my resentment proved I was actually changing, and I think they could tell.

"So Erika, did you hear the latest on Viridian City Gym?"  
"Ooh I don't think so! Do tell!"  
"Wait a minute, Brock, you got some juicy intel and didn't tell me yet!?"  
Brock held his hands in front of himself defensively "Give me a break, I only just found out about this yesterday!"  
Misty pouted. I sipped some tea to try and hide the fact I was smirking.

"Look, I heard that Oak kid has his eyes set on completely remaking the image of that dump."  
We all raised our eyebrows.  
"That brat?!" Misty slammed her hands on the table and shouted exactly what I was thinking. My eyebrow twitched as I remembered him.  
Erika shrugged "It's been over a year since I've heard anything of that kid. Maybe a little excitement is just what that City needs."

Sure I still wasn't much of a talker when anyone besides Erika or Jasmine were around, but I still felt like I was learning more about people. Heck, I finally felt 'in the loop' as a Gym Leader. Most importantly.. it was fun.

They were all actually good people. All of them. Even Erika's Gym Trainers that I almost loathed with jealousy years ago. I just.. never saw it before.

I felt my regrets slipping away the more we did this. Even my regrets about closing the Gym.

Still, after a few months the old stressful questions left my mind and new ones made themselves at home instead. And they got louder. And louder.

Erika's behaviour didn't help. I found her gradually becoming more and more comfortable inside my 'personal bubble'.

She always liked to sit our chairs close to each other and I liked to think it was to help me feel more secure, but after a few weeks of becoming more comfortable with each other she would sit so closely to me that her hips rested against mine. She could probably tell that it made my face beet-red and made my mouth quiver like a Psywave attack.

But I didn't mind. In fact, I happily reciprocated. We sat closer together and occasionally leaned on each other. It was warm. It was pleasant. I loved her smell and I loved the fact she she seemed happy to share her space with me and no one else.

We occasionally spent more quiet and close moments at Celadon Gym together too. Just to catch up if we had way too much to talk about, or to escape for some peace if our tea session became too rowdy. Like that time Whitney suddenly started crying because she'd left her Miltank back in Goldenrod Gym and had wanted her to try Erika's tea..

But the privacy of Erika's closed Gym just meant that our closeness to one another began to feel.. intimate. We clearly enjoyed each others' physical company. I wanted to be near her warmth. We lay against one another, we played with each others' hair, we cuddled.

At first I didn't really pay attention to this or think anything of it, I was just happy that we were getting closer.

But then sleepless nights began to return! And this time it was because my head and chest thumped loudly, my hands covering my red face! My fist clenching my chest, which rather than aching with a cold emptiness, ached with a burning longing!

I really wanted to be physically close to her, I felt like I would be happy holding her in my arms and staying that way. I felt myself looking at her behind and other features more often too - at first out of curiosity, and then because I.. just.. wanted to? I don't know!


	8. (Warmth)

_**Thanks so much if you've read this far! I really hope you've enjoyed reading it, because I've loved writing it.**_

 _ **If you came here for the romance, then you've reached the right chapter.**_

 _ **I hope the buildup and payoff was satisfying. The idea of Erika being so blunt to Sabrina like that is actually the headcanon that kicked off this entire story.**_

* * *

"All right then, see you next week beautiful!" she hung up.

One Wednesday night, pretty close to half a year after our tea social meets first started, I had just gotten off the phone to Erika. No special reason for the call, I just wanted to ask her where she had bought a treat that Eevee had taken a liking to earlier in the day.

But she just.. went and called me 'beautiful' before hanging up. Sabrina, the intimidating and ruthless Gym Leader with cold eyes. Beautiful. Pfft.

I shuffled along to my bed and flopped down onto it, face-first. I grabbed my pillow and just.. "Uuuuuggghhh!" I muffled. The longer I thought about what she said and how badly I wanted her to be here in my arms at that moment, the redder my face became. It didn't help that we had spent hours basically cuddling in her Gym just earlier that day.

"Does Erika know what she's doing to me? Is she doing this on purpose!?" I thought aloud. I could not. Stop. Thinking about her. It was becoming harder to ignore my mind's worship for her and I didn't feel this way about anything else in the world, even though I had.. friends now. Thanks to her.

I flopped around onto my back and let the humidity escape from my face. My nose and eyes felt a little foggy from how long I'd been huffing into my pillow. I probably needed to shower in the morning.

"I'm going to lose my reputation as a cold Gym Leader if my face doesn't stop feeling so hot." I joked out loud. I fell asleep to the incessant thumping of my own, annoyingly loud heartbeat.

...

I woke in the morning with my arm covering my eyes. My body ached and my head kind of stung. I hadn't been crying, but my head and body felt like I had been. I was tired, but I showered and opened the Gym as usual.

My focus was out of whack though. I just wanted the day to be over with. This became pretty evident by my third challenger of the day.

"I had a feeling you were coming, my psychic powers are really strong, yadda yadda yadda..-"

The young challenger (luckily) ignored me and ran up to me, holding up a notepad with stars twinkling in her eyes. "S-Sabrina! I-I mean, Miss Sabrina! M-Ma'am! Is it ok if I call you Sabrina? S-sorry I'll start over I'm such a huge fan! I saw you on TV years ago and ever since then I knew that I wanted to be cool like you! And pretty and smart! Please Sabrina can I have your autograph if I win!? Please!?"

..She wasn't going to win, but she'd caught me off guard and as a result my face was bright red. "Tch!" I tutted out loud. It wasn't like me to be embarrassed by a fan like this and I was pretty sure it was all Erika's fault.

"M-miss Sabrina? Are you okay? Are you sick? I can bring you som-"

"No it's nothing! I'm fine! Let's battle now g-good luck defeating mee haha~!"

Smooth. I was going to be playing that particularly embarrassing scene with a stranger over and over in my head for years to come.

I wanted the battle to be over quickly, so I started with Alakazam. When I sent him out, I heard him laughing in my head and his eyes took a gleeful pesky fox shape. 'Quiet, you.' I replied telepathically. At least someone was enjoying this.

Luckily with my mind in a mess, Alakazam picked up my slack and was even able to defeat the Trainer's Dark-Type Pokémon, an Umbreon. As usual, I won.

The Trainer seemed dejected and upset. She looked like she wanted to say something, but read the air in the room and turned to leave, stuffing her autograph pad away in her bag. She came here as a bright-eyed fan of mine and was leaving.. like this.

I felt bad. I had been a poor host, to put it lightly. I sighed deeply and quickly tried to claw back my composure.

"W-wait..!" I called after her and summoned up all my energy to act the part of the 'cool' Gym Leader she came here thinking I was.

"Listen kid, it wouldn't be fair if I only gave autographs out to people who could defeat me... Especially since no one can defeat me! Bring that here."

I beckoned her to bring out her autograph pad while I used my telekinesis to hover a pen over from a nearby desk. I saw her expression brighten up within seconds and she was once again the glittery-eyed girl she was when she first arrived.

She rushed over and held the pad out to me, and I effortlessly used my telekinesis to scribble my signature for her. Underneath my signature, I wrote 'Keep training!'. I saw her mouthing 'wow' as I did it. I ruffled her hair. Because I could, you know? It felt like the right time to do that. Anyway!

"In return, may I ask a question?"

"A-anything Miss Sabrina!"

"Just Sabrina is fine. May I ask how your Eevee evolved into an Umbreon?"

The girl scratched her head for a few moments. "I'm not sure.. all I know is that Umbreon loves the moonlight and Umbreon loves me."

Moonlight? Love? It seemed that no one was ever really sure how to influence Eevee's other evolutions.. "Thank you for your insight. Now get out there and keep training, so you can defeat me in battle someday!"

She beamed at me and nodded. Before she stepped on the warp pad that led outside, she turned back to me; "Thank you so much Mis-, uhm, S-Sabrina.. and thank you for being my inspiration!"

Inspiration. Me? I rubbed my temples. 'Dammit.. My head hurts.'

I made my way through the Gym and told my Trainers to take the rest of the day off. I had decided to close the Gym for the day. I had to see Erika.

As I was finishing closing up, Alakazam let himself out of his Pokéball.  
'Signing that girl's autograph because you felt bad for her? That's unlike you'.

"Yeah?" I responded out loud.

'Yeah.' he said. 'She looked happy.'

"She did."  
That kind of thing used to not matter to me. Maybe it should?  
I used to think that I never inspired anyone, but maybe my personality was making that difficult. And I was changing.

Alakazam did not criticise me for closing the Gym. He understood immediately what I was going through. That Pokémon's capacity for intellectual and emotional understanding shocked me more every day.

After I had let out the rest of my Pokémon and Alakazam had taken to feeding them all, I steeled myself. I took a deep breath and reached for the video phone. My hands were shaking, obviously, because I was about to ask something unreasonable and stupid.

"Sabrina!" Erika picked up happily "What a pleasant surprise!"

Rather than beating around the bush, I immediately asked the unbelievable question I'd called to ask. I failed to hide the fact that I was clutching my annoying, thumping, burning chest with a balled fist.

"Erika can you.. Can you close up your Gym and come see me here?"  
She looked puzzled for a second and briefly pouted, but her expression quickly softened. I knew she didn't like to leave Celadon City often. I don't know.

She then covered her mouth with her fan and surprised me with her response.  
"All right, be there soon sweetie." she hung up. That was.. easy?

I wasn't waiting long, but I paced back and forth the entire time. To be honest, I didn't really expect her to agree to see me that easily. I was NOT prepared for her to just come over so quickly. I huffed as my mind couldn't even begin to decide what exactly I should say. What I even wanted to say. I know I wanted to see her really badly, but why? What exactly could she do that would help me? I began to feel really stupid. Ugh! Why did I do that!?

As I was pacing and dragging my hands across my face, Erika wandered in. I stopped in my tracks and stared at her, my face still red. She stared back. This was probably the most concerned I had seen her in some time. She would have to be, after I suddenly told her to close her Gym and come see me.

I didn't want to see that look on her face anymore. I gulped and briskly walked up to her, hugging her and hiding my face on her shoulder. So she couldn't see my dumb red face and I couldn't see her pity.

My hunch was correct about one thing. My painful chest felt at ease while I was hugging her. I sighed deeply.

"... What's wrong, Sabrina?" she ran her hand through my hair "You'd better tell me or I swear to Arceus.." she jokingly threatened.

I held on. "I don't know. It's really stupid."

"Tell me."

"I just.. I wanted to see you. That's literally the only reason.  
You're the only thing that soothes my burning chest. You care about me. You think I'm beautiful. I can't actually put into words how badly I want to be near you when I think about these things. I just.. needed this.."

We stood there hugging for a short while, my chin resting on her shoulder and my head leant against hers'. I was probably crying a bit? And was relieved she couldn't see. I felt so stupid that I had gotten this unreasonably worked up on a work morning for apparently no reason.

Erika gave me a small squeeze. "So then.. you want us to be closer than we are now?"  
I just nodded. Since her head was brushed right against mine, she could probably tell.

"Are you.. comfortable if I do this?"  
She pushed her nose into my cheek and held my thumping head in both her warm hands.  
I nodded again and squeaked "yeah".

Erika let go. "Silly, your head is so hot!" I let go too and quickly hid my ashamed face in my hands as Erika whipped her fan out and playfully fanned my hot head. She was giggling. "Shh sweetheart, I think I know what's ailing you."

She turned away from me and held her fan over her mouth again. I dropped my hands and stared at the back of her head, which at the time was a bit easier than looking at her eyes. I wiped my own eyes and was able to calm down slightly.

Well, for a second.

"Sabrina.. I've decided that you and I are dating now, okay?"

She turned and looked me directly in the eyes, with her fan still covering her mouth. Her eyes were completely serious. Cool. Serene. Like a lake. Arceus, I had always loved those eyes.

All I could muster up in the end was a quiet "O-okay."  
I stood there wide-eyed, like a Stantler in headlights.

"Close your eyes."

I briefly saw her approach me and lower her fan from her mouth before I closed my eyes as she asked. I felt her kimono brushing against me. Then I felt her embrace enveloping me.

Then... my lips felt warm, and my stresses melted away.


	9. (Laughter)

_**(Notes: Here it is.. the unapologetic fluff chapter! Those of you who are here for the fluff, this is the chapter for you! I really hope I was able to put Sabrina's complicated emotions and reactions into words well enough.**_

 _ **I want to make a shoutout to the guest reviewer "Darkeye" for the kind comment! I really appreciate it!**_

 _ **Thanks again to anyone else who has commented, enjoyed, or even just read this far. It makes me so happy to know some people have enjoyed this!)**_

* * *

If she wasn't hugging me I might have tried to move away. Not because I disliked it, but because I thought there must be some mistake. Maybe she slipped? Maybe I was imagining things?

No, these were her lips and she pulled me closer as she kissed me, denying me a chance of second guessing her intentions.

I, of course, kissed back. Why wouldn't I? I didn't even question it.

The moment our lips met it felt like home. I became suddenly, profoundly aware of something I had always wanted - I had just never realised I wanted it.

My unmistakable longing to kiss and hold Erika romantically like this suddenly snapped into existence and was immediately satisfied within a fraction of that second. I experienced an indescribable feeling of shock and serenity all at once.

I.. really didn't know how to handle the situation though. What should I have done with my hands? Hug her back? I couldn't. I just left them hanging awkwardly at my side. How do you kiss people anyway? Should I have moved my lips or just let Erika press herself into them? I had no idea. I just left my mouth mostly still. I was the very picture of someone who had never kissed anyone before.

While all these thoughts and questions danced around my euphoric head, mere seconds had passed. It wasn't long before Erika eased away, though she still left one arm wrapped around my back.

I timidly opened my eyes to meet her gaze. She was.. really close, and I could feel her warmth on my face. I was still extremely flustered, but seeing her eyes so close right after she had kissed me was enough to make my head so hot that my hair felt like it was standing on end.

"First kiss?" Erika whispered confidently. My eyes darted curiously to her lips, but her fan was already covering her mouth again. I pouted.

"Y-yeah..." I breathed meekly. The way she held me against herself intimately actually made me feel a little more confident of what was happening, but I was still largely lost for words. I let out a hot sigh and shivered, as if I'd been tensely holding air in my lungs for a while.

She peered to my arms and gently headbutted her forehead to mine. "Hey.. hug me, silly... I'm your girlfriend now. You can do at least that much."

' _Girlfriend. Girlfriend!? I'm your girlfriend now. I'm your girlfriend now._ '  
Her words bounced excitedly around my head.

My face heated up again. My mouth quivered. My eyes lost focus. My heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest. It took me a few moments to digest what she had said before I made myself sheepishly curl my arms around her neck and lean my head back against hers', as I stared into her eyes.

I loved this closeness. I loved this warmth. I loved it. I never wanted to leave.

The reality of it all began to sink in. The kiss, this intimacy, my feelings.. I became overwhelmed. A choked up whimper escaped my throat as I squeezed her tighter, burying my face in her shoulder, wanting to be as close as possible. A few tears streamed quietly down my face. Erika stroked my hair reassuringly.

"What am I going to do with you.." she purred comfortingly.

I felt her take a deep breath in before she gently gripped my shoulders and pulled away slightly. I could finally see her mouth now. She was smiling sweetly as she wiped my cheeks with her finger. I smiled back, though my mouth was still quivering slightly.

I.. really hoped she could see how happy I was despite my mess of a face. Even looking into her beautiful eyes was still a little overwhelming, and it was taking way too much will power to stop the tears flowing. I emotionally huffed a laugh as I tried to calm down, sniffling and rubbing my own red eyes.

"S-so.. I uh.." I admittedly didn't know what to do now. I averted eye-contact and stared down. I noticed her normally sunny kimono was slightly damp from my tears. I bit my lip in embarrassment. "U-uh.. what do girlfriends do exactly?"

'Dumb question! Stupid question! Aaargh!' my thoughts berated me.

Erika laughed. A pretty hearty laugh rather than a small giggle. Like I'd told a funny joke. My shoulders slumped and I pouted again feeling even more embarrassed. Erika affectionately pecked at my cheek a few times to cheer me up.

"Girlfriends do.. stuff like this. They kiss.. they cuddle.. actually they do a lot of stuff we already do." she tilted her head and locked eyes with me, smiling tenderly and rubbing my upper arms reassuringly "We've been enjoying occasional physical intimacy for a while now.. so we were already pretty couple-y don't you think?"

"I-is that right.." was Erika seriously flirting with me all this time? She knew what she was doing to me!? Meany.. But more than anything, I was still shocked that she had been willingly giving me that kind of attention these past months.

"Yes?" she giggled and gave me a small squeeze. "And Sabrina.. girlfriends also open up to each other. Please don't feel like you need to hide things from me or hesitate so much around me, okay?"

Clearly she could still sense my anxiety and hesitance to act, but it was probably pretty obvious from the way I kept holding myself back from indulging myself in her. Even though she was my 'girlfriend', I still wasn't confident in the reality of that and all it entailed. I felt volatile, like I could lose it all in a single second with just one false move.

"..Can I kiss you again?" I worked up the courage to ask. Erika playfully twirled a finger around my long dark hair and giggled "Of course you may~" before leaning into me and closing her eyes expectantly.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head. I first bumped into her nose with mine.. then into her forehead with mine.. before my lips finally found hers' and pressed into them. I relaxed and breathed out through my nose, my endeavour completed.

It was more of a determined peck compared to her longer kiss, but I actually felt pretty embarrassed after bumping into her twice so I pulled back after just a few. "Hehe.. S-sorry about that."

Erika giggled and assertively grabbed my collar in her fists, pulling me into another kiss. This time she breathed in deeply as her lips engulfed mine.. before letting me go and letting off some steam.

She held my face in her hands, close to hers', beaming at me with the same adoring expression she usually afforded to Grass Type Pokémon. "You're so cute Sabrina.. You are seriously such a cutie! I can't get over how cute my girlfriend is!" she laughed a little louder, affectionately kissing my cheek a few times before planting another on my lips. She was grinning as my face reddened like mad again.

"Y-you winnn.." I mumbled in a smitten daze as, my eyes glazing over from the barrage of affections.

Obviously, she was way better at this than me! I was not at all surprised, but even though she kept messing with me like this I didn't mind? She seemed happy.. really happy. Even though it was just me, she was really happy to hold and kiss me. Happy that I was hers'. I was totally caught up in her pace and seeing her laugh and smile as she held me made all my worries evaporate.

But we'd been standing up hugging for a while and I'd been crying.. so it was getting a little harder to ignore the pounding ache in my head.

"Uuggh." I groaned out loud in a moment of calm. "Does crying ever stop giving you big annoying headaches?"

Erika smiled sympathetically and stroked my hands. "No.. unfortunately I don't think so sweetie." she huffed and gave me a little space, sitting us down.

Eventually I relaxed a little more. While I lacked the confidence to be very assertive about doing anything 'couple-y', she more than made up for it by being affectionate with me, helping me to feel comfortable in the new weird situation.

Actually, it was a little like how it was when we rekindled our friendship after years of not talking. Kind of? Just in the way she initiated conversations and encouraged me that I was doing okay. She even encouraged me about my messy first kiss and said she couldn't wait for me to try to kiss her again.

Arceus... Okay then.

We actually ended up spending the rest of the day together. I hinted a few times that Erika could go and reopen her Gym, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Don't be silly! I'm not leaving until we have our first meal together as a couple of course~!" she chimed and clapped her hands together innocently. I squinted at her suspiciously and she just laughed.

After squabbling a little over who got to cook dinner, I finally persuaded her that since she was _my guest_ I _should_ be the one cooking. I actually really wanted to try her cooking, but I couldn't allow it. No way.

I wasn't really a fantastic cook. I'm still not, actually. It's literally a by-the-books thing to me. I followed the instructions in the cookbook precisely, so it's fine. Just nothing special.

This was the first time I was anxious about how my cooking tasted though. Erika was fascinated by how obsessively precise I was in my measurements, peering over my shoulder nosily the whole time. It was really cute? But I was starting to think my red face would never return to its regular pale shade ever again!

"Arceus, Sabrina, you even made it look exactly how it looks in the cookbook picture!" she exclaimed excitedly, her eyes lighting up "I seriously always thought they were just airbrushed to look nicer!"

What a weird thing to be impressed about! Wasn't it supposed to look exactly how it looks in the cookbook picture? My girlfriend is weird. I laughed anxiously.

In the end, despite my concerns she insisted the meal was delicious. She still couldn't believe how exact I made everything, down to our portions being identical to each other in weight and arrangement. She kept going on about it!

"It's really not that difficult with a little telekinesis, it's not a big deal..!" I waved my hands in front of myself embarrassedly and tried not to laugh.

Erika slapped the table gently, pretending to slam it "That's not the point! Your attention to detail is absurd! I can't believe you do this every day!" she tried to hold back her laughter.. but she was terrible at it, it just made her laugh louder. She actually snorted a little sometimes while laughing? Which was.. _so adorable_. Her laugh was so cute and contagious and I couldn't help but laugh myself.

Come to think of it, I had seen her smile a lot while we were together, but I had never, ever seen her laugh like this before.

She brightened up the cold halls of my Gym for the day and it almost felt like it was somewhere much more pleasant than my home. Even in my brief moments of anxiety it was hard to fight this persistent, goofy smile on my face the whole time, and a pleasant feeling of warmth in my chest. I was unsurprisingly sad to see her go in the evening.

I saw her off at the front door of my Gym.. it was pretty late, but Celadon was still a quick trip. I clasped Erika's hands in mine. I planned to say something cheesy but in the end all I could come up with was..  
"A-are you sure the food was okay.."

Erika beamed back at me, shining brightly like a star against the clear night sky "Honestly Sabrina, I haven't laughed like that in so long.. nothing is more delicious than wonderful company, and the food you made me was almost as utterly delightful as the chef." she blushed slightly and tilted her head.

What the hell! She can't just say something like that out of nowhere!

"Tch" I tutted out loud and pouted "You're making me want to kiss you, you know.."

"I was counting on it~" Erika teased, leaning her head closer to mine and resting her arms around my neck, as she twirled my hair in her fingers flirtily.

Aggh! Fine dammit! Let's go!

I grabbed Erika by the shoulders with conviction and stared directly into her eyes. I think she actually jumped in surprise a little bit and her mouth took a v-shape.

I closed my eyes and slinked my arms around her back, pulling her close.. she relaxed into my hug while her gentle hands slid down my torso before resting on my rear.

Which made my head feel like exploding.

But no! I can't let her defeat me this easily! Even if she touches my butt!

I hugged her tighter in protest and pushed my lips into hers' more assertively than last time, my eyes shut tight as I endured the redness of my own face. I felt her squeeze me and giggle in delight.

As I pulled away I let out a deep sigh. "I can't believe you..!" I pouted. She reacted with another of her adorable infectious laughs.. so I ended up laughing too.

"Th-thank you for today. I loved it. Every minute of it." I said as I locked eyes with her again. She whipped out her fan and fanned herself, covering her mouth.

"I had a wonderful time with you, too. Aren't you glad I told you we were dating?" her eyes took that mischievous shape again. Even though she was teasing me, I felt myself growing more confident.

"I'm not sure." I ran the back of my hand through her hair as I stared her in the eyes "I think I may need a lot more kissing from you in the future to help me decide."

That was the smoothest I had ever been in my life. I actually saw a little redness appear from behind Erika's fan, as she fanned herself as quickly as her heart raced. I grinned sheepishly.

"Phew! I've trained you well.." she giggled. Giving my hand a little squeeze, she excitedly said "I really can't wait to spend time with you again. Call me, sweetie~"

...

I wandered back inside. Alakazam and my other Pokémon had respectfully kept to themselves for most of the day. As I wound down for the evening in a wonderful, elated mood, I went to find and thank him.

'Thank you, for being so cooperative today.'

Alakazam calmly closed his eyes and nodded 'Think nothing of it... Erika.. all of this, has been really good for you.'

I beamed at him warmly and nodded.

'I can tell she's a good person too.. so I hope you've been able to put the stressful past behind you.'

Alakazam was showing concern for me more often lately as we got closer.  
But he needn't, it wasn't necessary!

Erika and I were actually dating now. The past didn't matter to me anymore,

At least, I didn't think it mattered at the time.


	10. (Moonlight)

**_(Notes: Their first date!_** ** _I hope it wasn't too cheesy but I think this is easily one of my favourite chapters so far. It was soo fun to write.)_**

* * *

I was elated for the rest of the week. Looking back, it was actually a little embarrassing how much it impacted my personality. I was a lot cockier around challengers - but friendlier too. I was also a lot more confident in my battle ability and felt myself wiping out challengers much easier than usual.

But maybe it didn't matter that I was embarrassing? I could tell that Alakazam and Mr. Mime were enjoying battling a lot more than usual too.

But Arceus did that Friday drag on! Even though I was in such a wonderful mood, every moment that went by I felt myself just wanting to see Erika.

At first I was thinking 'I can probably wait until next Wednesday to see her again, right?'

Uh, no! I actually couldn't! After just one day I felt like I had to see her again. So that evening, I picked up the phone, and-

"Ah! Sabrina!"

"Eh?" I blinked in surprise, Erika was already on the line.

"You picked up so quickly, I'd literally just finished dialling you.. were you sitting around the phone waiting for me to call?" she squinted at me suspiciously.

"Actually I was just about to call you..." I scratched my cheek awkwardly "I'm supposed to be the psychic one here, but it's like you read my mind..

A-anyway, Erika.."

Before I could really say anything, she quickly bowed her head and interjected. "I know.. I know what you want to say and I want to as well.. but I don't think I can spend time with you until Sunday." she smiled apologetically.

I opened my mouth to say something, but stopped because I didn't want to sound like I was complaining. She really did look sorry about it.

"I wanted to see you today.. and tomorrow too.. but I need to handle some things here in Celadon and I don't want to be worrying about them while I'm with you. Does that make sense?"

I nodded, feeling a little at ease. My smile relaxed. Erika was very passionate about Celadon and she did leave it just to spend time with me yesterday. "Yeah, I understand."

I tilted my head "You can make it up to me.. I'll come to Celadon on Sunday and you can take me out?" I tried to sound confident, but I hoped she would like the offer to spend time in Celadon instead of here.

She nodded and beamed at me warmly, "I'd be happy to! I'll spoil you to repay you for your patience, and the lovely meal last night!"

"It'll be a hard wait." I huffed "But honestly, it's been nice just to see your face and hear your voice for a few minutes."

Erika covered her mouth with her fan and chuckled. It looked like she blushed, but maybe I was imagining things. "Yeah.. same here. I'll see you soon, sweetie."

"G-good night sw-.. E-Erika.." I wanted to try using a pet name, but didn't have the guts to follow through. I sheepishly waved and tried to pretend I hadn't just stuttered like that.

The call ended. I pouted, feeling embarrassed and awkward. "Uuuggh!" I groaned, rubbing my fingers on my temple irritably for a few moments before smacking my cheeks. "Just one day. No problem." I motivated myself aloud.

...

Saturday isn't typically a busy day for the Gym but I opened regardless, just to keep myself occupied and to make the day go by faster. I was still in a good mood, but was admittedly feeling a little anxious too.

Lately I was beginning to notice, more and more, how my battle ability correlated to my state of mind. It wasn't a big deal as I rarely struggled to defeat most challengers with ease. Still, it was a little frustrating. I felt like I was letting down Alakazam and my other battle partners when I became self-conscious about my battle ability like this.

'Sorry about today' I mused to Alakazam telepathically as we closed up on Saturday evening.  
Alakazam shrugged his shoulders 'I could tell you were battling differently, but you needn't apologise. Your difference in ability is not as significant as you think.'

'Is that so..' I stared at the ceiling. 'You don't think emotions hold too much sway over me these days?'

'Nonsense.' Alakazam scoffed 'You're still human, Sabrina.'

'Erika never seems to struggle with her emotions like this.'

'You think so?' Alakazam questioned curiously. He chuckled. 'Good night, Sabrina.'

He allowed himself into his Pokéball and retired for the night. "Good night". I responded out loud.  
I headed to bed too. One thing was for sure, I was sleeping a lot better nowadays. Maybe... I really _was_ doing okay.

...

I tugged gently at the tight collar of my suit and anxiously fiddled with my cuffs. It wasn't like I was worried about pulling off a suit, I had done so in the past for family obligations and for showcasing my psychic abilities at public events.

I was still nervous about it though. This was the first time I had worn one on.. a date.

On Sunday morning, Erika called me to say "I'm going to take you to Celadon City's finest restaurant! Dress up fancy for me, okay beautiful?"

So, I wasn't given much choice. Luckily, the thought of seeing Erika in formal dress was the only motivation I could ever need.

My mind wandered trying to imagine Erika dressed up - partially to distract myself from the anxiety associated with going to a distinguished restaurant.

I'd done that in the past with my family too, but that kind of highly tense and formal atmosphere made me uncomfortable. Being formal wasn't an issue for me! In fact, I was better at being formal and polite than informal and relaxed. Just.. on my own terms. In my Gym or something. Somewhere I felt in control.

"Ohh, wow!" I heard a gentle clap behind me. "You look _gorgeous_!"

I span around and felt my eyes widen. Erika had emerged from her Gym, basically shimmering in the setting sun in a long, dark green gown. Her soft dark hair was adorned with a white hair band and rainbow flower accessory not too dissimilar in appearance to her own Gym's badge.

I had to cover my own mouth with my hands in an effort to stop an excited squeak escaping, but she giggled - so she probably heard.

"How do I look?" she tugged at the skirt of her dress, showing it off. "It's nice to have an excuse to wear something besides a kimono from time to time."

"You look iridescent.." I said without hesitation, my eyes fixed on her. She blinked a little rapidly and I could have sworn her face became several shades pinker before she looked away and fanned herself.

I then averted my gaze and scratched my face awkwardly, worrying I had said something weird. "B-but you always look beautiful in a kimono too!" Erika thought that was funny - but her infectious laughter relaxed me.

She walked up to me and bumped her hip to mine, locking our arms. "Thank you, honey~"

' _Honey!? HONEY!?_ ' My mind squeaked. I felt steam rising in my head as I tried to wrap my head around what this woman was doing to me.

She gently tugged my arm with hers' "Come along!"  
"Isn't it a little awkward to walk with your arms locked with mine like that?" I pouted, feeling a little embarrassed at her unapologetic PDA.

"Who cares, it's our first date so we have to go out of our way to do mushy, coupley things, right?" she giggled loudly, clearly enjoying myself. I couldn't help but loosen up and earnestly refract her cheeriness, grinning back at her.

"So, daarling~" Erika continued her merciless barrage of pet names as we wandered the bustling evening streets of Celadon. The Game Corner district was lit up with distracting lights and activity, but there were few children or Pokémon to be seen. "That full crimson suit of yours is very striking! It's like I have my very own bodyguard!" she chimed playfully, huddling my arm possessively.

"I'm almost relieved you haven't seen it before.." I laughed awkwardly "This is an outfit I've worn at psychic ability exhibitions, stage shows.. that kind of thing. They're aired on the TV fairly often.."

Erika gave me one of the most genuinely surprised looks I'd ever seen from her. "What!? You're on TV often!?"

" _YOU'VE_ been on TV!" I huffed a laughed in response

"I-I know but.. barely ever. I don't really watch TV so I didn't realise, sorry.." she seemed uncharacteristically apologetic, so I rubbed her arm reassuringly.

"Hey, I said I was relieved right? I don't watch TV much either.. and I don't really like how a lot of people treat psychics like they're entertainers."

"They treat you like you're a magician or something?" she frowned "Do you feel the need to even do these shows?"

"Mmm.." I shrugged "My family was eager to show off my psychic powers to the world from a young age. They said it would help with my career.. and maybe it did a little, but I'd like to avoid doing that sort of thing in the future."

"Do you dislike the attention? You've been in papers and magazines since we were kids."

"I don't really care about that. The attention I get from fans or the press doesn't feel genuine to me. It just.. irks me to see psychic abilities being treated like an attraction." I thought back to some of the incidents I'd had with my abilities in the past. "They're.. dangerous."

Erika looked away from me and squeezed my arm again. We walked in silence for a short while before Erika spoke again.

"I know you don't care about it.. but I'm still happy for your popularity. It's nice to see you on magazine covers and things.. plus, now I get to show off my popular girlfriend to everyone~!" she grinned at me.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!" I still felt like a tiny Caterpie compared to Erika's mighty glow and the social life she attracted.

"Huh?" Erika tilted her head back at me, looking confused.

' _Huh?_ ' What? Was she playing dumb? I pouted, but before I could say anything she gave my arm a little tug.

"Right, here we are!" Erika chimed excitedly. She let go of my arm and grabbed my hand in both of hers', pulling me inside eagerly.

The place was actually in the Game Corner district and was brightly lit up like most of the area was. Less gaudy than the neon signs of the entertainment buildings, but still a little overwhelming. I squinted at Erika as if to say 'seriously?' and she nodded back at me excitedly "Come along, come along~"

An absurdly smartly dressed waiter approached. "Ahh Miss Erika, we have been expecting you!" His accent was pretty strong.. "You look utterly radiant this evening as always!"

I scowled at him, but I don't think he noticed.

"Allow me to show you to your table." he bowed and led us to a quiet corner of the restaurant, before quickly scampering away to let us get settled. It was pleasantly lit and warm, away from most of the restaurant's chatter and overwhelming scale. "I'm glad you picked a spot like this.." I sighed in relief and made myself comfortable.

Erika grinned playfully at me. "Welcome to Celadon City's.. _finest_ establishment.." she declared, putting on a pretty bad fake yakuza-sounding accent and sitting herself down across from me. "That was so bad!" I scoffed, though I couldn't help but smile.

We overheard some waiters scrambling around busily. "Hey.." Erika leant over to me and whispered "Do you think this place is secretly run by Rockets?"

I grimaced a little "Tch.. don't even joke about stuff like that.." I had to admit the waiters did sound like they spoke like yakuza sometimes but still, Team Rocket made such a huge mess in Celadon and Saffron, I didn't really want to think about them.

She held her hands in front of herself apologetically and changed the subject "Look.. I know what you're thinking.. and admittedly this place is a bit much for me too, but the food is _really_ good, I promise."

I smirked "Are you sure? The waiter seemed to know you.." and she waved her hands defensively. "I'm the Gym Leader so my influence gets around! Plus my family know the people who run this place."

That did make sense. Erika's family was quite reputable, which was probably why she always took such great care with her appearance. I almost never saw her without some kind of kimono and hairband combo on, even though we were getting pretty intimately close to one another.

I reached to her hands and gently grabbed them, smiling fondly at her. "I'll take your word for it them, madame."

She giggled "Careful, you're so dapper in that suit you're going to make me faint."

We chatted and flirted away. I was expecting to have a while to chat with her as we waited for the food but I was shocked at how quick the service was. Before long there was a ridiculously exquisite looking spread of sushi platters adorning our table among other side dishes.

"Sorry if you were hoping for Farfetch'd," Erika smiled awkwardly. "They do it here, but I'd rather not eat it. The only meat I usually let myself eat is fish."

I blinked, still not used to Erika being apologetic like that "Don't worry." I smiled warmly at her and helped myself to some rice. "Sushi is a wonderful treat from time to time."

Erika pointed her chopsticks to a particularly white set of sushi after indulgently popping some Magikarp sushi into her mouth. "By the way" she spoke with her mouth full "That's Quilfish. If you've ever wanted to try Quilfish, now's your chance."

Quilfish? Wasn't that highly poisonous unless cooked just right? "Eh.. I'll pass.." I awkwardly smiled and sipped some sake as Erika continued to shovel down Magikarp.

"Oh.. and don't speak with your mouth full 'honey'." I teased her calmly, to which she laughed pretty loudly. "If you say stuff like that I'm going to spit out my food and I'll never be able to show my face here again!" - before I knew it I was laughing with her.

I felt surprisingly relaxed here actually. I had been to a fancy restaurant like this before. Just.. never with pleasant company. My family weren't cruel but they were strict, past visits to restaurants had always been so formal. I was able to appreciate the atmosphere and food a lot better with Erika being such a fun companion, it was a completely different experience.

"I'm a little surprised to see Magikarp served somewhere like here.. it never came across as high class food to me." I took a few Kingler sushi rolls.

"Mm, it's not." Erika sipped some sake "But some Magikarp are huge or have extra tough bodies, those end up being quite valuable. Which is nice for me! Since it's so common and isn't being over-fished, I feel less guilty eating it compared to many other species."

"No golden Magikarp here today though?" I joked.

"Arceus, I doubt it! I don't think I could afford that!" she laughed in response. "Oh yeah." she pointed out a couple of the other sushi and rolls "A lot of these have actually been shipped up from Hoenn.. I think there's some Clampearl and Huntail in there."

My eyes widened a little in surprise. "Uh.. I think I tried some Huntail without realising."

"What did you think?"

"I thought I wouldn't like eel, but it was nice. I'm not good with shellfish though.." Erika giggled, clearly enjoying my reactions to new things.

"By the way.." she piped up again, leaning on her hand and staring at me curiously as I scooped a bunch of rice into my mouth "How come you never eat using your telekinesis? That seems like it would be really convenient."

I fiddled my chopsticks around with my fingers and stared at them as I thought how to explain. "I dunno. It seems rude, and scary. It's not like it's a common ability so it would just attract too much attention, you know? Eating food like anyone else does is fine."

"How about doing chores?"

I pouted "I.. I don't like using them outside of work. It's a work thing! Besides, I don't see you watering plants or anything outside of work." I teased.

"Liaar!" Erika laughed "You know better than anyone that I keep my SquirtBottle on me at _all_ times." she winked before continuing to laugh.

I sniggered "You don't mean.."

She held her finger over her mouth "Shh!" and peeked her favourite SquirtBottle out from behind her, which caused me to burst out laughing.

"Seriously!?"

"Shh, shh!" she laughed as she waved her hands about defensively.

"Seriously?" I tried to keep it down but I kept giggling "Where do you even carry it, you didn't take a bag..!?"

She winked again "Secret.. it's a secret. Anyway eat up Sabrina! Eat!" she continued to laugh and snorted a little.

"Hmm." I rested my cheek on my hand and just stared at her. I felt completely warm and relaxed in the moment, like my entire body was smiling and giggling "Actually, I think I'm okay just looking at you for the rest of the meal." Probably the sake talking. Whatever right?

Erika's eyes widened and her face went pink. It DEFINITELY went pink this time, I wasn't imagining it. I smirked mischievously at her as she whipped out her fan and began to fan herself.

"G-geeze!" she huffed. I laughed a little louder and after she composed herself she was giggling from behind her fan.

We ate and drank at a relaxed pace, stuck in our own world. Even though we'd seen each other so much that week it felt like we still had so much to talk about. It became even easier to make her laugh too, which was joyous.

By the time we were finally ready to leave, it was already very late.

"Ah.. work tomorrow." I realised out loud. Erika gave me a sympathetic smile. "Let's get you home to bed sweetie." she beckoned the waiter over and asked for the bill.

"I'm getting you home to bed first Erika.. and I'm footing the bill."

"No Sabrina, I insist!" I opened my mouth to object but Erika held her hand in front of my face.

"I. Insist." she stared me down. I furrowed my brow at her and she grinned. This.. can't have been cheap.

'Just this once'. I thought, using my telekinesis to transfer a lump of cash from my wallet to hers' while she was focused on paying and tipping the waiter.

Celadon City was quiet. This was the quietest and darkest I had ever seen it, and I was kind of awestruck. The Game Corner was still lit up and bustling, but the crowds had diminished and patrons were quietly shuffling around moreso than loudly rushing.

As we drew away from the loud part of town and neared Erika's Gym, things became more and more quiet - until there was almost no light besides the stars and moon in the clear night sky.

Erika's Gym was hidden away in a wooded area to the south of the City, and I'd never appreciated before just how serene the area was.

It was near completely silent besides the soft, rhythmical crunch of our feet walking through the grass. Occasionally the snap of a small twig. Faint cries of Pokémon shuffling in the brush could be heard.

I almost didn't want anyone to talk at all from how peaceful it was.

I normally felt awkward in social silences, but every few seconds she would squeeze my hand in hers' reassuringly, reminding me that she wanted me to be here.

Our eyes were accustomed and the light from the moon and stars were enough to stop us from stumbling around in the dark. We were both a little tipsy but I felt light as a feather.

"Wait..!" Erika whispered and stood on the spot, pulling me back close to her. "Shh.. do you hear that?"

"Hm?" I huddled close to her and stilled my breath. "What is it?" I whispered back. I heard a few faint Pokémon cries that were unfamiliar to me.

"Listen.. I think that was a Hoothoot just then.."

Her eyes lit up in the moonlight as she stared into the darkness with wonder, holding myself and herself as still as she could.

Erika's honest awe at the simplest things in nature.. her earnest passion towards things we normally take for granted.. was infectious. I couldn't help but want to see the natural world through her enchanted eyes. I felt myself genuinely caring and thinking about things I had never really paid attention to before.

Her grip on me loosened after the cry seemed to stop. "Ah.. I think it heard us." she giggled and tugged me along.

"You think Hoothoot are becoming more common in Kanto?" I leaned in and whispered as we walked.

"Yeah." Erika whispered back "I thought I was imagining things at first, but they must be gathering berries from around here.."

"Mm.." I mumbled sleepily as I soaked in the calm atmosphere.

It wasn't long before we reached Erika's Gym. She'd left some lights on inside so it was dimly lit against the moonlight. I stood beside her and squeezed her hand, not wanting the evening to be over. She squeezed back and turned towards me.

"That was probably the best night I've had in.. a long time. Maybe even years? Thank you for being such wonderful company."

I looked at the ground and blushed before turning towards her myself. I opened my mouth as I scrambled for words to pad the evening out.. just a little longer.

"Ahh... I.. you know.. you really do look incredible in that dress. The moonlight touches you and suddenly you're just.. shimmering. And then you're the only thing I care to look at." I cradled her waist in my arms and opened my mouth again, but my poetic thoughts were dried up "Uh.. yeah.. thank you so much for tonight."

"Uggh that's so cheesy.." Erika gripped my arms and looked at the ground, avoiding my eyes. I stroked her hair before resting my hand on her cheek. She put her hand on mine.

"Geeze Sabrina.. you're _really_ not going easy on me here.."

I tilted my head and huffed "What are you on about..?"

Erika quickly flung her arms around my neck and pushed into me, breathing in deeply as our lips met. I gently cupped her jaw in my hand and kissed her back, much more confidently this time.

She pulled back and stroked my hand with hers again. She kissed my wrist affectionately and planted a few quick pecks on my cheek. "I'm really happy, Sabrina.. thank you, I mean it."

"That's my line.." I pouted. Erika laughed gently, turning towards the doors of her Gym.

"I'd invite you inside, but.." Erika sheepishly held her door frame.

"It's late." I smiled disappointedly "To be honest, I didn't want the evening to end.. but we have work tomorrow and I've hogged your attention enough for one week."

Erika sighed wistfully. "I'll.. see you on Wednesday, like normal?"

I nodded and grinned "See you then.. have a good day at work tomorrow, 'sweetie'."

"Ahh geeze.. thank you, you too Sabrina."

She edged inside and hesitated "By the way.. you're beautiful. Okay good night!" ... then she scurried inside before I could say anything.

Hahh.. what a weirdo.  
Both of us, I guess.


	11. (Communication)

_**(Notes: This story just keeps getting bigger in my head! So here's some groundwork for some upcoming plots n things I want to tackle by the end. Plus, it's just nice to establish that Sabrina has friends besides Erika. Jasmine's starting to feel like a main character! This and the upcoming chapter were fun to write and focus on character interaction so I hope they're enjoyable!**_

 _ **PS.. did anyone spot the suspicious name in this chapter? Hmm.. what could that mean.)**_

* * *

When I greeted the new week, part of me was anxious that nothing would ever be the same again. Not just because my social life would be fundamentally different now, but because each day without her could be.. a complete drag.

In actuality, it wasn't so bad! The date we enjoyed together in Celadon served as a wonderful ice-breaker and reassured me that I wasn't mistaken in my feelings for her. Her affection towards me felt real too, no longer like a dream.

After that, the working days became easier. Much easier than last week. I was more cool, calm and confident again, in both presentation and in battle. Back to feeling.. sort of like 'myself' again, I suppose.

"What a relief." I thought aloud as I fed Eevee one morning "My girlfriend likes me and I don't feel like a human disaster for once!" I giggled and petted him affectionately.

Erika encouraged things to stay relaxed between us too. I was surprisingly not that worried about it, but she called me Tuesday evening anyway - ahead of our usual Wednesday meet-up.

"You sure you're okay? I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable tomorrow." she fanned herself a little nervously.

"I'm not worried." I shrugged "You said yourself we were already quite intimate before we started dating. We'll just be ourselves."

And I was being honest. I saw no reason to behave differently to normal around Erika with friends around. We already found it easy to chat. We laughed together. No one who knew us had a problem with that before, so why would they now?

"I'm glad you feel that way." her body heaved as she sighed in relief "All right..! I'll see you tomorrow then." she waved and I grinned back at her before she hung up.

It was nice that she was worried about me, but I hoped I wouldn't just keep causing her distress. I figured I would do my best to show her that I would be fine.

...

It was just Jasmine, Erika and I again like usual that week - and as usual Erika and I sat closely to one another.

Just being close to her and holding hands was fine. I understood that it was difficult to adjust when your social dynamic had changed.. I feel like I understood that pretty well actually. So out of respect for Erika, I didn't show Jasmine any indication that we were dating.

"So Jasmine sweetie, guess who got herself a girlfriend~!" Erika went and spilled the Poké beans anyway.

For the briefest moment, Jasmine shot me the saddest expression I had ever seen from her. I was so taken aback by it that I completely forgot to blush at what Erika was saying.

Erika wrapped an arm around me playfully "Sabrina and I are dating, feel free to feign surprise!" she grinned.

Jasmine's expression relaxed considerably and she sighed as she smiled sweetly. "Th-that's so wonderful, you two!"

Was she.. worried about me? I stared at her and tilted my head as I relaxed slightly into Erika's shoulder. I felt Erika sigh as she squeezed me a little and the other two continued to chat away as my mind wandered.

Why did she look at me like that? I repeated the thought, 'why did she look at me like that?'

It was bugging me more than I cared to admit. I couldn't focus on enjoying myself. I'd never seen anyone besides Erika or my Pokémon show that kind of earnest concern towards me before and I wasn't sure how to process it.

While my thoughts were occupied, Erika got up "I'm going to fetch some more tea!" and waddled off, leaving Jasmine and I alone.

I continued to stare at Jasmine absent-mindedly from across the table and I'm sure she could tell. Because she was beginning to avoid eye contact. Neither of us spoke, but I wanted to.. I _had_ to inquire.

The only problem was, I didn't feel comfortable confronting her about something so.. petty? I barely even felt comfortable talking to her casually without Erika around. Without Erika nearby, I was still rather.. distant, and formal. Cold.

So.. I formulated the question in my mind, once more.

' _Why did you look at me like that?_ '

Unfortunately I.. focused too hard. I ended up actually sending her the thought telepathically. Stupid.. stupid _stupid_.

She stood up in shock and looked at me, evidently and understandably a little frightened. "U-um.. I.." she stuttered as her face reddened. I winced at my own stupidity, feeling ashamed and panicked for causing her distress.

Trying to quickly remedy the situation and prevent her from growing upset I waved my hands in front of me and bowed my head slightly "S-sorry, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to do that..!"

Jasmine pouted and took a deep breath in "I-if you.. want to a-ask me something, you need only ask. I uh.." she paused to collect herself "We're um.. f-friends, right?"

Friends? I guess.. we were. I sighed to myself and rubbed my temple. "I really am sorry.. I wanted to ask you.. w-why you looked so sad earlier. After what Erika said."

From the point I communicated telepathically until now, she had probably figured out what I meant anyway.. but I think she appreciated my attempt to fix things. She breathed in deeply again to calm herself further and sat back down again, trying to keep a smile on her face.

Both of us seemingly found casual communication a lot more difficult without Erika there as our social anchor.

"It's nothing important.. I was just w-worried when Erika implied she was dating because.. w-well you always seemed to really like her. I was worried she was dating.. someone besides y-you."

I blinked. "You.. thought I liked her?"

"Y-yes! Uh.. do you not?" Jasmine still seemed a little stressed out by the conversation, so I tried to tone down my inquisitive intonation.

"To be honest, I had no idea I liked her until just last week." I scratched my cheek, a little embarrassed. Jasmine's eyes widened curiously and she opened her mouth to say something. Eventually she responded.

"U-um.. if you don't mind my asking, how did you realise?"

I smiled sheepishly as I thought back to just last week, which already felt like forever ago. "Uh.. long story short, Erika told me we should date, and then she kissed me."

Jasmine held a hand over her mouth and blushed. "That's.. _CUTE_." she squeaked excitedly. I laughed a little at her reaction - gradually the air around our conversation felt more relaxed.

"So why were you worried that Erika was dating someone else?" I still didn't understand Jasmine's concern for something that had nothing to do with her, though the very idea that Erika could date someone else did cause a twinge of jealousy inside me.

"B-.. um.. because I thought it would make you sad if that happened?" Jasmine awkwardly rubbed her own shoulder "I was just scared it would really hurt you."

She was right that it would hurt.. but more than anything I was taken aback by her sympathy. "H-huh.." I stared down at the table and avoided eye contact with her. I still wasn't used to receiving this kind of understanding from others and didn't expect it to come from someone I had met through Erika.

Either way it seemed like both Erika and Jasmine knew I had feelings for Erika before I did. In all my years of effort to understand myself and my issues, some basic things still escaped me.

"Are you.. o-okay?" Jasmine piped up "I apologise if I said something strange.." I looked back at her and sighed. She was still rubbing her shoulder.

"No, no.. I'm happy. I actually just.. I'm a little surprised that you afforded me that kind of care and understanding, even though we do not know each other very well." I smiled at her awkwardly and she pouted.

"S-Sabrina.. we _are_ friends.. aren't we? I care about y.. th-this kind of thing. Your happiness is important to me." she abruptly stood up and made herself walk over to me. Alarmed, my eyes followed her.

"L-look.." she pulled out a small scrap of paper and scribbled on it quickly "M-my phone number. Calling Johto from Kanto isn't expensive so.. if you ever want to talk I would be happy to as well."

I took the number and blinked. Admittedly I was trying to think of an objection, but I couldn't. I don't even know why I wanted to object. "Th.. thank you, Jasmine. You're very kind."

"Sabrina.. we're not just friends because Erika said we should be. If it's okay with you, I-I'd like us to be friends just because we get along and I care about you. Not just me.. the other Trainers we spend time with. I bet m-many of them care about you too."

I found it hard to make eye contact with her again but I forced myself and smiled at her gently. I was so embarrassed that this younger girl was so emotionally aware compared to me, but I was truly grateful to her.

"I'm.. glad I met you, Jasmine. You're a wonderful person.. and I hope we'll continue to be friends." I beamed at her after mustering up the courage to speak my mind. Jasmine smiled back at me sweetly and rubbed her stressed out eyes with her arm before returning to her seat.

I realised that maybe Jasmine was a little like me. She found meaningful social interaction a little overwhelming at times. I ripped off a bit of the paper and scribbled my own phone number on it, quickly passing it to Jasmine with a grin.

A short while later, Erika finally returned carrying a tray of tea. Jasmine and I were happily chatting away between ourselves and our Pokémon.

"Sorry I took so long.." Erika sighed wistfully with her hand to her cheek "The tea may be a little bit cold.. I got so distracted.." but she brightened up when she saw that Jasmine and I were talking to each other more comfortably. She sat down next to me again and gently ruffled my hair.

"You know I like my hair to stay straight.." I pouted and jokingly shoved her with my shoulder. Erika giggled and decided she'd try sorting out the mess she'd made with my hair.

"Um.. What distracted you?" Jasmine asked Erika as she drank down some tea.

"Oh.." Erika went a little red and fiddled with the handle of her cup "To be honest I'm a little embarrassed.. I thought I heard a hum of unfamiliar Bug Pokémon wings on my way back here.. so I put the tea tray down and rushed off to the trees to see if there really were Heracross living around here now."

I laughed "That's so like you, Erika." to which she pouted.

"But I let the tea get cold! I should have rushed back with the tea first."  
"It's not a big deal" I teasingly ruffled her hair back "It's not about the tea. It's about us having a chance to take it easy once a week, right?"

Erika huffed as she tried to fix her own hair but Jasmine nodded, grinning at me. "She's right! And by the way Erika, if you want to more easily see Pokémon that live in the trees you may need to have your Pokémon use a Headbutt attack on them."

Erika sighed and smiled sheepishly "I don't want to disturb them, really.. besides, none of my Pokémon are hard-headed like that."

"We'll have to invite Whitney next time, then..." I joked calmly. Erika nudged me with her elbow "Oi.. rude." but Jasmine covered her mouth and snorted quietly from across the table. I let myself laugh too, but Erika resisted the urge, huffing a smile instead.

The morning breezed by quickly and before I knew it it was back to work. I once again found myself eagerly awaiting the weekend, or next week's tea meet, but I was really happy with how the past week had gone.

Actually, wow.. did all of that really happen in just one week?

"I miss her laugh.." I mused to myself that evening as I closed up the Gym, remembering that she hadn't laughed much today.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Excitedly expecting it to be Erika or perhaps Jasmine, I bolted to the video phone and answered.

Once again though my excitement clouded my foresight, I was surprised to see none other than the President of Silph Co. on the line.

"Good evening Miss Sabrina! I do hope I'm not interrupting?" the kindly and polite President appeared to be chipper as always.

He and the company had rebounded surprisingly quickly, both in the public eye and in terms of productivity, following the aftermath of the Rocket takeover last year.

"You have caught me at a good time, actually Mr. President. What can I do for you?" I responded with a polite smile.

"After our previous collaboration with you on your Gym and other City infrastructure improvements, we think you would be perfect to test our new upcoming item in the field before we move ahead to the full release."

"Oh? I'm listening." This was different. I had been living in the same city as the Silph HQ for years now, but while I was acquainted with the President this was the first time he had come directly to me to help with a product.

The President held up a large, complex-looking handheld device.. then placed it on his wrist, almost like he was advertising it to me.

"This is the Pokégear, an advanced and convenient tool for Pokémon Trainers. We hope it make it a must-have item in the coming year or so and plan to begin advertising it over the winter."

"It looks a little.. heavy, for a watch." I snarked. This was the product he wanted me to test out? I admittedly wasn't huge on things like gadgets.

"It is surprisingly light-weight and makes up for its size with its sheer number of handy features! It has a phone and a map and even a radio!" The President excitedly shilled.

"A phone, hm? That would have come in handy earlier today actually." I thought back to Erika being so easily distracted by the possibility of seeing a wild Heracross.

"We were hoping you would test the product out in your day to day life. We will even supply extras that you can give to your friends to try! Other Gym Leaders and strong Trainers preferably."

I rolled my eyes a little to which he bowed apologetically. Why me? Sure I have friends NOW, but I'm hardly a social Butterfree. I crossed my arms.

"I'm interested, but why me? Surely other Gym Leaders who are more into tech, like Blaine, or stronger Trainers like the Elite Four or the Champion, would be better choices?"

The President poked his fingers together sheepishly "Y-yes well.. yes.. we have sent some out to the Indigo League and did hope to get the Champion on board, but we haven't had any luck contacting them, even through Lance.."

I raised an eyebrow. The Champion was a weird kid, but I had assumed they would love something like this.

"And Blaine is uh.. well, he always laughs heartily then insists that our products should focus on the younger generation rather than.. ahem.. 'washed up old fogeys' like him."

Blaine was one of the Gym Leaders I had scarcely ever interacted with. He seemed like a cheerful enough man, but there was an air of mystery about him too. He sounded like a tough one to read.

"That's not important though, and does not to detract from your own qualities for the test Miss Sabrina!" The President continued.

"The simple fact is, you are an especially popular Kanto Gym Leader, both in the media and among young people. If I may be so bold, I envision your promotion of the Pokégear on magazine covers and TV and the like would do a marvellous job at making our new product the talk of Kanto and Johto!"

I heaved my shoulders and rolled my eyes again at the idea that I was 'popular'. It was true that myself, Misty and Surge were the Kanto Gym Leaders most commonly seen on TV and in magazines, but I still never felt like my apparent popularity in the media was real or earned.

"Fine." I tapped my arm irritably, but the President seemed happy that he'd won me over. "And I'll distribute some models to my peers as you suggested. How are you planning on tackling Johto?" as I imagined he didn't expect me to advertise in Johto too.

"Pokégear shipments to Johto are already well underway and all channels are being smoothly handled by our talented shipment manager Mr. Petrel. We have actually asked Lance to handle promotion in Johto." Lance? This surprised me.

"We initially hoped to have his cousin Clair handle it.. she is a very popular Gym Leader among young people in Johto but was not at all receptive. She quickly shut down all our attempts to contact her.

Lance was a lot more forthcoming, and seeing as he is from Blackthorn City anyway we decided he would be popular and influential enough to popularise the product over there in the end."

"I see." Lance apparently had his work cut out for him. I had never actually met Lance in person, but to say he was popular would be an understatement.

"If that will be all Mr. President, please send them to my Gym at your convenience. If I am not in for some reason, feel free to leave the package with the Fighting Dojo next door instead."

"I thought you were still not on good terms with the Dojo?"

"I'm not. Good night, Mr. President." He gave a small bow in thanks and I gave a quick wave before I hung up, finally worn out from all his chatter.

Normally a conversation like that would leave me pretty grumpy, but part of me was excited by the idea that I could soon have Erika and Jasmine's phone numbers at my fingertips.


	12. (Pokégear)

_**(Notes: This chapter was a lot of fun to write and I got to introduce Sabrina's awkward relationship with the Fighting Dojo, which is something I'd been wanting to do for a while! Writing how Erika and Sabrina interact with others as a couple is tons of fun too.**_

 _ **The next chapter is pretty pivotal and another of my favourites, look forward to it!**_

 _ **PS. I'm just so glad for the HM Fly!)**_

* * *

Understandably, I was busy dealing with Silph Co. and their.. generous, shipment of Pokégears, during the weekend following my call with the company President.

Luckily for me, Erika was so keen for us to spend time together that she came along to Saffron anyway, excited to see what Silph had gotten me roped into.

"Ever the popular one Sabrina.. I'll be sure to buy a copy of whichever magazine you grace your cool presence with." I gave her a tired stare "Don't make a habit of it.. I still don't like seeing myself on magazine covers." but she just giggled it off.

"I'm glad you came though, Erika. The Silph package ended up being delivered to the old Fighting Dojo next door and I don't particularly enjoy dealing with them."

"Still? Some things never change." Erika sighed and rubbed my back reassuringly as she followed me to the run-down old Fighting Type Dojo next to my Gym. I gathered my composure and knocked.

One of the Karate King's students answered and bowed. "Gym Leader Sabrina, we have been expecting you."

"Hideki, was it?" I replied coolly "I must apologise that the Silph Co. offloaded such a large delivery on the Dojo." It really was irksome. I was home all day and the company still delivered the items next door. _Why_.

"Yes. There are.." Hideki looked behind him inside the Dojo. "Quite a lot of boxes. You may need to come in."

Following Hideki's invitation I made my way inside, followed closely by Erika. She was dressed for the gloomy weather in a dark blue kimono for a change, and was using her fan to keep the humidity at bay. As we made our way over to the neat pile of boxes, a particularly loud and stuffy presence made his way towards us.

"Kiyo." I nodded at him and looked to his other students, of which there were now only three. "I trust you have been well, though your Dojo seems to have shed students since we last met. Apologies for any inconvenience this delivery caused."

"Hah hah _hah_! As cold as ever I see, Sabrina?" he confidently and loudly declared. "Fear not, no inconvenience compares to the time you disgraced-"

"Geeze Sabrina, how many of these things did they send?"

Thankfully, his likely rant about my clean defeat of his Gym was interrupted when he noticed Erika with me, attempting to lift a few boxes of Pokégears. There must have been at least a dozen boxes packed to the brim with the gadgets.

"You're not very appropriately dressed for manual labour.." I grinned at Erika.  
"You hush." Erika snapped jokingly "I bet I can carry more than you anyway!"

"Oho! Lady Erika!" Kiyo chimed in surprise "It's been a long time! What brings you here today?"

Erika beamed at Kiyo. I rolled my eyes. "I'm flattered you remember me, Master Kiyo! I'm just here because these troublesome packages are taking Sabrina's attention away from me today."

I pouted "Hey, they're annoying me more than anyone okay.." Erika grinned at me and ruffled my hair. "Erika!" I whimpered, using my telekinesis to quickly neaten my hair again and hoping Kiyo didn't notice.

Kiyo laughed "Ho _ho_! So the insurmountable psychic queen _does_ have a weakness!"

"Don't call me that." I grimaced "Even with Erika here I could wipe the floor with your old-fashioned Gym any day."

"Aaanyway~!" Erika clapped, trying to distract us again "Master Kiyo, do you have any interest in the Pokégear?" I shot Erika an irritated look.

"Hmm?" The bass of Kiyo's voice vibrated the entire room. "What's a.. 'Pokégear'?"

"It's a handheld gadget for Pokémon Trainers that has a phone, map and radio built in. It seems like it could be quite useful!" Erika kept up her cheery tone in order to lighten the otherwise tense atmosphere.

"Ah! Us karate experts have no need for such toys!" Kiyo laughed heartily with his hands on his hips.

"A backwards-looking attitude like that is one of the reasons you lost the official Gym title and will not be getting it back." I stated coldly. I heard Kiyo grumbling and noticed Erika roll her eyes at me.

I was really about ready to leave now. As I moved towards the boxes, Erika bowed politely to Kiyo. "Well, if you or your students ever need a Pokégear, your neighbour has more than enough to spare! We should be going now."

Erika picked up a pile of boxes. "Would you like any help with all that?" Kiyo asked. "My students and I would be more than happy to assist!"

I effortlessly picked up the rest of the stacks with my telekinesis and winked at Erika "You bet you could carry more than me, eh? And, no thank you, Kiyo." I responded nonchalantly and waved a single hand as I turned towards the door "Good day to you all."

"Don't be a stranger, Gym Leader Sabrina!" Kiyo and his students bowed to us as we left.

Erika and I headed next door. When we arrived in my Gym, Erika set her boxes down gently and elbowed me in the rib. "O-ow!" I lost focus and dropped some of the boxes I was levitating.

"You're so mean!" Erika pouted in my face. "I hadn't really seen the cold psychic queen Sabrina before.. admittedly it was really cool, but you could stand to be a little nicer to your neighbours."

"Don't call me that.." I rubbed the back of my head timidly. "Are you mad?"

Erika shook her head and pinched my cheek. "No.. but you're my Sabrina and I don't want you making yourself or others miserable. Master Kiyo always seemed like a nice person, his students seem nice too."

I shrugged "You don't know them like I do. Kiyo was seething with passive aggression towards me the whole time we were there. My aggression was just more unapologetically direct, is all."

Erika put her hands on her hips and sighed. "Okay but.. if you're nicer to them it may benefit all of you. They _are_ your neighbours after all. You hurt their pride all those years ago so maybe you can ease their pain by being a friend to them."

A friend? To them? "Tch. You're too nice sweetie." I sighed "I'll try." I rubbed her shoulder before setting to unboxing some of those Pokégears.

"Feel free to take a bunch of them, Erika. You see the other Gym Leaders more regularly than I do." I set aside a few boxes "They really are offloading tons of these on me huh."

Erika giggled and fixed a pink and white Pokégear on her wrist. "All right, how does this work? Have you played with one yet?" she switched it on and began fiddling with the menus as I shuffled next to her to watch. "Ooh, this is actually pretty neat!" she exclaimed.

I picked a dark blue and white Pokégear and began to mess with it myself. "Oh hey Sabrina, you can sync up your phone number with this!" Erika quickly plugged in my number on her gear as I scrambled to catch up. "Geez, are you secretly a tech-whiz Erika?" Erika giggled "No no nothing like that, it's exciting to think about how convenient these could be though!"

Within minutes she was dialling my number with the gear on her wrist. Sure enough, my own Pokégear received the call quickly. "Okay, it works." I quickly concluded.

"Hello, is this Sabrina?" Erika chimed into her gear.  
"Yes.. it's me. I'm right here." I huffed at my silly girlfriend.  
"Ooh! It really is Sabrina, I'm a big fan! You're a real hottie!" Erika could barely contain her laughter.  
" _Erika!_ " I squeaked, a little red in the face as Erika continued to laugh and snort infectiously.

Before we really got to spend any time together, Erika was headed off home for the evening. She only took a couple boxes with her but it was probably all she needed. I kept most of the boxes in my Gym in case Silph decided it needed like.. a mass recall or something.

I messed with my new Pokégear a little, and smiled as I saw Erika and Jasmine's names on my numbers list.

I tried out the radio too. it was surprisingly good quality, but I didn't really listen to the radio in general. My psychic powers usually interfered with the signal too much anyway.. so nevermind.

I finished the week in a mostly good mood. Despite my inevitable clash of wills with Kiyo, Erika being around really lifted my spirits and helped me to avoid growing angry.. even if I didn't get to spend much time with her at all.

...

The weather was getting colder, windier and wetter - which meant our opportunities for social gatherings were getting more scarce.

Our tea morning the Wednesday after the Pokégear delivery wasn't entirely pleasant. The weather was grey and windy but Erika insisted on having tea with everyone at Celadon Fountain anyway.

"Are you sure you need to bother?" I gave Erika a concerned glance. She shrugged her shoulders and smiled sheepishly at me, as if she were forcing herself to be a good host.

Whitney had hopped on the train from Goldenrod to see us and Misty had cycled over from Cerulean, but Jasmine ended up stayed home to keep Amphy company during the increasingly stormy weather.

"I'm here for my Pokégear!" Misty panted after rushing through the unpleasant weather, holding her hands out expectantly "I'm honestly a little hurt that Silph entrusted you with these new gadgets rather than a hip young star like me."

"Oi.. mind your manners." I smirked as I showed off my own Pokégear, which was beginning to feel more at home on my wrist "Do you want one or not?"

Misty giggled cheekily "Do I have to say please?"

Whitney slammed her hands on the table "What gives anyway!? Why do you all have Pokégears already!? That's _actually_ pretty unfair, no one in Johto does yet!"

"That's strange." I tilted my head. "Lance was supposed to be helping to distribute them to Johto's Gym Leaders."

"LANCE!?" Whitney yelped "As in, _THE_ Lance!? Ohh my _Arceus_!" she clapped her hands to her cheeks and dragged them down her face melodramatically.

"Yes, that Lance. Still, I have tons of spares so you can have one if you like."

"Nooo _way_! Like hell am I going to pass up a chance to meet Lance! Holy Miltank!"

I chuckled and smiled gently "I have to admit, I'm a little jealous. I've never had the pleasure of meeting him myself."

"Never?" Erika side-eyed me "Really? I've met him, he's nice!"  
"Of course you have, my little social Butterfree." I smirked at her. She pouted and returned to her tea.

"If you two are done flirting." Misty interjected and held out her hands again after installing her own Pokégear on her wrist "Brock asked me to bring him a Pokégear too. I should probably be heading back anyway, this weather is perfect for fishing so I'd rather be at Cerulean Cape right now. Ehm.. sorry, Erika."

"Why didn't Brock come here himself?" I handed Misty a few spare Pokégears as Erika joked "Does he not want to see me?"

"He said something about the Diglett being restless in this weather.. so he didn't want to take the Tunnel."

"I dunno about him, but I'm really glad for The HM Fly." Whitney scoffed.

Misty laughed as she climbed back onto her bike. "He's never been a big fan of Flying Types.. he finds them too weak."

"Don't let the Violet City Gym Leader hear him say that.." Whitney joked as she sighed and got ready to leave herself. "Sorry guys, the weather really is garbage. I've got a hot date with the TV and a stash of cookies and milk."

I waved quietly as the two hotheads darted through the wind back in the direction of Saffron City. Erika sighed wistfully and began to pack up. I wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Erika sighed again, standing up "I'm sorry, Sabrina. This must have felt like a waste of time to you."

I blinked "Don't be daft, I got to see you. You're the one who worked so hard despite the weather anyway."  
"Hm.. maybe I shouldn't have." Erika smiled at me sadly and pecked my cheek. "Thanks sweetie. You should get home too before you catch a cold."

The meetup got cut short in the end. The lousy weather dampened the mood and Erika ended up feeling like she had wasted everyone's time.

She called my Pokégear later that evening to apologise again. I insisted that if the weather was bad again she just shouldn't force herself, but she seemed weirdly apologetic.

As was to be expected, the next few weeks weren't much better. We did see Jasmine at one point in the month but other than that things were too cold and windy to really enjoy sitting outside drinking tea.

"Um.. d-do you two have any Pokégears to spare?" Jasmine asked on another quiet autumn Wednesday. "I f-figured I'd pick one up while I'm here."

I frowned in confusion as I handed her one. "Still no sign of Lance?"

"N-no.." Jasmine responded. "Whitney is getting very impatient.. I don't particularly feel an urge to meet with Lance myself though. It would make me a little nervous a-anyway." she shrugged timidly. Erika and I giggled.

The Pokégears were admittedly very handy. It became much easier for Erika to painlessly coordinate and let people know whether she was bothering to host or not. It wasn't long before she was feeling more optimistic and cheerful again, but the weather was unlikely to get much better any time soon.


	13. (Winter)

_**(Notes: Keeping warm in the winter? This calls for fluff (and other things).**_

 _ **YEP, THAT HAPPENED..**_ _ **Poor Sabrina.**_

 _ **This chapter is one of the major ones I'd been building to for ages, I feel so satisfied having finished it and I think I really like how it turned out. I feel like I'm getting better at character interaction too and I hope it was nice to have a glimpse into the personalities of some other Gym Leaders!)**_

* * *

Fortunately, Erika and I still made the time to see each other relatively often despite the worsening weather. We met up for noodles in Celadon City a few times at the weekends and if we couldn't meet we would at least call. Living just one city apart was certainly a blessing.

Erika was eager to show me that even if we weren't able to meet for tea, that didn't mean we would be spending a lot less time together. She told me that she didn't want me developing 'cabin fever' by keeping to myself - like I used to - during the cold season.

I appreciated it though, I was admittedly still not at all assertive. I don't think she knew yet how much I adored spending time with her or how much I looked forward to it all the time.

This was partially my own fault for sometimes letting my rooted introverted habits get the better of me. There were a few evenings besides Wednesday or the weekend when Erika had invited me to her place, but I was still so stuck to my schedules that I either declined or took a lot of persuading. And even if I did accept, I would become anxious and not the best company for her.

That said I had certainly become more sociable over all.. and I did tell her I appreciated her attempts too. The thought of holing up in my Gym all winter and seeing no other people besides challengers didn't even cross my mind, even though that used to be the norm for me.

Gradually, I could feel myself becoming more comfortable with the idea of spending time with her for the sake of spending time with her.

Erika made that easier for me by being such a comforting presence in my life. In the cold weather she would wrap the arms of her kimono around me and we would cuddle. We would drink tea or hot chocolate with just each other and our Pokémon as company. Sometimes for hours and hours.

Still, our time together wasn't always smooth sailing either. Certain.. things happened, which rekindled some ugly memories and fears from years past.

As autumn turned to winter, one Wednesday was particularly stormy. I hadn't seen Erika in over a week though, and was determined to make the trip anyway. Obviously, no one else was meeting for tea, so I headed directly to Celadon Gym instead.

Erika greeted me with a concerned smile "I'm happy to see you but.. you're so drenched you almost look like something out of a horror movie. I hope you don't get sick.." she held her arms out for me.

I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly and walked into her embrace - but only briefly. "I'd rather not soak your nice kimono."

Erika giggled. She would normally say something like 'I don't mind', but she was probably used to me caring too much about this kind of thing by now. "Let's get you dried off then."

As the wind and rain thrashed against the Gym's windows we sat huddled together, mostly in silence while our Pokémon played or napped in the warmth of the Gym's living area. Even with the lights on, it was so dark and grey outside that it felt dim inside. Erika was sat behind me with her arms around my torso as my head lay comfortably on her shoulder.

"Sorry if you had to close the Gym for me today."  
Erika pecked my cheek affectionately and gave me a squeeze. "It's fine.. I usually close on Wednesday morning anyway.. and only hot-headed Trainers like the Champion would want to challenge me on days like this. This is much nicer than seeing challengers."

I nuzzled my head against hers'. "Mm.. Gyms are definitely quieter on days like this anyway huh." and she was right, this was nice. But..

The weather wasn't letting up. In fact, it was getting severely unpleasant. Yucky. Miserable. The warmth of bundling up with Erika and drinking hot drinks together was the only thing keeping my anxiety at bay.

We must have fallen asleep on each other at some point, because I distinctly remember being jolted back into reality by a loud thunder strike. "A-ah..!"

I rubbed my head and slightly aching neck, feeling a little embarrassed by my own reaction, but to my relief Erika was still laying asleep against my back.

"Uugh my hair is a mess.." I groaned. I gave her hand a little squeeze to see if she would wake up. "A-aren't you uncomfortable sleeping like that..?"

Erika stirred and mumbled, squeezing my hand back as she realised I was here. "Mm.. aren't you?" she pecked the back of my head and sleepily let go of me, giving me space to stand up and stretch my limbs. "Sleeping sat like that can't be good for me.." I huffed. Erika giggled as she stretched herself a little, like a sleepy Skitty.

I looked out the windows. It was getting dark. "I should think about getting home.." I mumbled regrettably as the blood returned to my legs. Erika stood up and followed me. "In this weather? I think you should stay here instead." she hummed as she lullingly slinked her arms around my hips from behind.

I blushed and tried to object. "No I'll be okay. I can use telekinesis to keep the weather off me and I've already taken so much of your day."

Erika shook her head and nuzzled my hair. "There's plenty of food.. and you'll get to keep your girlfriend company in this scary weather."

I pouted. "As _if_ this scares you.." I turned around to face her. "Stay with me anyway, please? I want you to.." Erika pouted back as she held me close.

"I-I.. if you insist." I sighed nervously. "I do!" Erika grinned. "I'm going to make more tea and then some food for us!" she pinched my cheek then excitedly bounced off to the kitchen area. I went to keep the Pokémon company while she was busy.

She really.. did want me to stay with her, didn't she..

By now, Erika and I had cooked for each other a few times. Her cooking was a lot more.. passionate than mine. Expressive. Packed with flavour.

It probably sounds cliché for our cooking to be so reflective of our selves, but it makes sense when you consider how well she knows her plants. Herbs and spices were child's play to her and she threw together meals that were a delight to the senses.

As always, it was delicious and warmed me from head to toe. If it wasn't obvious, I much preferred Erika's cooking to my own.. eating her food made me feel cherished and cared for.

I beamed at her as I finished, my cheeks warming up with a hearty contented pink, and she beamed back. "Since you're hosting me.. I'm going to wash the dishes." I declared and got up.

"Noo, don't you dare!" Erika tried to chase after me but I held my finger out to her in objection. "Don't worry, it's a special treat!"

I casually leant on the kitchen counter with my back to the sink as the dishes rose and danced with the brushes and soap in the air behind me, cleaning themselves effortlessly. I smirked at Erika and giggled confidently.

Erika's eyes lit up, her mouth took a small "o" shape and she clapped quietly. "You _show-off_! Here I thought you didn't like using your powers like that!" she snorted.

I tilted my head and continued to grin at her with my eyes lidded. "I don't.. but after seeing your reaction maybe I don't mind doing it for you."

Erika went red and fanned herself. I laughed as I carefully set the clean dishes back down with my telekinesis.

The evening was going really smoothly for the most part, but Erika was determined to not let me show her up, I guess.

"I'll take the floor." I stated with intent, as we decided to call it a day and head to bed. Comfort was not something I found particularly important. Besides, just sleeping under the same roof as Erika was extremely comforting.

"No? You'll take my futon." Erika declared, putting her hands on her hips bossily and walking up close to me.

"Uh.. that doesn't seem fair. What about you? Do you have any spares?" I raised an eyebrow with concern.

"I'll be taking my futon, too." Erika smirked. Her eyes took that mischievous shape as she smoothly backed me against the bedroom wall. She giggled flirtily as she gripped my sleeve and kissed my jaw ardently.

I opened my mouth to say something, but obviously nothing came out besides maybe some choked, flustered squeaks. My body temperature bubbled up rapidly until my head felt as hot as a Magmar - and I'm pretty sure my hair was stood up completely straight.

She seductively traced her finger along my collarbone as her lidded eyes stared into mine. "Is that a yes then, my cute Sabrina?"

My eyes were completely trapped in hers'. All I could muster was a meek but eager nod before she buried her lips in mine, gripping and tugging me breathlessly towards her futon as we kissed.

...

I spent the next few days mercilessly taking down challengers and nursing a particularly bad headache. Maybe it was caused by the cold, but it certainly wasn't helped by the feeling of shame that danced around my head since Thursday morning.

Erika called me every day.. and visited me over the weekend.. offering me words of reassurance and comfort. I didn't want to show her my red face. I didn't want to leave my Gym. I buried my eyes in my arms and mumbled as she rubbed my back and assured me it was okay. That I didn't do anything wrong.

 _UGH_.

Sometimes, I truly detest my psychic abilities. It had been ages since my last 'episode' and I had hoped that.. now I had Erika.. now I was being more sociable.. I would no longer become so mentally overwhelmed that I lost control of my powers.

Instead.. I made an utter fool of myself during what was supposed to be the most romantic night of my life so far.

"What's worse is.. I did it to _Erika again_. I caused damage to her Gym with my powers _again_ , just like I did back then." I vented meekly to Alakazam one evening, as tears trickled down my cheeks.

Of course, I didn't bring up 'back then' to Erika. The past was the past, right? I didn't want to remind her of that time no matter what. Why? I pretended I wasn't scared of the past any more, but it was becoming more evident that I was.

She still tried to assure me "It's really not a big deal.. Sabrina, it's okay. No one was hurt and you didn't damage anything important." She insisted.

But it wasn't _just_ that!  
"I let you down." I repeated to her ad nauseam. "I let you down!"

It was so important to me. Doing it right was so important to me. Impressing her was _so important to me_.

"It was actually kind of fun?" Erika giggled comfortingly as she rubbed my back and ran a hand through my hair. "The futon floating us up into the air like that.. then flopping back to the ground. It was exciting!"

I refused to look at her. "Please.. don't remind me. I'm serious." I groaned irritably, my head stinging as I remembered the loud abrupt 'THUMP' that humiliatingly concluded the first time I had ever slept with someone.

...

Ever my knight in a glistening kimono though, Erika devised other ways to get my mind off of last week - with a little convenient help.

"Thanks for trying Erika, but I don't think I'm going to get over this any time soon.." I rubbed my temple when she called me on Monday evening.

"Actually!" Erika clapped her hands together optimistically "I called because we _are_ going to do tea on Wednesday.. just at Celadon Dept. Store's inside food court rather than outside in the cold.

I raised an eyebrow. "... Why?"

"I got a pretty urgent call from Janine this morning, it sounds like she needs help with something and is hoping to talk to some Gym Leaders about it this week, weather permitting."

This was different, but sufficiently distracting. As I headed to Celadon Dept. Store on Wednesday, my head was more curious about what Janine needed help with than it was dominated by my personal disaster last week.

It was early and there was fresh snow on the ground. Commuters and Trainers were largely still asleep, but even though it was dark the snow seemed to glow brightly for miles around.

Celadon City's roads were caked in it. Each step I made was greeted with a pleasant crunching sound of the snow beneath my boots. I realised that it had been years since I'd walked through snow like this.

"Lorelei would love this weather!" Erika waved to me as I approached Celadon Dept. Store, which was already open and lit up, illuminating the snow out in front of it. Koga's daughter, Janine, was standing with Erika and waved meekly at me.

"Will she be making an appearance?" I lifted an eyebrow, I still had never formally met an Elite Four member.

Erika laughed as we made our way to the indoor food court. I'll take that as a no then. Janine remained quiet.

A short while later, a small party of Gym Leaders had gathered in the food court. A larger group than normal, despite the weather. Jasmine was there, as was Misty, Surge and a couple of people I was unfamiliar with.

"I don't think anyone else is going to turn up." Erika clapped and stood up. She was always so good at taking point in these kinds of things with a clear and confident intonation. "I'll quickly introduce everyone, then Janine can begin."

She briefly motioned to the Kantonian Gym Leaders. "Misty, Lt. Surge and Sabrina probably need no introduction, they're all quite famous as far as Kanto Trainers go." I nodded quietly while Misty and Surge both waved confidently. Surge's loud presence was only really overshadowed by one other person, an intimidating man I didn't know.

"This is Olivine City's Gym Leader, Jasmine." Jasmine smiled nervously "Over here we have Azalea Town's Gym Leader, Bugsy." the young purple-haired boy I didn't know nodded cheerfully.

"And last but certainly not least, the Elite Four's Bruno." Erika bowed quickly at the man with the intimidatingly powerful presence and some of the other Gym Leaders did too, myself included. What was an Elite Four member like him doing out here!?

"Aren't you cold?" Misty fearlessly asked the completely shirtless Bruno with her arms crossed. Bruno smiled softly and shook his head. "It helps me to keep my mind focused."

Erika clapped her hands again, once more taking attention and preventing idle chatter. "Right.. Janine, if you'd like to begin?"

"Y-yeah! Sure!" Janine stood up and slammed her hands on the table. "Oh, whoops. Too hard." she straightened her back and put her hand on the table more gently this time. "A-as you probably know, I'm Janine, daughter of Fuchsia City's Gym Leader Koga."

"Most of you already know why we're here today, but long story short Fuchsia City's Safari Zone will be closing down for good soon."

My eyes widened in surprise. The Safari Zone had been Fuchsia City's biggest tourist attraction for as long as I could remember.

"The old Safari Zone Warden, Mr. Baoba.." Janine continued.

"Is he retiring due to the cold weather?" Bugsy interjected curiously.

"Are you nuts? A little cold couldn't keep old Warden Slowpoke down!" Janine responded spiritedly "He's actually just bored! He's bored of Fuchsia City, he's bored of Kanto!" Janine pouted, now seeming a little upset. "All the Pokémon appearing from Johto and other parts of Japan have left him hungering for greener pastures."

"Most of you I called here because you're passionate about Pokémon conservation and habitats.. I want to do something to keep the Safari Zone alive."

"Why isn't Koga here himself?" I asked coolly, trying to make sense of what Janine was so panicked about.

"I-I don't know!" Janine responded irritably. "It's like he doesn't care. He seemed so at peace with Baoba's decision and told me that if I care so much I should take matters into my own hands.. but I just thought he would care more about Fuchsia City's legacy."

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Bruno smiling to himself.

Janine sat down "Phew!" and took a big swig of tea. Silence filled the room again.

"S-so um.. what would you like is to do, M-miss Janine?" Jasmine asked awkwardly, evidently still unsure of why exactly we were here.

"Oh!" Janine stood up again. "W-well.. in order to keep the Safari Zone alive, I was hoping Kanto and Johto's Gym Leaders could help inspire Mr. Baoba to continue his work.. I'll be helping him with whatever he decides, but we may need a lot of help if he decides to set up a park in Johto for example."

"Johto's ecosystem is really interesting!" Bugsy exclaimed excitedly "I'm sure there will be somewhere there that inspires him!"

"So what, you just want us to help Baoba research Johto's wildlife and eventually help him move locations?" Misty asked, still confused. "Something like that.." Erika replied to Misty softly.

"Whatever I can do to help old man Slowpoke, just say the word and I'm there." Surge grinned. "His efforts to keep rare Pokémon thriving are an inspiration."

Inspiration, huh. Surge was inspired by this kind of thing, too?

Janine beamed at everyone, clearly relieved. "Thank you.. thank you all. I want to do whatever I can to keep Fuchsia's legacy alive, for the City's sake and for my dad's sake!"

Misty walked up to Janine and ruffled her hair. "You worry too much Janine, you didn't need to plan a big meeting like this just to ask for a little help!"

"H-hey!" Janine pouted. "I'm older than you!"

Everyone eventually trickled back home while some of us stayed behind to chat. Call it schadenfreude if you will, but it was admittedly relieving to see that other powerful Trainers had things that kept them awake at night too. Plus it was nice to have a new project of sorts to help keep my mind looking ahead.

In the end, only a few of us were left. Erika, Janine and myself were chatting together while Bruno quietly drank tea. Bruno had remained quiet most of the time he was here, but after finishing his tea he stood up and spoke to Janine as he made his way out.

"Miss Janine.. be assured that your father does care about the Safari Zone." he smiled at her warmly. "He is a busy man. He may not say this to you directly, but I am confident that he simply wishes for you to prove to yourself and Kanto that you have the drive to accomplish great things and become a powerful and influential Trainer.. even without his help."

Janine's mouth quivered slightly at his words of reassurance, but quickly hid it as she bowed deeply to Bruno. Bruno waved to us all and left silently.

Erika and I said our goodbyes to Janine too, who vanished into the snow without leaving any footprints.

"Sometimes I forgot she's a real ninja." I said with a completely straight face. Erika laughed.

Out the corner of my eye I noticed a young boy sulking out of Celadon Dept. Store too. "Was that... Blue?" Erika whispered. "I was just thinking it looked like him." I scratched my head. "Arceus, what's he been doing since he lost the Champion title anyway?" I asked, but Erika just shrugged.

"So.. what do you think about this Safari Zone problem?" I asked Erika, trying to make conversation. I still wasn't really sure why Erika invited me. Compared to everyone else there, I didn't know much about Pokémon habitats or conservation efforts.

"It's important to me." Erika said. I wasn't at all surprised. "Celebrating the natural world. Giving humans a chance to see and understand rare Pokémon from all over the place." she looked up at the low winter sun. "I want to do what I can, to help people understand nature and Pokémon."

Then she turned to me and smiled sweetly. "What about you?"

"Why did you invite me?"

"I invited you because you would have wanted me to."

I looked down at the morning sun hitting the bright white snow beneath my feet for a few moments and rubbed Erika's hand with my thumb.

"I don't know much about nature. I have never paid it much mind or understood it, but.. your wondrous passion for these things moves me deeply. It makes me long to see the world through your eyes. When I think about how beautiful the world must look to you.. I _want_ to understand."

I smiled sheepishly "It's been that way since we were kids."

Erika looked to me as if she wanted to say something but closed her mouth and smiled gently instead, squeezing my hand. I smiled fondly back at her.

"You're.. the best, Sabrina. I hope you know that." she said out of nowhere.

"Hm." I felt a little better as she gripped my cold hand and beamed at me like that. "Look who's talking, cutie."


	14. (New Year)

_**(Notes: when I first started writing this chapter I had no idea it'd be as important as it is! This is what happens when you try to fit too much into just one chapter.**_

 _ **In true New Year fashion, this chapter is all about reflection and seeing how far Sabrina has come since the story started, as well as giving a little foreshadowing of what's still to come.)**_

* * *

"I can't believe we're doing this..." I yawned as Erika greeted me in front of Saffron City Train Station. She was wearing a beautiful warm pink and white kimono, one I hadn't seen her in before. Despite how early and dark it was, the air around her felt light as always.

She giggled at me. "Not a morning person, gorgeous?"  
I scratched the back of my head sheepishly. "I am... just not _this_ early usually." I think she was trying to not-so-subtly compliment my kimono, because of course she was. Unfortunately for her I was still a little too embarrassed and drowsy to really appreciate it, I hadn't worn one like this in a long time.

As we made our way to the Magnet Train I smiled sleepily at her. "You don't seem to be struggling at all."

She puffed out her chest proudly. "Of course! Tending to plants is a 24/7 job! I often have to wake up very early to water them, especially in the summer months."

I kind of expected her to say something like that, but hearing her boast about herself helped warm my spirits and wake me up a little.

"The train is already so busy even at this time..." Erika pouted as we tried to find a seat. The trip to Goldenrod City wasn't a long one, but it was still nice to sit next to one another. "I'm not surprised." I sighed "I bet it's going to be heaving for the next few days, it's become the most convenient way to travel to Johto besides Flying."

We luckily found some space to sit as the train began to move. It quickly picked up speed, which surprised Erika a little and she held onto my arm. "Ooh!" she exclaimed "Have you been on this before? It's a little dazing!"

I giggled and petted her soft hair with my free hand. "I haven't actually. I've never actually been to Johto for leisure, only ever for stage shows."

Erika rubbed my arm comfortingly. "That makes one of us. I've never had the chance to go at all, I've always been too busy."

I blushed. "So.. this will be your first time ever to Ecruteak City? With me?"

"Yes, silly." Erika beamed at me warmly. "The Magnet Train makes it a much more viable trip, but I only suggested it because it sounded like a wonderful way to spend our first New Year as a couple."

The colour of my face deepened until I was almost as red as my kimono. Erika squeezed my hand and fanned her face with her free hand, turning pink too.

We held hands in silence for the remainder of the short trip, enjoying the warmth of each other in this frigid weather. The train carriage was largely quiet, save for the faint chatter of some other groups of friends and families. Many of them were dressed in kimonos too, so it's likely that they too were planning to visit Ecruteak Shrine for New Year.

The darkness of early morning Kanto zipped past the windows, followed by the dark of Johto. Many places I had never seen before blurred within my field of vision for too short a moment for me to take in.

As the train slowed, the huge metropolitan cityscape of Goldenrod became clearer through the windows. Erika's eyes widened slightly.

Perhaps Goldenrod wasn't quite as big as Saffron City, but it certainly seemed more tightly packed. As we pulled into the station, the other passengers busily poured outside and began to shuffle towards Ecruteak like a congregation. Some groups waited for coaches near the station while others simply walked towards Route 35.

"Shall we?" I offered Erika my arm. Erika fanned herself to hide her blushing but was happy to oblige. We kept up a decent pace so as not to be at the back of the big crowd that would inevitably dominate Ecruteak in the coming days.

"You're familiar with this area?" Erika asked as we headed towards Route 35. "Sort of." I replied. "That tall building next to the station was the Radio Tower, I've been there a few times for shows and interviews. I've been to Ecruteak for a show before too."

I felt Erika grip my arm a little tighter. "Sometimes it really feels like I'm dating a celebrity!" I felt her grinning at me. I sighed and nudged my hip into hers' sheepishly as we walked.

A little ways up Route 35, the road split in two with a quiet wooded path splitting off from a large gate. Most of the long crowd passed through the gate, with a few taking the wooded path to avoid the crowds.

Erika fell quiet and stopped us for a few moments. Before long, she began to tug me in the direction of the wooded path to Route 36. I knew why.

"Erika, the National Park is through that gate.." I pointed out, trying to slow her down.

"I know that." Erika responded. "I told you already, I don't want to go there. It would be a waste of time."

"We should go." I suggested coolly. I squeezed Erika's hand reassuringly and pulled her towards the gate.

"Sabrina!" Erika objected, pouting. I grinned at her confidently. "Come along, don't make me pull out the telekinesis." I gave her hand another tug and she hesitantly followed me, huddling up to my side and pouting.

The other side of the gate emerged into an open and serene space. Despite the large parade of people passing through the park, it was such a large area that it scarcely seemed busy at all.

I led Erika towards the main northern part of the park and gave her a little squeeze with my arm before letting her go. She glided dreamily towards the park's fields of long grass, almost as if she were being driven by some supernatural force.

Then she stood completely still and took it in. Things fell silent.

She took in the cold morning breeze. She watched as the fading moonlight shimmered over the slightly snow-tipped flowers and grass, refracting through the park's delicate water fountain. She listened to the trickle of the water from the fountain, which could somehow be heard with crystal clarity despite the shuffling chattering crowds passing through the plaza. I watched her raise her arms just slightly as she stood there and felt the wind, facing the field with her back to me.

I experienced all this through her. It wasn't any kind of mind-reading either; I looked at the park as I imagined she would and found myself appreciating it in the ways I thought she would appreciate it. Everything in nature looked so much more intricate and significant when I imagined how she must see it.

Before I knew it a heartfelt smile covered my face as I watched her. Warmth filled my cold body.

"Sabrina..!" I heard Erika quietly whimper. She held a hand out behind her, outstretched and beckoning for me impatiently. I walked up to and held her hand, which was trembling slightly.

She spun around and pulled me into a tight hug, hiding her face in my neck. I felt her legs buckle slightly as she held onto me.

"I told you I didn't want to come.." Erika tried to stifle her emotions. " _Ugh_! This is so stupid!"

I rubbed her back comfortingly. "Don't like it?" I joked facetiously.

"Dummy." Erika bit her lip as she tried to compose herself. "I'm not going to want to leave.. It's going to be my fault if we miss the sunrise in Ecruteak.. You have to see me become this humiliating mess.. _This_ is why I didn't want to come!" Her voice cracked slightly as she spoke.

I felt her becoming more overwhelmed so I squeezed her tightly. I kissed her head. "I dunno, getting up really early is already starting to feel worth it to me."

"Sabrina.." Erika meekly breathed on me and lightly hit my shoulder "I.. thank you. Really.."

We sat together on a bench and watched the park for a short while. It was mostly empty, besides those making their way to Ecruteak and just a few others who had decided to watch the sun rise from here too.

I should explain. There is nowhere in Kanto like Johto's National Park. Erika had always wanted to visit, to see its carefully and lovingly tended grass and flower fields. It was a big part of the inspiration behind her drive to push for more natural spaces in Celadon City as well as other parts of Kanto. I even remember her talking about it back when we were kids in school.

"It's a testament to what humans can do to celebrate and tribute nature," she would gloat about it "The National Park is what's possible when nature is loved and treated like a piece of artwork. It's almost like a loving apology for how much we as a species have harmed the natural world."

It may not have been part of the plan, but we happily watched the sun rise over the National Park together on the first morning of the New Year.

...

"I keep telling you, I loved it." I giggled as we made our way through Route 36 towards Ecruteak City, the early morning sun bathing the snow. Erika was clinging to my arm and pouting, still embarrassed by her unwanted display of her vulnerable side earlier.

"Either way.. I still owe you one. You can only see the New Year sunrise from Ecruteak once a year." she continued to protest.

"And we've both gone through our whole lives so far not seeing it once, so I'm sure we can manage one more year." I squeezed her hand reassuringly, reminding her I wanted to be here with her.

Ecruteak City was bustling already, completely stuffed with crowds of friends and families with their Pokémon. Stalls were propped up along the roads offering various activities, souvenirs and street food, but Erika and I made our way directly to the city's shrine area - because it was only going to get busier.

A familiar face bounded excitedly towards us as we neared the northern part of the town. "Erika! Sabrina! H-Happy New Year!" Jasmine greeted us with a gentle bow. Erika and I softly bowed back at her, smiling. "How long have you been here sweetie?" Erika asked Jasmine, who was wearing a light turquoise kimono decorated with a neat white and yellow sash.

"I've been here for a few hours already, Amphy has been able to take a break today too." she motioned to Amphy, who was happily snacking on some mochi.

Jasmine held out a plate stuffed with mochi she'd been carrying. "I uhm.. I made a bunch of mochi. I usually make some every year, but I made much more this year because I knew friends from Kanto would be coming. I'd l-love for you to try some! Before Whitney gets here and cleans the plate off.. ehehe."

"If.. you wouldn't mind." I smiled nervously at Jasmine. "I haven't eaten breakfast."  
"Sabrina!" Erika gasped at me like she was my mother or something.

We let out some of our Pokémon and set ourselves to the side of the busy area, snacking on the mochi Jasmine had so kindly offered us as we waited for Whitney to show up. A few passers-by asked me for autographs.

"Y-you two look wonderful by the way." Jasmine beamed at me warmly as we waited, which made me blush a little. "Sabrina that kimono suits you so naturally! It's um.. like I almost didn't realise I hadn't seen you in one before until today."

Erika turned to look at me too, grinning "Actually, now that Jasmine mentions it I haven't had a good look at you in the sunlight yet! You want to twirl for me hon'?"

I pouted and raised an eyebrow. "You serious?" Erika nodded cheekily and Jasmine laughed, so I hesitantly span around on the spot, trying to look graceful but not doing a great job of it.

"That crimson is absolutely astonishing.. you stand out beautifully even in this sea of people and it sits perfectly on your slender figure. If looks could kill~!" Erika smothered me with compliments, holding her fingers out like a picture frame. I blushed again.

"If anyone could kill someone with a look, it'd be a psychic huh?" interjected Misty, who fearlessly strolled into the conversation grinning and waving. "Happy New Year girls!"

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny." I didn't find it funny. "Happy New Year, Misty." The other two also greeted Misty, who was wearing a dark blue kimono decorated with a Gyarados pattern - though the Gyarados were red.

"You look wonderful as well, dear!" Erika clapped her hands, clearly excited to not be the only one in a kimono for once. "The red Gyarados are particularly striking!"

"O-oh!" Jasmine's eyes lit up as she admired Misty'd kimono. "Like in th-the legend of the Red Gyarados at Lake of Rage!"

Misty nodded confidently. "Exactly! I absolutely have to see it for myself someday! If it's real, I mean."

"It is real. Most Johto legends are." came another interjecting voice, this time a blonde man dressed in an eerie purple kimono. Despite his appearance, his mannerisms were nonchalant and laid back. He waved at us all and introduced himself.

"Happy New Year Kanto Gym Leaders! Iiii don't think I've met most of you? Anyway, I'm Morty, the Gym Leader here in Ecruteak City."

I introduced myself, but he had already heard of me and had met Erika before. Her social circle really did extend pretty far.

"So Morty, have you seen the Red Gyarados yourself?" Misty excitedly asked.  
"Nope, but way too many people have claimed to have seen it at that lake to be a coincidence right? It's something of a cryptid to people in Johto, but it's definitely real."

Misty's eyes lit up and she pumped her fists. "Arceus! I've gotta see one someday I _need_ it!"

"Speaking of Arceus!" Morty interrupted again. "Did you know that the reason Ecruteak Shrine is so popular is because not only is it connected to the Legendary Pokémon Ho-Oh and Lugia, but is also one of the closest places in Johto to the Sinjoh Ruins and Arceus itself!?"

"What are you, a tour guide?" Misty gawked.  
"Something like that." Morty smirked unapologetically.

"Ah, there you are!" Brock called to Misty as he sauntered to our increasingly large group, also wearing a kimono. Nothing fancy but he did look smart, you could tell he was only wearing it because the occasion called for it.

"What the heck have you been doing Brock? You kinda just disappeared back there."

"Ahh nothing much, just getting an autograph from Lorelei." Brock grinned gleefully at Misty.

"LORELEI!?" Misty squeaked and jumped. " _WHERE_!?"  
The usually cool and confident Misty was gone, apparently.

"Hello!" a tall, red-haired woman with a powerful presence wearing an amazingly extravagant purple kimono had followed Brock over to us.

A tiny " _Eep_!" sound escaped Misty's mouth as she turned bright red and scrambled to hide behind Erika. "I-I-I'm not emotionally ready!" she whispered as Erika tried to hide her snorts of laughter.

Of course, this was Lorelei, a particularly popular member of the Indigo League Elite Four and an extraordinary Ice-Type Trainer. Essentially everyone bowed quite deeply to her in respect.

Lorelei giggled and waved again. "Relax, relax." she coolly uttered in a deep, commanding voice. "My new friend Brock here told me my biggest fan was around somewhere so I was hoping to say hi."

I heard the very conspicuous sound of a deep sharp breath being taken, as Misty did her best to regain her composure and emerged from Erika's tall security.

"I-I hope you find her! Them! I hope you find them! But while you're here though w-would you mind giving me an autograph too? I think you're really uh.. pretty, I mean pretty uh.. 'cool'.. ahaha.." she courageously stuttered.

Smooth. But admittedly impressive considering she was squeaking and hiding just a moment ago.

Lorelei smiled so warmly at Misty that it could thaw ice. "To 'Misty', right? You're quite the rising star! I have some magazines with you in them at home!" she took out a pen and began to write. I could have sworn I saw steam rising from Misty's bright red face.

"There we go!" she handed Misty the pad and I saw Misty's eyes dart across it multiple times as she took it in. "Good luck catching the Red Gyarados.." she read aloud from the autograph "..You think it's real too?" Misty asked Lorelei, finally sounding a little less awkward.

"Absolutely." she nodded with conviction "There are so many Pokémon in the world, surely it wouldn't be strange for something like that to be real?"

"Mm.." Misty pondered, her eyes still transfixed on the autograph, partially because she seemed like she was struggling to look Lorelei in the eyes. "U-um! Thank you! Thank you Lorelei this is really c-cool of you to do!"

Lorelei beamed at her. "It's nothing! I love visiting Ecruteak for New Year so it's nice to see more faces from Kanto here this year."

It certainly was nice to be meeting new people, but the shrine area was constantly getting busier and Jasmine was looking restless. "If Whitney doesn't hurry up the shrine will be too busy.. a-and there will be no mochi left for her..!"

"There'd _better_ be some mochi left for me!" almost as if summoned by Jasmine's threat, along came Whitney, dashing through the city streets towards our party while trying not to trip over her own kimono.

She frowned as she looked at all of us and helped herself to some of the few remaining balls of mochi. "All you morning people from Kanto are going to make me look bad! This is still pretty early for me y'know, so it's not like I didn't make an effort." she grumbled with her mouth full.

Jasmine smiled and giggled sheepishly, patting Whitney's head. Whitney definitely seemed like she had been in a hurry to get here, her cute bright pink and white kimono was a pretty loose fit and she made no effort to hide the fact she was wearing her usual pair of sneakers.

Erika smiled reservedly "You're not wrong that most of us are morning people! Don't let it get to you sweetie, we were happy to wait for you."

Jasmine nodded enthusiastically and I gave Whitney a reassuring wink.

Whitney rubbed her eyes and slapped her cheeks to wake herself up a little more. "It's no big deal, let's get this over with so I can try some of that great looking street food!"

Our entourage began to head towards Ecruteak Shrine, including our Pokémon. While bigger Pokémon like Amphy and Alakazam were fine on their own, I did worry about Eevee getting lost in a crowd that big so I huddled him in an arm of my kimono.

"I'm s-sure you have more important people to visit the shrine with than us huh Lorelei?" Misty blurted out awkwardly.

"Actually, I think I'll tag along with all of you if you don't mind." she smiled warmly at Misty as she followed our group. Misty's jaw hang agape for a few moments as she continued to process the situation "Oh! That's uh, that's super neat!"

I heard Brock laughing pretty loudly from the other side of the group. Erika and I giggled to one another.

"How are you holding up, hon'?" Erika rubbed her thumb along my cold free hand as we joined the pretty sizeable queue for the shrine.

"Mm?" I looked back at her and raised an eyebrow, fidgeting with her hand in my own as Eevee made himself comfortable in my other arm. "Why do you ask?"

Erika beamed at me and playfully bumped her hip to mine "Just a year ago I was the only person you spent time with. Now look at you! Jumping across to Johto and socialising with so many people on New Year's Day!"

"I'm proud of you."

I opened my mouth to reply but couldn't think of anything to say - I just blushed and smiled warmly at her. She was right.

The crowd closer to the shrine was so stuffed that Erika and I had inevitably gotten separated from some of the others in the group. Jasmine and Whitney were both still close to us though. We could hear Lorelei's deep powerful voice coming from somewhere behind us so the others likely weren't far.

"It is a lot busier than usual this year, but we're more or less used to this!" Jasmine giggled, but Whitney looked bored. Considering Jasmine's usual shyness, her confidence with the situation indicated to me that this was something she had been doing for many years.

Eevee scurried around in my arm, trying to stay comfortable. I did my best to prevent him from being too crushed by the crowd but he didn't seem disturbed, he just made a few quiet yelps.

Seemingly noticing Eevee's muttering, a young girl who was stood in front of me bounced excitedly and turned around. She had beautiful long black hair and deep dark eyes that contrasted with her bright lilac kimono. She really stood out - despite looking like she was only around 8 or 9 years old.

"E-excuse me miss, is that an Eevee?" she asked me politely. Eevee popped his head out from my arm and yipped at the girl happily.

"A-aah! Hello Eevee! Nice to meet you! I'm Valerie!" the girl gleefully greeted my Eevee as a delighted smile plastered her face. "Can I pet it, please?"

I nodded coolly. "You may pet him, he seems to like you already."

She happily pet and scritched Eevee's head and upper back, giggling. "He's beautiful! He can tell how much I love Eevee! If it wasn't so busy here I'd bring out my own to meet him.. Oh! Hi there Alakazam!" she waved at my Alakazam too, who waved back nonchalantly, before continuing to pet Eevee.

Erika frowned concernedly. "Valerie, sweetie, are you okay in this crowd? Are your parents nearby?"

Valerie smiled sweetly at Erika and continued to pet Eevee. "Please don't worry about me miss, I'm here with Naoko!"

Jasmine piped up. "Naoko? You mean of the Kimono Girls?"  
Valerie nodded "Yup! I get to spend time with them all sometimes!"

The Kimono Girls were something of a local celebrity group here in Ecruteak, they put on regular shows in the City Dance Hall and regularly help with city events like this one.

"Where is she, sweetie?" Erika asked, still concerned that Valerie was by herself in this crowd.

"Just up ahead." Valerie didn't appear to be at all stressed. "I joined the queue because I wanted to see everyone's kimonos closer up, everyone is so beautiful this year." her deep eyes appeared to sparkle as she admired Erika and I's New Year attire.

Jasmine blushed timidly as Valerie admired her kimono. In contrast, Whitney grinned confidently and ruffled Valerie's hair "Whaddyou think? Pretty cool right?"

Ignoring Whitney's compliment fishing, Valerie merely pouted and patted down her own hair. "Excuse me miss, could you not do that? I worked real hard on my hair today."

Whitney went a little pink and stood behind Jasmine, looking dejected. Erika and I giggled to each other.

We were happy to keep Valerie company until the queue eventually became more focused near the shrine's offering box. The area to the side of the shrine wasn't quite as busy. Shrine caretakers as well as the Kimono Girls were offering assistance to patrons and making sure the queue moved along smoothly. Some people were tying wooden plaques with wishes and prayers to the shrine too, before making their way back to town.

One of the Kimono Girls, a beautiful woman in an extravagent red and green kimono, waved towards us looking a little agitated. "Valerie, you can't just run off like that when it's this busy!"

Valerie ran up to the woman giggling carefreely. "It's okay Naoko! I got to meet an Eevee!" Valerie then ran off to see the other Kimono Girls.  
Naoko sighed and bowed to us in thanks. "Thank you for watching her.. I'm supposed to be taking responsibility for her today but she's getting to a rebellious age.."

"Oh it was nothing!" Erika smiled politely. "She's a delightful young girl."

"I'm relieved she didn't cause you any trouble." Naoko responded warmly before looking over our group again. "Nice to see you Jasmine, Whitney. I do hope you're both enjoying yourselves."

Jasmine playfully patted the slightly grumpy Whitney on the head and smiled at Naoko. "We are, thank you for always working so hard."

"And Sabrina! It's been such a long time, it's good to see you again." Naoko beamed at me. "Likewise." I replied coolly.

"You know each other?" Erika asked in surprise.  
"Yes! It was a little unorthodox, but her family put on a psychic stage show at Ecruteak Dance Hall once a few years ago and we helped with it, so we are acquainted."

Erika laughed and I blushed a little. She rubbed my arm. "Anyway this is Erika, Celadon City's Gym Leader." I tried to save face by changing the subject.

"It's nice to finally meet you Erika, I'm Naoko."  
"It's a pleasure." Erika warmed up the area around her with her smile.  
"Have you considered becoming a Kimono Girl, Erika? You look like you'd have a natural talent for it." Naoko joked, making Erika blush and laugh nervously. "I-I'm flattered.. unfortunately, I'm far too busy for something like that I think.."

Suddenly Valerie was rushing back to us, this time with a very pampered and happy-looking Eevee in her arms. "Eevee, meet Eevee! Can he play with us?" Valerie asked me excitedly. I nodded calmly and gently let Eevee down to the ground. "Go easy on them okay?" I pet Eevee's head before he bounced off with Valerie and her Eevee.

"A-ah.. that reminds me um, Sabrina?" Jasmine asked "The Kimono Girls are actually Eevee experts too.. perhaps you could ask them about your problem?"

I pouted and went a little pink, not too eager with the idea of exposing my ignorance on Pokémon to someone I barely knew. I had a reputation to uphold, right?

"E-Espeon.." I muttered out loud. I decided to finish the thought. "Do you know much about Espeon?"

Naoko giggled confidently and pulled a Pokéball from her robes. "Come on out to say hi!"

The Pokéball's light faded and there it was - an Espeon. The first one I'd ever seen in person. Its short purple hair glimmered fantastically in the morning sun, and its eyes held a darkness that betrayed deep wisdom and calm.

"H-how.." I asked quietly, stunned by the coincidence that Naoko just so happened to have one. I asked again with more vigour "Please tell me, how do you evolve Eevee into Espeon?"

Naoko stroked her chin almost playfully, then looked over to where Valerie was playing with both Eevee and smiled at me gently.

"To be honest Sabrina, I'm not sure you even need to ask."

"Ah-ahh!" Valerie fell backwards, slipping onto the ground with her mouth wide, causing most of us to look at her. Her Eevee was staring intently at my Eevee, who was glowing an increasingly intense white. Erika excitedly grabbed and shook my shoulder "Honey, he's evolving!"

It was so surreal. To think I could have blinked and missed it! One minute the Eevee were playing together with Valerie and then without me even noticing..

The fur on his cheeks grew out into tufts, his body becoming more slender while his bushy tail thinned and forked into two at the end. My eyes widened. "E-Espeon?"

Thinking I was calling him, my Pokémon ran and jumped into the arms of my kimono. The light faded and in my arms was a gorgeous Espeon, with lilac fur glowing in the morning sun as Naoko's did. He yipped happily at me, clearly proud of himself. I honestly struggled to stop tears from welling up in my eyes as I held and looked at him.

 _'Finally! I.. I did it!'_

"S-Sabrina! You did it!" Jasmine excitedly clapped. "Whoa, nice one!" Whitney stared at Espeon surprised "It's a shame it's not a Normal Type anymore though hu- Ow!" Jasmine elbowed Whitney in the gut and Erika laughed.

Composing myself, I tried to wrap my head around what happened. "I.. don't even know what I did."

"Espeon and Umbreon are Pokémon that evolve from having a close bond to their Trainer. If it feels trust and friendship with its Trainer through travel, shared experiences, even just a great meal.. all those things make an Eevee more likely to evolve into Espeon or Umbreon." Naoko explained, smiling proudly at me.

"The main difference is that Espeon evolves from Eevee who associate their happiest memories of their bond with the daytime and sunlight - as yours seemed to."

"I.. I see." I wasn't really sure what to say. I was happy, I hugged Espeon in my arms and tried to dry my eyes on the arms of my kimono.

"M-miss Sabrina!" Valerie spoke up excitedly hugging her own Eevee "You should make your New Year prayer now, it'll be good luck! I'm going to pray for my Eevee to evolve into a Fairy!"

A Fairy Eevee huh? I smiled back at Valerie and nodded.

"I think praying now is a good idea." said Jasmine "Besides, the others have caught up to us and I think Whitney here is getting bored of queuing."

After thanking Naoko once more we rejoined the dense queue with Misty and the others. "Ooh hey! When did your Eevee evolve!?" Misty exclaimed. Erika giggled.

"You know Sabrina, if your Espeon loves sunlight and close bonds, maybe it means he was inspired by a sudden change in lifestyle recently. Doesn't that remind you of someone?" Erika grinned at me teasingly, her eyes lidded.

I quickly pecked Erika on the cheek in gratitude "Maybe~."

The shrine itself was finally in sight. It felt like we'd been queuing in this increasingly dense crowd forever. Looking ahead to the front of the queue I spotted some familiar faces - Janine with her father Koga, making their prayers at the offering box.

Janine irritably turned to stick her tongue out at someone. When I followed her line of sight I noticed she was responding to the teases of the young blue-haired boy praying with Violet City's Gym Leader. His son, maybe? Janine seemed a little too old to be sticking her tongue out at boys like that, but Jasmine certainly found it funny.

The shrine was adorned by fantastic bronze statues of a large bird Pokémon. Each statue's presence was almost intimidating, portraying the strong majesty of the Pokémon depicted. Almost as if he couldn't contain himself, Morty began to lecture our group again.

"Statues of the Legendary Pokémon, Ho-Oh! Aren't they beautiful? They say Ho-Oh roosts on the Bell Tower in the east of Ecruteak!"

"Really? Has anyone in Ecruteak actually seen Ho-Oh though?" I asked doubtfully.

"N-no.." Morty gloomily admitted "Ho-Oh and Lugia supposedly both flew away following a disaster at the Burnt Tower to the city's west many years ago, no one knows where they've been since."

"You know what?" Lorelei interjected, right before it was her turn to pray "I've actually heard a _lot_ of rumours that Legendary bird Pokémon have been spotted at a far off part of the Sevii Islands, sort of near where I live."

"Is that right?" Morty frowned, almost as if he was jealous of her.

She rung the bell, threw some Pokédollars into the offertory box and made her prayer. "And with that I should really be going. It's been wonderful to meet you all, may our paths cross again." she smiled warmly to each of us and waved.

Now there was a person who really seemed like she had her life together.

"B-bye Lorelei! I hope you find your number one fan! Which totally wasn't me by the way! H-haha!" Misty waved after her and then slapped her own face, taking a deep and embarrassed sounding groan.

"Misty has always had a huge celebrity crush on Lorelei, if it wasn't obvious. I'm really happy she finally got to meet her." Brock whispered to Erika and I as Misty made her prayer.

"Isn't Misty dating someone right now though?" Erika asked Brock curiously. "Yeah, but they're not really serious. She'll probably be seeing some other boy or girl within a few months."

Erika giggled fondly "It's so cute! Misty is still just a kid after all, huh?"

I side-eyed her and grinned "We're barely adults ourselves, you know.."

Erika paused to think for a few moments as Misty and Brock waved, making their way back to town. "You're right.. sometimes it really doesn't feel like it and I forget how young we still are."

When it was finally our turn to pray, Whitney was in and out like a dart. "Bow bow, clap clap, bow, food! See you in a bit Jasmine!" she dashed off back to town as Jasmine made her prayer at a more relaxed pace.

"What kind of thing will you be praying about and wishing for Sabrina?" Erika asked as we reached the offertory box, tilting her head.

"You know.. I was thinking about what you said earlier. This time last year you were genuinely the only person I spoke to besides Alakazam."

Alakazam nodded sagely next to me.

"But now.. I'm waking up early to celebrate New Years Day in Johto with good people I've never even met. I'm dating someone I've admired for years and my Eevee even evolved into an Espeon.

The past year has been the most eventful year of my entire life, even moreso than the Rocket invasion and meeting the Champion. I can scarcely believe how much my life has changed in just one year, and it's because I took your advice and started to try new things with you."

I stared her directly in the eyes as I spoke and she stared back, smiling sweetly. We squeezed each other's hands.

We threw 50 Pokédollars each into the box. We rang the bell. We bowed twice, clapped twice, and bowed again.


	15. (Johto)

**_(Notes: This is one of the chapters I have been leading up to for a while now and probably one of the most important chapters in the second half of the story. Obviously it covers a pretty long time period._**

 ** _The next few chapters will probably be the most important chapters in the entire story! Look forward to them, I know I will!)_**

* * *

I'd worked hard and studied hard my whole life, but I'd never felt like I had hit the ground running keeping busy like I did this year.

Once family obligations were out the way, Erika and I had some quality time to spend with each other in first week of the year. It was over before we knew it though, and the whole of Japan was suddenly back to work.

Not only were we back to work, we had said we'd make time to help Janine and Baoba with surveying Johto for the Safari Zone moving project. I had also promised the Silph Company to help promite the PokéGear.

Suffice to say, there was a lot to do. Very quickly. In the past I might have said 'Sorry, I'm too busy' or 'I'd rather not', but for the first time I felt like I had personal stakes in these projects. I owed it to Erika and I owed it to myself to see things through for once.

And it wasn't like I wasn't motivated. I woke up on the second day of the year with my girlfriend sleeping beside me (yeah, that happened) and got up to feed a hungry and energetic Espeon. My motivation had actually never been this good, so it was probably a good year to have so much planned.

Still, this unfortunately meant that even when the weather eventually warmed up again, Erika's tea get-togethers at Celadon Fountain were quite few and far between. We'd spend the majority of our free time in Johto instead, almost like uh.. 'professional tourists'.

"Read 'em and weep!" Whitney showed off her shiny new PokéGear to Erika and I, as we made our way from Goldenrod City to the Ilex Forest one Wednesday morning towards the end of winter. We were surveying Pokémon habitats like Janine suggested. I don't think Whitney had used the right idiom there but whatever.

"You.. only just got one?" I raised an eyebrow. It was a little pathetic for Silph Co.'s supply to Johto to have been caught up for this long, the issue had been on the news and everything.

"Yeah but that's not the point! Check it out!" Whitney pointed to a faded scribble on the side of her PokéGear "I got Lance himself to sign it when he gave it to me! Hellll _yeaah_!"

I squinted at her PokéGear. "It.. looks kind of faded already."

"Shut up! At least my memory of this signature will last forever!" Whitney pouted, tearing up a little as she fiddled with it. Erika giggled to herself. "What's your favourite feature so far, Whitney?"

"Prob the radio! ANYWAY I hope ya'll don't mind if I put it on now actually."  
"Only if it doesn't scare the Wild Pokémon away." I mumbled.

Whitney tuned in to Professor Oak's show, 'Pokémon Talk'.

" _... ng news! A bunch of RALTS have decided to make an appearance at Route 34! If you're a Trainer who's ..._ " a woman's clear and endearing voice could be heard on the radio, but the signal wasn't great. Whitney's PokéGear probably needed more tuning.

"Whoa! A Hoenn native Pokémon here in Johto?!" Whitney's eyes lit up. I was admittedly a little surprised too, I had always wanted to catch a Ralts.

"Hold on," Erika grabbed my arm "Route 34? Isn't that where we are right now?"

"... Oh yeah!" Whitney and I both exclaimed at the same time.

Long story short, that was how I caught a Ralts. Even if the Ilex Forest thing didn't work out, it definitely didn't feel like a waste of time anymore. Besides, it was time spent with Erika!

When we reached Ilex Forest, Bugsy was there waiting for us. He waved diffidently. "Welcome.. today I'm going to show you guys why it'd be a bad idea to have a Safari Zone near Ilex Forest or Azalea Town."

So yeah, the Ilex Forest thing probably wasn't going to work out.

Erika sighed. "Sorry Bugsy, we didn't mean to ignore you but Janine insisted we at least look.."

Bugsy shrugged his shoulders and beckoned us to follow him, letting out his Scyther. "It's okay! It's nice to see you all and I get to show you some really neat things while you're here!"

"Ooh! He's gunna show us Headbutt! I love Headbutt!" Whitney jumped excitedly. Whitney really did like Headbutt huh. Erika and I exchanged glances, trying to stifle our laughter.

Bugsy grinned and pulled an action pose he must have thought looked cool. "Scyther, use Headbutt!" his Scyther smashed its deceptively tough head into a nearby pine tree, causing a dark-coloured round Pokémon, a Pineco, to drop out of it with a heavy _thunk_.

"No no no! It'll explode!" Whitney panicked and hid behind me but Bugsy waved his hand at her nonchalantly. "It's okay it's okay, look."

Bugsy gently approached the Pineco and stroked it with his hand. "There, see? Sorry for disturbing you buddy." despite his diminutive body, he easily climbed the tree with the fairly heavy Pokémon in his net and hoisted it back up to its home. He jumped back down again and dusted off his shorts.

"And that's how you use a Headbutt attack to find Wild Pokémon! I don't like to disturb them unless I actually want to catch one, though."

Erika nodded fervently "I'm impressed Bugsy, you know a lot about how to handle Bug Pokémon for someone so young!"

Bugsy rubbed his nose confidently but was evidently a little flattered by the compliment. "Heh, of course! A-anyway, follow me again."

We headed deeper into the forest, with Bugsy commanding his Scyther to Cut down loose bushes and trees that blocked the path until we arrived at a small shrine.

"Look." Bugsy paused, planting his bug net firmly on the ground and putting his other hand confidently on his hip. "This is why we can't have a Safari Zone anywhere _near_ here. This place is far too important.

"This tiny shrine? I don't get it." Whitney irritably put her hands on her hips. "Someone's left some food here too, what a waste!" she hopped towards the shrine to look at the food.

"Wait." Bugsy held the rod of his bug net out in front of him as if he were some kind of guard, stopping Whitney from getting closer. "It's an offering to the Mythical Pokémon, Celebi, which is supposedly connected to this place."

I crossed my arms in thought. "Do you believe Celebi exists?"

Bugsy shook his head "It doesn't matter, the mere possibility that a time-travelling Pokémon that protects the forest could be real should be enough to make people cautious to build near this place, even for a good cause. In my opinion."

"There really are a lot of legends in Johto, aren't there." I rubbed the bridge of my nose. It seems like finding a large wildlands space in Johto might not be as simple as Janine hoped.

Bugsy nodded. "Mhm. And that's why trying to build near the Ruins of Alph up north is a bad idea as well. The Gym Leaders from Ecruteak and Violet would tell you that much."

...

Sure enough, when Janine insisted we check out the areas near the Ruins of Alph a couple of months later it felt like we had immediately hit a very expected dead-end. I had gone with Janine while Erika was busy with something in Kanto, and both the Ecruteak and Violet City Gym Leaders were quickly on her case.

"Seriously Janine.. I'm sorry, but I tried to tell you over the phone right?" Morty rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "This place isn't just home to rare ancient Pokémon but it's got like.. like connections to Unown, Suicune, even Arceus. You just can't mess with that stuff."

"What's the big deal?" Janine raised an eyebrow impatiently "The Safari Zone is a good place! It doesn't harm anything! Is there nowhere around here that'd make a good space to make it?"

"You just don't get it." Morty lazed his head back, clearly tired by the situation. "It's not just about space it's about habitat right? I don't think old man Slowpoke would agree to having it around here anyway?"

"Tch." Janine turned away looking visibly irked. "I'm really trying here!"

"You shouldn't have bothered kid, but I guess you get your hardheadedness from your fool of a father!" Violet City's Leader, who I still wasn't really acquainted with, laughed heartily at her. This admittedly ticked me off.

"Hey. Let's be civil. That tone is completely unnecessary." I stared him down coldly and effortlessly. He was right that she shouldn't have expected so much but talking condescendingly to a teenager didn't sit well with me - and I wasn't about to be dragged into their weird family rivalry.

But standing up for Janine like that also made me notice how soft I was getting. I didn't hate it, but I never used to do this kind of thing.

"Look, Janine.." I patted her on the shoulder gently. "Talk to the others, but I think they might agree there are a lot of reasons this area isn't appropriate. I agree too, we're just surveying right? There's no rush."

"I know that.. I know already! It's just.."

I looked at Morty and mouthed for him to give me a hand. Morty sighed awkwardly and nodded.

"Listen Janine I'm not trying to make this harder for you.. tell ya what, I can help in my own way by telling you which bits of Johto should be absolutely off the cards. That'll help you save time right?"

Janine nodded, pouting. "Thanks.. I'm sorry.. it's just really important to me, and I've made no progress.."

I patted Janine on the back and gave the other Gym Leaders an awkward defeated smile. Time to go home.

Janine and I sat ourselves on the train together and sighed. To make matters worse, my social anchor Erika wasn't here, so I was pretty quiet. I didn't really know what to say to help Janine feel better.

What a stressful day! But luckily my knight in a kimono phoned me on the PokéGear just as the train was pulling into Saffron.

"Hey babe! Can I ask you a favour?" Erika chimed down the phone when I picked up. I immediately blushed, she had evolved the pet names she was using and I still wasn't used to it.

"O-of course, what is it?" I asked, trying to pretend my face wasn't red.  
"Could you meet me at Celadon Fountain when you get back? I'd really like your opinion on something."

"Sure, we just got back to Saffron anyway so I'll see you soon."  
"Ooh ooh Sabrina, tell Erika about the Wild Skiploom on Route 14!" Janine shouted down the phone.

"Wait really?!" I heard Erika yell back in surprise "I'll have a look next time I visit Baoba! Thank you Janine! And see you soon Sabrina."

"See you." I hung up and turned to Janine. "Sorry about today, Janine. Better luck next time?"

"It's okay.. really. It gave me some things to think about anyway. so I'm going to talk to Warden Slowpoke about it. Say hi to Erika for me!"

And with that, Janine leapt onto the roof of a nearby building and zipped down south towards Fuchsia City.

"She's so... extra."

I made my way to Celadon Fountain to see Erika and gave her a fond wave when I saw her. She was sat by herself with her arms crossed.

"Are you cold?" I asked as I approached.

"No no I'm fine.. thank you for coming sweetie." Erika waved back. "I won't keep you long.. but today I got called to Viridian City for my input on a project the city wants to work on."

"Oh? What happened?" I raised an eyebrow and sat myself next to her.

"With Viridian Gym still empty, the city has been kind of lacking in Pokémon experts and Viridian Forest is becoming overgrown. It's actually becoming a little too dangerous there for new Trainers."

"Seriously?" I frowned in disbelief "I can't imagine Viridian Forest being a particularly dangerous place."

"I found it hard to believe at first too, but supposedly the Ground-Type Trainers from Giovanni's Gym would regularly help keep the forest tended to and make sure it was passable for newer Trainers. We all know how that turned out though.. most of them were undercover Rockets."

I sighed, it really had been a while now since Viridian Gym was active.  
"So.. they want you to help with the forest?"

Erika nodded with a serious expression. "More or less. To put it briefly I've been asked by Professor Oak himself to help revitalise Viridian Forest, to make it safer for new Trainers."

I beamed excitedly "Erika that's wonderful! With your knowledge of nature and botany you'd do a far better job than Brock or even Giovanni! I bet you can help the forest look truly beautiful."

Erika smiled back at me sweetly and stood up, getting out her fan and covering her mouth with it. "Yeah." she sighed and stretched. "Yeah, I would be good at it right?"

"Right!" I echoed confidently "There's seriously no one better suited. Is that what you wanted my opinion on?"

"Mhm." Erika nodded and rubbed my shoulder from behind. "I suppose I should give it my all." I reached for her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it in mine. It was cold.

"Thanks for your input sweetie, I'm going to turn in for the night so make sure you get home quickly okay? I don't want you getting cold." Erika gave me a quick squeeze from behind and made her way home before I could really say anything.

"Ah, see you soon..!" I called after her as she walked away, a little sad that we couldn't spend more time together.

...

Unfortunately, things continued like that in the coming months. I saw a lot less of Erika because of how busy she'd gotten, juggling her own Gym, helping to survey Johto and revitalising Viridian Forest.

I was getting busier too. With the weather warming up and spring finally in full swing I was getting caught up in promoting the PokéGear when I wasn't running my Gym or helping Janine.

Photoshoots.. radio promotions in Goldenrod City.. television spots.. I really was something of a merchandising partner for the product.

It still irked me, but I was good at it and the company liked it. The magazines and commercials were popular and Trainers appreciated seeing a strong Trainer advertising the product rather than some other celebrity.

I even got to share a magazine cover or two with Lance! Not that I had actually been able to meet him in person or anything. We were just photo edited into the same image.

Oh well.

I wasn't really happy that I barely got to see Erika either, but I did make the effort. I would visit her in her Gym sometimes after work - not too often. I'd just check up on her and spend time with her if she was happy with it.

It had been a long time since I'd visited Erika's Gym on a work day.. and it brought back some weird memories. For one thing, that old man I got angry at years ago was still outside the Gym regularly. He still watched the girls through the windows.

I had learnt to make peace with it, but it still annoyed me. I just bit my tongue and accepted that Erika was okay with it.

Erika's Gym Trainers were always happy to see me too. I had become reacquainted with some of them during over the past year, but I was always surprised at how pleasant they were to me - especially since I used to be _so_ jealous of them. I was honestly a little ashamed about the way I thought of them in the past.

But it was beginning to get really difficult to find time where Erika and I could be alone together or relaxed around each other.

She seemed to dislike behaving too much like a couple while she was still working, always covering her mouth with that fan of hers when I complimented her or flirted with her and would scarcely stay with me afterwards as she would usually have to prepare something or other for the next day.

We did eventually get another Wednesday looking around Johto together, which gave us a few moments to be ourselves around each other. This time our destination was the area surrounding Blackthorn City - an isolated city hidden in the mountain.

While Morty hadn't advised us that it was out of the question, he did warn us that the Gym Leader wasn't particularly friendly. None of us felt particularly optimistic about this location either.

During the trip to the city Erika and I held hands like usual, but I struggled to hold a conversation with her. Or rather, it felt like she didn't have the energy she usually had. It felt.. unusual.

"I'm sorry we haven't spent much time together lately, Sabrina." Erika said out of nowhere as we neared Blackthorn City. She didn't look at me, she just fanned herself.

"It's okay! I know we're both really busy, but once all this is over we can see each other a lot more."

"Mhm!" Erika responded, still not looking at me, still fanning herself.

Normally this would be worrying, right? And I was kind of worried about her, but I didn't feel paranoid or anything.

I guess the reason I wasn't paranoid was because she was clinging to my hand so tightly. I mean the whole day, she had been holding my hand a lot more tightly than she usually did. Not forcefully or aggressively.. more like she wanted to make sure I wouldn't suddenly let go of her.

Even though she wasn't saying much to me, I still knew she needed my company while she had it.

We met with Bruno when we arrived at the city and he greeted us both with a kind smile. "It's good to see you both. I do hope you are well."

I opened my mouth to say something but Erika spoke first. "We are, thank you Bruno." she bowed. I pouted a little.

"What made you decide to meet with us here?" I asked.

"The mountains in this area are fantastic for training so I already spend a lot of time here. I know the area well. However.. the Pokémon are generally Rock and Ground Types, or other species suited to caverns and crags. I do not believe there is much potential for variety in the ecosystem here."

That was his given reason, but in retrospect I also think he was also here to help us feel less intimidated by Blackthorn City's Gym Leader. While we were making a scene in this quiet city it was only a matter of time until she clashed with us.

A beautiful dragon tamer with bright blue hair not unlike a dragon's tail, and a blazing fire in her eyes - but not a pleasant woman to be around.

We had barely so much as introduced ourselves to Clair when she ruthlessly rebuffed us. "And turn this ancient and sacred city into some kind of tourist attraction? Are you actually _trying_ to make me angry?"

None of us really felt like arguing. We merely stood there - both Erika and I were transfixed by her fierce, wild gaze. Bruno, unsurprisingly, seemed completely unperturbed.

She then fixated her gaze on me, glaring directly into my eyes with her arms crossed and her brow scowling. While she was around my height and probably close to my age too, something about her posture and disposition made her feel like a giant compared to me, but I tried to stand my ground. I was certainly good at faking it by now.

"Actually, you know what? Just looking at you is making me angry Gym Leader Sabrina. You especially, you _really_ piss me off."

"... _What_?" I heard Erika mumble irritably. I didn't say anything, I just continued to stare back at her, my fist clenched slightly. I had never even _met_ Clair before today.

"I've seen the promotions for that little wrist toy and now this fool's errand? I used to think you were your own person, a powerful individual who didn't care what others thought of her." She grit her teeth and her tone of voice escalated slightly.

Erika opened her mouth to say something but Clair continued her little self-important rant.

"Now I see how wrong I was! You cosy up to Silph Co.. You help Koga's brat on some wild goose chase. Is that all you do now? Just do whatever anyone asks of you no matter how inconsequential or childish it is? I'm truly disappointed, you're not the admirable woman I thought you were but a pathetic, weak-willed _sellout_."

She looked down on me with those harsh and unblinking aqua eyes, intent on making me feel as weak and small as she thought I was.

"That's enough. This is hardly necessary, Clair." Bruno's deep voice boomed, quelling the situation. Erika was stood close to me fanning herself, evidently a little shaken.

I honestly didn't know how I was feeling myself though.

"Get out of my sight. Now." she furrowed her brow, bearing her fangs angrily and waving her hand in front of herself dismissively before turning her back to us.

"Oh... by the way... tell that childish cousin of mine to stop messing around with those petty toys too, or I really will have to take his place at the Elite Four."

With that, she laughed and left us to ourselves again.

We all knew when we were beat and the encounter left us wondering why we had even bothered coming. We wandered Route 45 mostly in silence but Bruno was right - it wasn't a location suitable for a diverse roster of wild Pokémon.

"We probably could have worked that out easily enough without the Blackthorn Gym Leader's banter." I huffed and smiled sheepishly at the other two. Bruno smiled back and chuckled to himself, but Erika frowned.

"The one time we get to socialise together and it ends up being a waste of everyone's time. I'm busy, you're busy, this could have been completely avoided." she aired her frustrations aloud.

"Time spent in pleasant company is never a waste of time." I breathed calmly, trying to show her that I was unfazed by Clair's rant. Bruno nodded. "You know the old proverb.. the best laid plans of Pikachu and men often go awry."

Erika opened her mouth to say something but just forced a smile. The mood remained heavy.

On Bruno's recommendation we did briefly visit Dark Cave on our way back to Goldenrod City. I even caught a Wobbuffet for my troubles.

At first I did it because I wanted to prove to Erika that we hadn't wasted our time today, but I have to admit I was endeared to the creature. Wobbuffet was a species that had become instinctively resilient within the oppressive darkness it lived in.

Erika and I saw Bruno off at Route 29 and made our way back to the Magnet Train station. Erika still wore that fatigued expression and would bring out her fan almost compulsively, but she kept a grip on my hand all the while.

"You know." she finally spoke up as we neared Goldenrod "I'm starting to feel like Janine doesn't actually understand what makes the Safari Zone special."

Erika continued her train of thought. "The Safari Zone is more than just a tourist attraction you can slap down anywhere, it sometimes feels like she wants results more than she wants to do the right thing for the park and the Pokémon."

"She's stubborn." I chuckled, "But it should only a matter of time until she realises, if she truly does care about the park."

Erika sighed and looked into the twilit sky. "Maybe I shouldn't have agreed to this. I could have had an actual productive day in Kanto and Clair wouldn't have said those things to you."

I tilted my head and huffed a laugh at her "You're still hung up on that? Have I not been doing a good job at acting like I'm over it?"

"Sorry, Sabrina. I've been meaning to ask if you were okay but was just struggling to find the right way to do so."

That kind of hesitance was weird for her. I shook my head. "To be honest, I'm just trying not to let it get to me. Some of what she said stung, sure. Some of the things she said resonated with me and vindicated that old part of myself who thought life was just meant to be me running a Gym in solitude."

Erika covered her mouth with her fan, but her eyes looked pained. She looked at her feet as she walked. Because she wouldn't let go of my hand, I reached over to her head with my free hand and stroked her hair.

"Why are you letting it get to you like this though? It's me she berated, not you. Not to mention.." I averted my eyes from her and frowned.

"I'm still not sure where all that even came from, when we had never met her before. There was so much anger and discord within her.. it made me think that, more than anything, it comes from her own issues rather than anything I did."

Erika looked at me and frowned back, rubbing my hand with her thumb. I shrugged, huffing a smile at her in one final effort to show her I was okay.  
We made our way home to Kanto, mostly in silence.

Normally I was comfortable sharing a contented silence with Erika, but this was different - she was evidently still frustrated and upset. About the Safari Zone? About Viridian Forest? About Clair? I had no idea. Every time I asked her she simply told me not to worry.

The worst part about it? I was starting to realise that I really didn't know what to do or how to make her feel better in situations like this, and they seemed to be becoming more common.


	16. (Distance)

_**(Notes: A certain someone finally makes an appearance! He's popular right?**_

 _ **The next chapter (and the one after that) are two of the most important in the whole story as well as the conclusion to Part1! Look forward to them.**_

 _ **After Chapter 18, I'm going to take a hiatus of sorts for this story. The fic got a lot longer than I expected and I wanna go do some other things, maybe write some other franchises, and come back to this fresh some other time.)**_

* * *

She was busy, so it made sense that we wouldn't be able to spend much time together. It was starting to feel like it had been months since Erika and I had spent much quality time together as friends though, let alone as a couple.

Promotion for the PokéGear was beginning to wind down and Janine had fallen conspicuously quiet about the Safari Zone. This meant it was mostly just me and my Gym again, every day, like it used to be.

And even though this used to be completely the norm for me.. I now felt restless and bored.  
Could this be what 'cabin fever' felt like? I had never noticed it before. Can't say I'm a fan.

It was interesting to bring some other Pokémon into rotation during Gym challenges. Espeon was now a permanent fixture in my team and I was proud of him. But.. I wasn't proud of battling itself, as usual. It felt thankless, it felt like a job.

In fact, now that I knew there was more to life, more to Pokémon, than simply battling? Gym challenges just felt more mundane than ever.

So you can imagine my relief when after a few dull weeks with only minimal contact from my girlfriend, she called to let me know that we would be meeting for tea on a Wednesday morning again!

"It won't be the usual unfortunately, it's mostly to catch up with Janine and see what everyone has learnt." Erika smiled gingerly, tilting her head. I resisted the urge to tell her I missed her adorable smile.

"That's okay!" I nodded enthusiastically, happy to have the chance to see her at all. "It will still be nice to finally take the morning off to see everyone again!"

Even though it had only been a month or so since we'd last held one of these, it felt oddly nostalgic to see Erika, Jasmine and the others sitting outside Celadon Fountain that Wednesday morning.

"Good morning!" I waved to them. "G-good day, Sabrina!" Jasmine called over to me fondly. Janine and Erika, who had just been chatting, both waved to me too.

Before long, Misty, Surge, Bugsy and even Whitney had turned up too.

"No Bruno today?" Erika thought aloud.

"I believe he's busy today, him and my father are doing some important training together or something." Janine rubbed the back of her head sheepishly "But that's okay."

"Why did you come?" Bugsy sighed and mumbled to Whitney.  
"Because! I had a nightmare last week that Celebi tried to punish me for trying to take its food and it's all your fault!" Whitney pouted angrily.  
"How is that my fault!" Bugsy argued defensively "That was months ago and you didn't even get near the food in the end!"

"H-hey... b-behave, you two." Jasmine meekly tried to keep the peace.

" _Ahem_!" Janine cleared her throat in a conscpicuously fake way, but it worked - all of us were prepared to listen to what she wanted to say after weeks of silence. Not everyone seemed entirely happy with her.

"Everyone, I want to thank you all for taking the time out of your busy schedules to help me for the last few months."

"I..." Janine took in a deep breath. "I've been doing a lot of reflecting, and I realised that being determined and pushy isn't enough to resolve an issue like this. Being pushy isn't enough to inspire Mr. Baoba."

Erika had her arms crossed and was still pouting slightly, but I noticed her expression soften slightly while listening to Janine's reflection.

"I seriously resent that I took advantage of a lot of your passions towards nature and Pokémon.. I'm sorry." Janine politely and quickly bowed to us.

"But it's still true that the Safari Zone is important to a lot of people. It's not like you've given up?" I interjected.

Erika sighed "Yes, but.. this has been a logistical nightmare since day one. We've visited every major city in the region and I don't believe any of us found anything particularly promising."

"Unsurprisingly, there's pretty much no room for that kind of thing near Goldenrod City, Azalea Town or Violet City." Bugsy shrugged.

"Th-there isn't really the possibility for that sort of thing near Olivine City, especially with all the Battle Facility preparation going on lately.." Jasmine awkwardly fiddled her fingers. "P-plus.. Mr. Chuck said it would probably be too dangerous to have in the mountains near Cianwood City.."

Lt. Surge nodded, his arms crossed. "No surprises here either. After speaking with old man Pryce in Mahogany Town it's clear that people love the Lake of Rage way too much to turn that area into some kinda safari park."

Janine smiled at all of us sadly, nodding the entire while. There was no sign of objection from her, but she still had that glimmer in her eyes. "I accept all this now.. But.. I'm still not giving up. Even if I have to search outside of Kanto and Johto, I want to see this through. It's just way too important to me."

"Janine, sweetie.." Erika responded wistfully, having seemingly forgiven her for the earlier frustration.

"I won't ask or pressure anyone for your continued assistance. I'll instead just say that if you wanna help out in your own free time.. it'd make me really happy." and with that, the young determined girl sat down and took a swig of tea.

"Yo, if you're takin' volunteers anyway, why the heck not?" a vaguely familiar voice suddenly interjected from nearby, causing many of us to turn our heads.

" _You_!?" Misty yelped in surprise "What're you doing here!?"

Professor Oak's boisterous grandson, Blue Oak, had cruised along to our group seemingly without us noticing. Clearly hoping to make some kind of dramatic entrance, he ran a hand through his hair and stood before us confidently.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I wanna help out, _obviously_." he said with a cocky grin that most of us were familiar with. He could probably tell that Misty, Surge, Erika and I were relatively unimpressed by the vacant expressions on our faces.

"Uh... who..?" Janine raised a finger curiously.

"It's Blue, I was the Kanto Champion for a bit almost.. two years ago now, wow. Anyways, it's great that you're all _so_ excited to see me but I am actually serious."

"What exactly do you want to help with?" Janine tilted her head, still confused by Blue's sudden appearance.

The boy rubbed the back of his head a little awkwardly. "To be honest, I've been doing a little research of my own on the Safari Zone ever since your meeting last year."

Oh... so he _was_ sulking around back then.

"...Why?" Misty asked, staring at Blue suspiciously. "What have you been doing all this time anyway?"

Blue sighed and put his hands on his hips, clearly hesitant to talk much about himself. "Dunno. Trying to figure out why I lost the Championship. Trying to get stronger. Trying to find out more about what makes Pokémon tick. Nothing special."

"If you've been looking into the Safari Zone issue, then surely you reached the same conclusion as most of us." Erika calmly explained, though she looked a little irked. "Most of Johto is seemingly just not appropriate for another big park like that."

"Yeah maybe, but unlike you busy lot I've got a tonne of free time and a bunch of experiences I still want to have."

"You sure about that, kid? Ain't you got _some_ important things to worry about, like Viridian Gym?" asked Surge, bringing up those rumours from last year I had almost forgotten about.

"Eh." Blue shoved his hands in his pockets. "That's actually _not_ important right now, if that city doesn't wanna let me fix the Gym's reputation it's on them. Soo how about _I_ have a better look at that area around Cianwood City?"

I noticed Erika sighing out the corner of my eye as she fanned herself.

Whitney clenched her teeth. "Oi, you heard Jasmine right? Didn't she just say it was too dangerous past there!?"

"A dangerous place filled with wild Pokémon sounds like prime Safari Zone potential to me." Blue shrugged and rested his hands behind his head nonchalantly. Whitney pouted bitterly.

"Look dudes, I'm not tryna be funny but I've come closer to the top of the world than _any_ of you. I'm trying to say just don't worry and let me take care of it."

"Tch." Misty grit her teeth. "Your attitude about all this rubs me the wrong way, acting like it's nothing.."

"He's right, though." I calmly put down my tea and spoke up. I wasn't a fan of how cocky Blue was as a Trainer but still, he was right. "No matter what you think of him, he is considerably more powerful as a Trainer than most of us."

Blue smiled at me, and for a brief moment he looked more genuine than cocky.

"Look... I don't even really need anyone's approval to do this, I just figured at least Koga's kid should know."

"She has a name..." Misty retorted again.

"Right, right. Janine. My bad." Blue turned around ready to leave, clearly getting a little tired of the unfriendly atmosphere towards him.

I had to admit though, he was handling it all pretty well. It wasn't as though anyone truly disrespected him, but I think everyone thought the same thing back then - he was too arrogant about his own ability as a Trainer while being disrespectful to his Pokémon partners.

But he was a child, barely eleven years old at the time he wiped Kanto's Gym Leaders and the Pokémon League. Surely it was normal to make mistakes at a young age? Arceus knows I was still making childish mistakes to this day.

Surge said the words that were on my mind. "Heh. I say we give the Oak kid the benefit of the doubt. Not like he can do much harm anyways."

"I... agree." Erika finally broke her silence with a quiet but clear vote of confidence. I nodded too, leaving Misty outnumbered and visibly irritated.

"Ahem... I-in that case... you mind running your plan through with me, Blue?" Janine asked, trying to keep some semblence of cool and control over the situation.

"Pretty simply, I'm gonna head over the cliff edge and see if the Routes past there can be made safe enough for people to traverse regularly. If they are, I'll take old man Slowpoke there myself and inspire his butt off."

Janine stood up, clearly concerned by his proposal, but took a deep breath and collected herself before speaking. "And... you're sure Baoba will be safe with you?"

"Chill, I won't even take him if it's not safe. If I let anything happen to him it'd disgrace me as an ex-Champion!"

I heard Misty snort loudly, but the two exchanged playful grins despite her apparent hostility towards him. "Fine whatever, do what you need to do, I won't stop you." Misty finally gave her own hesitant approval.

"That's more like it! No time like the present then right?" Blue, his spirits seemingly a little higher, turned and began to head for Saffron City.

"Wait, wait!" Misty called after him, pouting. "Uh... the Champion. Have you heard anything from them?"

Blue turned back to face us briefly, grinning. "Why, you're not worried about a Pokémon Master like them, are you?"

Misty huffed a smile. I knew how she felt. None of us had seen the Champion for a while now, but somehow Blue's words reassured us that they were probably doing okay.

"Heh. Well then... smell ya later!"

And off he ran.

After that weird little incursion, everyone's moods actually seemed a little brighter. Janine decided to end the meeting on a relaxed but vaguely optimistic note.

For once it felt like Janine had gotten some genuine perspective on everything. I had only known her for a few months, but it almost felt like I could see her growing up before my very eyes.

...

For me at least, the next couple months were a lot calmer. The PokéGear promotional cycle was crawling to a close and the Safari Zone situation had relaxed too. We saw Janine every few weeks and despite having no luck, her spirits were higher, her confidence improving.

She had wrapped her head around why the Safari Zone and Fuchsia City inspired her and she seemed so much freer for it.

But my girlfriend was still busy, to put it lightly. She was juggling her Gym, Viridian Forest and trying to constantly organise other people as well as keep a close watch on Celadon City, which was still suffering from its own pollution issues in the east despite her best efforts.

She would behave the same as always in social situations; kind, sweet, reliable. But I don't know.. things didn't feel the same.

Maybe the 'honeymoon phase' of our relationship was just over. Maybe I had done something wrong? Or maybe not. She seemed stressed, but as always when I asked her how she was doing she would simply tell me 'I'm fine' 'Please don't worry about me'.

I mean... I wanted to support her, and I was making an effort, but I seriously didn't know how and she wasn't giving me an opportunity to either.

I visited her Gym more and more often, sometimes after work, sometimes on Wednesdays, sometimes at weekends.

Yeah, she was working weekends more often too, or at least when she wasn't helping with Viridian Forest. 'I've been in Viridian so often, so I have to make up for it by opening weekends too.' she would tell people, and it made sense but..

To be honest, I don't think it was just me who noticed something was off either. One of her Gym Trainers, a young girl named Tina, recently asked me if anything strange had happened to Erika lately. She tried to word it in a way that wouldn't worry me, but I was already worried and I could tell she was too.

Tina was one of the few remaining Gym Trainers who had been at Celadon Gym since I first visited it years ago. Back then, she was a bright-eyed pre-teen who brimmed with admiration for Erika. Due to our familiarity with each other, I found her easier to talk to than the other Gym Trainers.

"The truth is, I've been thinking it might be time for me to move on from here soon..." Tina admitted to me one afternoon while Erika faced a challenger.

"What's keeping you? Almost everyone else from back then has left too." I raised an eyebrow.

"Do you really need to ask?" Tina sighed. "I adore Erika... I adore this Gym. But something feels off and I... don't want to leave like this."

So, she was worried that leaving might inconvenience Erika.

I couldn't get Tina to admit she was worried about Erika and she was obviously trying to keep me from worrying myself. She was very thoughtful for her age and a good Trainer, but she continued to speak to me when I visited the Gym as if nudging me to try and do something.

Despite visiting the Gym increasingly often, I didn't get much private time with Erika anyway though.

"At least let me cook for you tonight, you must be tired right?" I hinted to her one Wednesday evening.

"Don't be silly sweetie, I wouldn't want to inconvenience you! Plus I'd be poor company with all the work I need to be doing!" she smiled as she fanned herself.

Things just weren't changing! And I didn't feel any closer to figuring out how I could get her to talk to me. Should I just try harder? What was I doing wrong?

Actually, the more I visited without much receptive behaviour from her, the more those ugly memories from our past resurfaced and vexed me.

I couldn't help but remember how I visited her Gym more and more often until she snapped and told me to leave. I couldn't help but remember that we went for years without contact.

I told myself that what happened back then didn't matter anymore, all that mattered was what had happened since we reconnected, but I felt myself dwelling on it more and more the less time Erika spent with me.

... But. Now that I think about it, why? What exactly happened between us back then? Ruminating over it again, lying awake at night replaying that day over and over in my head like I used to, it was becoming more and more difficult to avoid thinking about the past and how similar it felt to what was happening now.

I thought the past didn't matter anymore, but maybe that was because I had buried it away. Maybe those years of social isolation just laid in the back of my mind all this time as a constant, subconscious reminder that if I ever messed up, I could be thrust back into the loneliness and emptiness again.

'You have changed though, Sabrina.' Alakazam comforted me one evening as I vented my confusion to him. He was right and he knew me very well, so why was this anxious lost feeling so familiar? Why was I suddenly faced with another situation where I had no idea what the other people in my life were thinking?

"Maybe I have, but if I have changed then why am I suddenly worrying about the past now?" I responded aloud, feeling the need to vocalise my anxiety rather than communicate it via messy and panicked thoughts.

'The past has always mattered, because our experiences inform who we are today. Not just you - one thing you would do well to remember is that social experiences are informed by the individual experiences of everyone involved.'

'Everyone is a product of their past. Everyone has their own unique perspective on a situation that no one, not even someone with telepathy, can hope to fully comprehend.'

'Do you understand what I'm trying to say, Sabrina?'

Everyone is a product of their past.

I had always been overwhelmed enough by my own perspective and had always just assumed that my influence on other peoples' lives was ultimately insignificant.

But... surely I wasn't insignificant to the person who had asked me to date her? To the person who I had now shared many candidly intimate moments with, the person who had said she was _proud of me_.

What's more, _she_ was the one who reconnected with _me_. She chose to open communication with me after being defeated by the Champion. That was... wow, that was about two years ago now actually. That had completely blindsided me at the time and I still didn't really know why it happened.

Was she inspired by the Champion, like I was? Or did the Champion affect her in a completely different way?

Suddenly I felt like I actually didn't know Erika that well. She had taken care of me and escorted me from my dark and lonely shell, but all I had thought about before now was how much I looked up to her. How much she meant to my life.

To be honest, I had not really given serious thought to what had... made her the person she is. Or even really why she had ended up giving me so much attention herself.

I felt stupid that in all my worrying about her and our past, I had never really give much thought to what kind of life she was going through herself. I still felt powerless about it too.

"Hey, what's the deal with Erika's fan anyway?" a Gym Trainer named Julia asked me as Erika faced a challenger one day. "She's been fanning herself almost constantly lately even though the weather's still not great, I asked her what was up but she just laughs me off."

Tina shrugged. "Do you know, Sabrina? You know her a lot better than we do."

Yeah... I had no idea either. I didn't even know that the fan was weird, I thought Erika just liked fanning herself. At first I didn't say anything in response, I just watched Erika with concern.

"Do you think... you guys could help me persuade her to take a day off? So she can visit the National Park in Johto?" I whispered to Tina, figuring I could trust her.

"Oh!" Tina nodded enthusiastically. "She still hasn't had a proper day there yet right? That's a great idea! Make it a date?"

I raised an eyebrow.

"Lately, Erika seems happiest when she knows she's going to see you soon."

Was that really true? I almost couldn't believe it, she seemed increasingly distant all the time lately.

The women in Erika's Gym really were all wonderful people. They all truly cared about her.. and I was starting to get to know them even better than my own Gym Trainers, who still felt more like colleagues to me.

Perhaps it was because I was always at Erika's Gym for personal reasons? Either way, it made me wonder if my Gym Trainers cared for me in a similar way.

With the help of Erika's colleagues, we picked out a day in early summer that fit around her busy schedule - she could finally spend some quality time in the National Park.

We largely did this behind Erika's back, hoping for it to be a pleasant surprise for her. We expected she would try to object, but everyone insisted and eventually Erika backed down and accepted.

I sighed in relief and smiled, it was comforting to be surrounded by people who wanted to help her. I did feel like I was doing the right thing. But..

Erika still felt so far away, it was difficult to feel genuinely good about it when I couldn't read her. She couldn't help but smile sweetly when she found out what we had done for her, but I could tell just from her face that she was heavily fatigued and hesitant about the whole thing.

Well.. hopefully not for long!

...

I sat on a bench in the National Park. I had decided to arrive early because I wanted everything to go smoothly.. and to be honest, I felt extremely restless just waiting in Kanto until Erika was ready.

Over the space of a few weeks, myself and the others at Celadon Gym had gone from just thinking something was off to being quite sincerely worried about Erika. She always looked tired and the people who spent the most time with her could tell the easiest - and she still pretended she was okay.

But even some of the others in our social circles were beginning to notice.

I held a stone up to the sun and gazed into the light that shone through it. It was mystifying and fascinating that this kind of rock and its warm glow was somehow naturally occurring. I knew Erika would appreciate it.

Bugsy, who was a regular patron and events organiser for the National Park, had been asking after Erika too. A week or so ago he asked me how she had been and noted that he hadn't seen her much lately.

Once I told him I had hoped to give her a day off in the National Park and how much she loved the park, he pulled some strings and suggested I give her a Sun Stone as a gift.

"Really? Are you sure you can just give this to me?" I raised an eyebrow as Bugsy insisted I take it.

"Yes! Think of it as a super unofficial thanks from us Johto Gym Leaders for helping us all connect and socialise with you Kanto lot. You're like, the one person she's really close to, right?"

That was yet another thing that I hadn't really thought about before. ' _You're the one person she's close to_ '.

His comment played again in my head as I waited for Erika in the park on that sunny Sunday morning, anxiously anticipating being able to give her the Sun Stone and show her how grateful everyone was to her hard work.

How could I be the person Erika was closest to when we had only been getting closer for the past two years? What about the people she spent time with before that? What about Jasmine?

I twirled the Sun Stone in my hand "If she doesn't have many other people like that herself, then that means.. before we reconnected.. she was..?" I thought aloud.

- _Ring! Ring! Ring!-_

My PokéGear was ringing - and it was Erika. I had no reason to be anxious, but I felt my stomach sink heavily into a pit anyway.

 _-Beep-_

"Hey, what's up sweetie?" I put on a calm and confident charade to hide my anxiety.

"I'm sorry, I'm _really_ sorry Sabrina. Something really nasty has come up and I can't make our date today. I'm sorry!"

My stomach tied itself into knots. I bit my lip and my hair floated a little as the disappointment washed over me, but did my best to avoid expressing my sadness audibly.

"Wh-what? What happened? Is everything okay? Are _you_ okay?" I asked, struggling not to let any panicked intonations escape my mouth.

"It's Celadon City.. there's Grimer and.. I'm so sorry Sabrina, I have to go. You didn't leave yet, right?"

I slipped the Sun Stone into my pocket and stood up from the warmly sunned park bench I was sat on.

"Oh don't worry, I'm still in Kanto. We'll reschedule, so do whatever you need to!" I lied.

"All right, I'm sorry, I'll see you soon sweetie!" she hung up.

I went home, in silence.

 _Dammit_!

Was I being selfish? Was I being unreasonable? I was feeling increasingly lonely but I was convinced that something was wrong with Erika too. Was I worrying for her sake or for mine? It was so confusing! What could I do!?

Normally I may have given up, but Arceus. If anything it was just becoming more and more obvious to me that Erika was a huge part of my life, and that I was actually a big part of hers' too. I wasn't ready to just let things fade away again like they did before. I had grown up! It wouldn't be fair to either of us if I let her isolate herself, or if I ran away.

But what could I do? Erika's colleagues came to _me_ for help and I had no idea! I couldn't even get her out to the National Park... Was there no one else I could turn to?

To be honest, I had not seriously considered going to someone else for help before. I had not really considered who else considered Erika a good friend, but the answer was pretty obvious.

I met Jasmine through Erika and she had become one of the people I was most comfortable calling a friend. She was a kind, gentle person who always made it obvious that she cared about us - both of us. She was.. probably the first person in my life besides Erika that I had thought of so fondly. That meant something, didn't it?

In fact, just after Erika and I started dating, Jasmine uncharacteristically insisted that I could open up to her. That she would be there for me if I needed it.

For someone as shy as Jasmine... that must have taken a lot of courage. It would be rude of me not to take her up on that, right?

I swallowed my pride. No, that's not quite right. 'Pride' felt almost like a foreign concept to me now. I didn't care about pretending I was strong, I just wanted help. I wanted _to_ help. I wanted a voice of reason.

The moment I dialled Jasmine's number into the video phone and saw her face that evening, I knew I'd make the right decision. I seriously didn't realise how much comfort I found in Jasmine and her voice until just now. It felt like I hadn't spoken to her in ages.

"Sabrina! Good evening!" she beamed warmly at me, her sweet and kind demeanour soothing my rigid soul. "Th-this is a pleasant surprise, how are you?"

Oh yeah... Jasmine had given me her number, but this was probably the first time I had ever actually called it. Despite that, she didn't make a big deal out of it. She immediately helped me feel comfortable.

"I..." I smiled and swallowed, but struggled to keep up my composure. "I'm not doing so good, actually." I bit my lip. Jasmine looked at me, tilting her head sadly.

"Jasmine, Erika, I'm really worried about Erika and I don't know what to do?" I strung my thoughts together into a half-competant sentence.

Jasmine rubbed her elbow and averted her eyes. "I-I see.. Mm.." she looked at me again. "I had noticed she was behaving differently if that's what you mean, but did not want to make something out of it.. what happened?"

"I.. don't know.. I don't know.. she's being so distant and I don't know how to help her when she won't even talk to me."

Jasmine awkwardly tilted her head the other direction, her long fine hair flopping over her shoulder. She sighed, evidently a little stressed by the conversation. "I-I'm not sure how to say this.. Sabrina, if she's being distant you should try to close that gap. Even if it means like.. c-confronting her, directly."

I gulped and bit my lip again "I've asked her.. she won't talk to me."

"P-please don't take this the wrong way, I mean like.. like you need to be more assertive. Don't give up when she says she's fine?"

I blinked, feeling more anxious. "What if that makes things worse?"

"S-Sabrina.." Jasmine sighed "I know why you're worried.. but you have to remember that Erika cares about you. Everyone knows that. Communication is s-still a two-way street though, it's super important that two people in any kind of relationship reach out to one another at times like this."

"You.. you really think it could be that simple?" I muttered meekly, still a little intimidated by the idea of taking an assertive tone with Erika. What if I ruined everything?

She huffed a laugh "W-well uhm.. y-you won't know until you try, right? No matter what, it's still true that a relationship can't grow unless both people try to trust each other and communicate.. communication is so important here."

I paused, taking a deep breath in to collect myself. I wiped my eyes and gently patted myself on the cheeks. Jasmine smiled fondly at me, helping me to feel secure about the conversation.

"Jasmine how.. how are you so insightful about things like this? You talk like you're good with people but you... you're..." I hesitated to finish my sentence, realising I had potentially worded it in a hurtful way.

"Shy?" she giggled "I-it's okay, it is true that I'm shy. I just spend so much time with my cherished Pokémon, creatures I can't easily communicate with. As a result, I-I just kind of.. started to understand what is important about making communication work."

Once again impressed with how mature she was for her age, I sighed and relaxed into a fond smile, hoping to show her my gratitude. "Thank you... sincerely, Jasmine. I'm really glad I decided to speak with you."

"O-oh! It's nothing! I uh... maybe next time you don't have to call under serious circumstances? It's okay if you just want to have a casual chat, too!" she grinned familiarly and I relaxed further.

"I think I'll take you up on that... and hopefully we'll see you soon, in brighter spirits."

We bid each other good night, and I swiftly decided that tomorrow would be the day I confronted Erika. This time, I didn't plan on leaving until I got something out of her.


	17. (Erika)

_**(Notes:**_ ** _Can anyone say Title Drop Trope? /Main/TitleDrop_**

 ** _If you couldn't tell from the title alone, this is one of the most important chapters in the whole story. Everything has been leading up to this. I finally got to delve into Erika, something I've been wanting to do since i started this story._**

 ** _More than anything, I hope this flows well and is realistic. It may seem a bit much to suddenly be loaded with so much Erika development in just one chapter, but sometimes things don't change until they hit boiling point._**

 ** _The next chapter is the final chapter of part 1 and is a majorly important one - one of the chapters I'd had as a concept since I came up with this story. Look forward to it!)_**

* * *

On Monday morning I made my way to Celadon Gym, bright and early. I had closed my Gym for the day - because this was simply more important. Closing my Gym for the day no longer felt like a big deal, but Erika still made sure to work every day she could.

It was weird, it almost felt like we had swapped roles over the past year since she originally managed to convince me to close my Gym on Wednesdays.

Being assertive, communicating. I could do this, right?

"Oooh good morning Sabrina!" said the overly familiar old man as I made my way through the Gym's doors. "Good morning." I responded apathetically, gliding past him.

"Pardon the intrusion." I muttered to myself. I was never here as a challenger after all, nor as a colleague. I simply hung around - like a delinquent teenager. Heh. Maybe that's what I was.

I caught Beauty Trainer Julia pulling a weirdly disgusted face as she watched me walk in. "Did that weird old man like, seriously greet you familiarly?"

I blinked. "Yeah. Why, does he bother you?"

Julia pouted and crossed her arms. "To be honest, he does a bit yeah. And I'm not the only one, one of the newer Trainers, Michelle, tries to arrive extra early or come to work with me just so she doesn't have to put up with him looking at her."

I frowned. All this time I thought I was being unreasonable to find him irritating. "Have you.. told Erika about this?"

"Yeah..." Tina joined the conversation, just wrapping up a battle with a challenger. "You already know what Erika thinks about this, huh Sabrina?"

I went a little red in the face and Tina laughed in an awkward, apologetic sort of way. Tina probably remembered my outburst years ago and it was humiliating to think back on.

"I bet you and the others from back then stopped thinking of me as 'cool' after that day." I smiled back at Tina awkwardly. She frowned, looking a little melancholy and worried.

"You okay? I didn't mean to bring that up."

"Yes yes, don't worry." I shook my head and smiled.

Tina sighed in relief "Back then, some of the Gym Trainers, myself included, told Erika that you had a point about the old man.. None of us have ever really liked him creeping around like that." she gazed out the window in frustration. "Erika honestly doesn't like it either. She's just.. too nice. She refuses to inconvenience anyone."

"She inconvenienced you the other day, didn't she Sabrina?" Julia frowned. Everyone looked at her awkwardly. There was definitely a gloomy vibe in the air. "I-I mean.. don't get me wrong it's horrible that Grimer and Muk suddenly started to appear in greater numbers here.. but still.."

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and sighed. I was really glad they were empathetic towards me, but this mood was just too depressing. "Whatever it is that's happening with Erika, I want to talk to her about it today. I'm making it my business."

Tina's expression notably brightened as she beamed at me. Julia grinned too. "We're counting on you then.. for today just make yourself at home, no matter what Erika says."

"Make it up to me by taking care of some of Erika's obligations later, that way she'll have nothing to run away to." I winked reassuringly and gave them a thumbs up.

They blinked at me, a little wide-eyed.

"Forget about the past, Sabrina. You're definitely still extremely cool." Tina praised, making me blush. "Yeah, you're definitely a celeb Gym Leader." Julia laughed.

Geez. Okay then.

I spent the day at Celadon Gym as intended. I tried to speak with Erika a few times, but despite her face-value friendliness she was quiet and standoffish. Instead, I chatted with the Gym Trainers during their downtime between battles.

"Hey, Tina.." I mumbled as the day drew to an end and the Trainers all began to wrap up. "When did Erika get a Jumpluff?"

Tina pouted in concern. "Uh.. about a month ago. She never told you?"

"No.. I usually love to hear her excited rants about Grass Pokémon.." I pouted.

"Hey, we're going to go help deal with the Grimer stuff in the east of the city." Julia walked up to Tina and I, with Michelle trailing her like a puppy. "Tanya had to do errands so she can't come, but the three of us should be enough right?"

Tina nodded confidently. "Of course!" she turned around and gave me a thumbs up. "We'll leave Erika in your capable hands, tell her that we'll have the situation under control!"

I winked back at her as they left, suddenly leaving the Gym mostly empty besides Erika and I.

Here we go.

"What are you lot conspiring about.." Erika approached me, grinning behind her hand fan as she locked up. "I'm really happy to see you getting along well with everyone."

I smiled at her gently, but my insides were knotted up with anxiety. I was glad Erika wasn't telepathic but she was still better at reading peoples' body language than I was. "They're all wonderful people, and they care about you a lot."

"I suppose they do." Erika turned to tend to some of the plants, definitely appearing to be in a rush. "Sorry sweetie, I don't think I can stick around and chat today either.. there's been a Grimer outbreak to the east of the City and I really need to keep it under control."

I composed myself and cleared my mind. "Actually, the girls wanted me to tell you that they'll handle that for you today.. so you can have a little more time to yourself."

Erika's eyes lidded from behind her fan. "I-I see.. in that case, I should get to Viridian City."

I crossed my arms, tapping my elbow and grinning. "Weren't you there pretty much all of Saturday?"

Erika turned away from me, gripping her fan tightly in her hand.

"What are you, stalking me or something? Taking notes of everything I do?"

I winced and clenched my fists slightly. I was increasingly worrying about making a mistake or saying the wrong thing but I tried to maintain my composure. Years of resting bitch face had prepared me for moments like this! If I couldn't fake confidence now of all times then what good was my act as the cool and collected Mistress of Psychic Pokémon?

I crossed my arms. "Since you're not looking after yourself and not letting anyone else look after you, maybe that's what I have to do."

Erika fell silent and looked away from me. "I'm sorry, Sabrina. I really am. I shouldn't have said that but it's true that I'm too busy, you should probably just go home for today."

I approached her and stood behind her. Even though she was a fair bit taller than me, she looked so small and tired all the time recently.

"I won't." I planted myself resolutely. "Erika, everyone's worried about you. This isn't just about us - but even if it was you need to talk to me. Let me be a part of this."

She hesitantly turned to face me, standing herself up straighter and staring at me pleasantly, but still hiding her mouth behind that fan. "Sabrina, I told you I'm fine.. I'm just so busy. I'm so busy! If everyone just let me do my work everything would go back to normal eventually."

"I don't believe you. And even if I did, you still need to talk to me. Tell me what's wrong, what's happening in your head. Let me help, I want to support you!" I locked eyes with her in concern, but she broke eye contact and looked away, fanning herself.

I felt like I wasn't making any progress. I was becoming more panicked.

"Please take me seriously, Erika. Can't you at least put that fan away while we're talking?"

"N-no."

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow and grabbed the hand she held her fan in. "Why are you always hiding your face from me like that? You don't need to hide anything from me! Please!"

"Ugh, let go of me!" Erika pulled her hand back. I reached after her, staring, as my stomach churned over and over in anxiety. I suddenly felt like I was making a mistake I could never take back.

"Erika...!"

"Why are you making such a big deal about the fan, Sabrina? Why does it matter? If you want me to put it away so much, why don't you make me?"

"E-Erika... Wh-what...?"

"Use your psychic powers and make me! In fact, why don't you just read my mind!? I'm sure that would be much easier for you than dealing with this waste of time!"

For the first time since we reconnected, I was rendered utterly shell-shocked.

I knew I had made myself intentionally vulnerable, but wow. Just like that, her words undermined me effortlessly and completely. I was wholly unprepared. I flinched, jerking my outstretched hand back from her and holding it back to my chest defensively, staring at her wide-eyed and biting my lip. Tears quickly welled up, but my eyes were fixed open and I couldn't blink.

"Is... is that what you think of me after all...?"

"I-I..." Erika stifled, her voice suddenly struggling to escape from her throat. Her eyes glazed over as she desperately avoided looking back into the eyes staring at her. "I-I'm.."

I glared dead into her. No 'psychic powers'. Just my eyes, reddened from tears, just my quivering lips, just my shaking shoulders. I felt like screaming, but instead deeply buried insecurities began to pour from me in words - at first within a charade of composure.

"I had hoped you would know me better by now.. how much I hate the thought of doing anything like psychic manipulation to even a stranger, let alone someone I lo-... c-care about."

I bit my tongue and forced back the words of adoration that pushed to escape. I bitterly refused to give her the pleasure.

Erika's eyes widened, distraught, her eyes filling with tears too. She meekly reached out to me.

It was too late though, I felt my self slipping away. I escalated my voice in a futile effort to shout over my loud and complicated feelings. I wanted to ignore them. I was so upset. Angry. I felt betrayed by the person I had built up to be my everything. My vision of Erika blurred as tears rose up below my eyelids and my mind became overwhelmed. Not again. Not again..

"B-but hey, maybe it's understandable that no one can feel safe around me. Maybe I was born to either push everyone away or be a commodity of entertainment.

I briefly dared to think I could be more than that. B-but if you of all people are that scared of me, if you think I'm that dangerous, maybe it really would be better if I just slithered back into my shell after all? Like I did the last time I became a problem for you? That way I wouldn't be such a danger to anyone anymore!?"

Now practically screaming I gasped for air in between sobs as insecurities erupted from my throat and my head thumped increasingly loudly. I was visibly shaking and struggling to keep my mind above water, let alone stand up straight. My lip was bleeding. I felt myself sinking back into the lonely abyss I had spent the last two years slowly crawling out from. I felt my hair sticking up on end as my emotions overpowered me. I couldn't do this. Just one sign of distrust from my girlfriend was enough to send me completely over the edge like this? Pathetic. Pathetic! Yeah. No one should trust anyone with powers like these, huh.

I heard a faint clacking sound of something falling, followed by a sharp, choked up breath in. I gradually felt warmth surrounding me, a hand gripping mine, a damp softness against my face. I fell silent.

"S-Sabrina!" she wept, holding me tightly. "Sabrina, Sabrina I'm sorry. I'm so... so sorry." she tightened her grip around my body, pushing her face to mine. We slipped to the ground and knelt together on the floor. "Sabrina.." she stroked my hair and kissed my tear-soaked cheek. "Sabrina, I just want you to nod if you're listening, all right?"

I nodded weakly. She gasped in relief through muttered chokes. I breathed in deeply between weeps as I tried to calm and clear my thumping head again. She hugged my head, held it to her shoulder. Her fan was on the ground. Tears streamed from her eyes, her breaths were scattered and heavy.

"Sabrina I-I..." she breathed in deeply, squeezing me. "I'm not scared of you... I've never, _ever,_ been scared of you. I've been so obtusely fixated on just me... and I foolishly lost myself in a moment of frustration and weakness. I said something that made light of your fears, fears I knew about..." she paused and buried her face in my neck. I felt my clothes dampen.

"I said something with the intent to h-hurt you without considering the real consequences, a-and regretted it the moment I realised it had reached your ears. I did something horrible to you because I refused to face my own issues."

She wiped my eyes with her fingers before taking my cheeks in her hands and staring into my eyes. Her eyes were red. Her lips were shaking and dry.

"I'm sorry..." she bit her lip, her eyes welling up again as she forced herself to look at me without averting her eyes this time. "I underestimated how much words could hurt and now that I've done it I feel sick. I never, never ever, want to do that to you again. E-even if you don't want to forgive me."

"E-Erika..." I choked. My arms hung limply by my sides. My hair started to float back down to my shoulders as my head quietened down. "W-why...?"

"It's my fault... it's just like you said... I haven't been taking care of myself or anyone I love. When I'm overwhelmed I want to isolate myself until I'm good enough to be the person I'm supposed to be again. Until I can be strong and mature and reliable again."

Finally finding some strength in my arms, I rubbed my own eyes and sat myself more comfortably. Sitting like an awkward mess on the floor was killing the blood flow to my feet. I continued to stare at Erika as my eyes slowly ran out of tears and my weeps quieted. I had never seen her eyes this red. I had never seen her looking this tired. I had never seen her lips shaking like that.

After a brief silence, I finally scrambled some words together.

"I-I just... I don't understand why you couldn't tell me these things even after I opened up to you so much myself. What am I to you if you can't t-trust me?" My voice was still shaken, but after coming down slightly from my panic attack part of me thought I had little left to lose. I still wanted to understand her. Like I had for years.

Erika held my hands in hers' and huffed a laugh in between sniffs. She played with my fingers and opened her mouth, but it took a few moments for anything to come out.

"Yeah... it's hypocritical but I was... scared to open up..." she looked at our hands to distract herself, again hesitant to look me in the eyes. "Since we reconnected, since we started dating, I thought it would be easiest for both of us if I was always the assertive and strong one for you. Someone you could rely on and feel safe around. I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend, that felt safest for me, too. But in my head? It meant you absolutely couldn't see me like this."

"You always seemed perfect to me.." I instinctively replied.

She scoffed. "Then I was a good actor! Do you seriously still believe that? After what just happened?" she brought one of her hands back and ashamedly dragged it along her eye and temple, sobbing quietly with regretful frustration.

"It's j-just an act, Sabrina. I pretend I'm in control because being reliable and 'perfect' is all I have. It's all I've ever had. If I'm not reliable, I'm nothing. I'm useless."

I opened my mouth to argue but she sternly held her hand in front of my face. "Please, don't argue."

In response, I whimpered. She offered a weak smile as her tears welled up again.

"I'm not nearly as strong as you think I am. I use that fan as a literal mask and put on a fake strong front in social situations. I just.. hide my face when I'm anxious or when I'm shaking so no one can tell.. I-I use my nervous tick to hide all my other nervous ticks!" she forced an awkward, wistful laugh "If I lose control... if something goes wrong... even if I'm just outside Celadon City, the only place where I actually feel like I have any kind of control over anything, I genuinely c-can't handle it.

And despite that weakness, I've never learnt how to say no. I'm so desperate to be useful and responsible and helpful that I say yes to anyone who needs anything. I organise everyone. I unquestionably take on projects thinking yes! Sure, I can handle this! And maybe I can sometimes, but other times I'm just silently screaming for help because I have never learnt how to actually ask for it."

Tears streamed down Erika's cheeks as she finally looked at me again, a weak smile on her face. I remembered the day she asked me about Viridian Forest and my heart sunk.

"You... the day you were asked to help with Viridian Forest, you were looking for me to tell you to take a break, weren't you?"

Erika frowned "Don't, don't you dare take the blame for that. It's my fault if I can't say no, it's my fault trying to use you as an escape because I was a workaholic trying to make everyone happy all the time."

I tried to force a smile. "And that's... why you let that old man stick around? Even though he makes everyone in the Gym uncomfortable...?"

Erika laughed meekly and nodded. "Yeah, yeah." she wiped her eyes "I hate that stupid, creepy old man." she laughed again "I hate how he makes everyone feel, but I have to be polite, I have to be proper, and helpful, and perfect."

I grimaced as I pieced together Erika's own self-image issues, which she had hidden from me for so long. I had idolised her so much that I never even imagined she felt these things about herself. I stroked her cheek and ran some fingers through her hair. She held her hand to mine and let out a quiet sob.

"Sabrina... I-I..." she took a deep breath "Forgive me for being selfish, but I still have to make sure you know what you really are to me. Even if you think I'm fake or you can't trust me or you don't believe me because of what I just did, you have to know that what we've been through together has always been real."

I gulped anxiously but the thumping in my head was gone as Erika tenderly hugged my hand to her face. Instead, the thumping had moved down to my chest. It was incessant, but it was warm. "Erika..." I bit my lip.

Erika nodded. "You're my precious, celebrity crush girlfriend who I coolly asked out and then cried about later because I was so happy. You're also one of closest friends I've ever had. I would never see you as dangerous, because there's no one who makes me feel as safe as you do." she kissed my hand and leant her head into it, her mouth trembling and her voice growing shakier. "A-all the fun stuff and laughter, the tea, the dates, the afternoons in my Gym, they were all real to me, as real as I've ever been. You got to know the real me and that made everything feel worth it."

I knew that already... of course I did. yeah I was upset, yeah I was hurt, but I couldn't even entertain the thought that what we had wasn't real. Sometimes it felt like we were the only two people on Earth, and I was content with it. Those moments were a magic that no act could replicate. I smiled meekly through my blushing, trying to maintain eye contact with her as she continued.

"Even the stressful stuff like going to Johto.. being with you made it so much more bearable and easier for me to relax. I can't really put into words just how much much nicer your mere presence makes obligations like that, just how much you enrich my life. I've really loved almost every second I've spent with you."

"Almost?" I smirked shyly and gave her face a gentle rub, sensing an opportunity to lighten the mood slightly. "Like besides when you gave yourself a hard time about the Clair thing?

She groaned "You remember that?"

"How could I not remember that you took that brat's rant more personally than I did? Especially since you just said you do anything anyone asks of you.. that's exactly what she said I was doing."

"Ugh.." Erika huffed and hid her face in my neck "I was so ashamed and worried that I was just turning you into another me.. making you feel obligated to do things.. dragging you along on fool's errands because I didn't know how to say no.."

"Shush." I frowned and stroked her hair. "I genuinely wanted to do those things! Making myself try new things is helping me to grow up and change as a person. Even with the drama and the stress.." I lifted her head up to face me and stared into her eyes determinedly. She stared back, wide-eyed. After a few moments her face became several shades redder.

"Sabrina.. you know you're the only person who regularly catches me off guard like that right? Y-you're.. I.." she sighed irritably. "Y-your eyes are so.."

She placed her hands on mine and awkwardly nibbled her lip, evidently struggling to keep our eyes locked and fumbling over her words. "A-ah geeze Sabrina.. do I seriously have to spell it out for you?"

I kept my eyes locked with hers', but I was becoming increasingly red-faced myself. I couldn't remember the last time my heart had raced this fast.. "E-Erika..?" I muttered, stroking her hands reassuringly. Her eyes began to well up with tears again as she took a sharp, determined breath in.

"Sabrina I... I l-love you. I'm in love with you. And I feel like I have been for a really long time.

I can't believe it's taken so long for me to say that and I wish from the bottom of my heart I had said it long before I hurt you today and possibly lost the chance of ever hearing you say you love me b-back." her voice cracked and squeaked towards the end there - but I quickly rushed to hold her face in my hand and push my forehead affectionately right into hers.

She felt for my hand and intertwined her fingers with mine. She finally stared into my eyes without difficulty, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

I opened my mouth to say something but only an emotional squeak came out. I squeezed her hand in mine as I wrapped my mind around what she had said. My body felt red hot and overwhelmed tears trickled down my cheeks again, but this time I was.. really.. really happy.

"O-of course I love you back! E-Erika... of course I love you. Even when I'm angry with you or don't understand you, I love you! You're... you're like, everything..." I laughed awkwardly and smiled sweetly at her, realising I was really struggling to put my feelings into words. "A-and.. you don't have to keep punishing yourself like this either.. I forgive you, dummy."

"Don't be silly!" Erika pouted, her face adorably close to mine. She was still so worried about hurting me but at this point I honestly just wanted to pinch her cheeks. "Just because I went mushy on you doesn't mean you have to forgive me. I betrayed your trust and your feelings when you were trying to help me?"

I squeezed her hand tighter and pecked her cheek affectionately. "Yes I'm still hurt, but I haven't been a perfect girlfriend either. We've been dating for almost a year and I had no idea what you were going through... you should have talked to me, but I should have talked to you sooner too.

Besides, if you really love me then you aren't going anywhere. There's plenty of time in the future for us to be mad together and help each other get through these things."

She huffed "Yeah, okay you win." She sighed and relaxed her head against mine slightly. "You're too nice to me honey.. you keep making excuses for me, but.." She let go of my hand, which was probably because it was starting to feel clammy, though she was evidently still burdened with worries. "I just.. I seriously can't begin to imagine what you see in me to begin with. My perfection is all an act and there's nothing actually interesting about me. I'm just a girl who likes plants.. but you're like, genuinely really cool? You're special, everyone admires you..."

Did I really 'win'? Arceus, did she really believe what she was saying? I blinked in disbelief as I watched her sad, self-doubting eyes. "Everyone admires _you_. I always have..."

"B-but Why!?" Erika yelped, clinging to my torso "All I do is pretend to be perfect, it's all I can do just to make up for being so boring. So dull. You're so popular, you act like you're not but I really am dating like, a celebrity! You know?

But me? I refuse to even be seen by anyone without makeup and a kimono on, because that way I know at least if someone calls me plain or ugly, it's my fault."

"P-plain...?" I covered my mouth with my hand in shock. Ugly!? "Really?" I grasped her face in my hands and looked at her sternly. "Y-you're kidding. Right?"

"Wh-what?" she stared at me pink-faced and pouting. "Don't make fun of me."

Oh Arceus, she was serious? What?

"Erika, do you remember at school I used to stare at you all the time? You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen! You made every room you entered glow with life, your eyes and hair sparkled in the sunlight _and_ moonlight! Every time you talked about the beauty of nature and Grass Pokémon, all I could think about was how it made you just look even more beautiful!"

Erika stared at me, her mouth agape and quivvering adorably. I had... never ever seen her face this red.

"Back in school... you remember all that? Do you even remember how I awkwardly tried to sit with you and everything?"

"Uh, _yeah_!" I nodded fervently "They were some of the happiest days of my whole childhood even if I didn't know what you were trying to do! Did you know that no one ever actually tried to be my friend back then?"

Erika raised an embarrassed eyebrow. "W-wait... really? But you were so popular..."

I shook my head. "It sure did not feel that way! Everyone was just scared of me. It felt like you were the only person who wasn't... w-well for the most part." I blurted without thinking.

Erika stared into my eyes sadly. "I uh..." then averted her gaze. "I'm sorry... for everything... I've made so many stupid mistakes since we met, I even pushed you away those years ago... and then thought I could make it up to you by pretending I was more reliable than I actually am. I still can't imagine why you love me despite always hiding so much from you. Even if you tell me you, like... found me pretty."

"Beautiful." I smirked.

"Wh-whatever!" she pouted but couldn't help but smile. And I smiled back.

This was good! It felt like it had taken a while to get here, but the mood was finally lighter, we were opening up to each other, and we were in love!? Just, wow!

"Okay then! Actually, you know what?" I sniffed and rubbed my eyes dry, then clapped my hands to my own cheeks to wake myself up. I felt a sudden surge of optimism well up inside me. "Let's talk about all of that! I'm _done_ pretending the past never happened and I want us to understand each other more than ever. If I put on some tea, will you make all this up to me by spending the evening talking to me about... like... everything?"

Erika smiled, her mouth taking a sweet, but shaky v shape as she began to stand up and dry her own eyes. "All right honey.. but only if I get to make the tea."


	18. (Sabrina)

_**(Notes: Here it is.. t** **he final chapter. And it's mostly from Erika's perspective.**_

 _ **I tried to make it more obvious when Erika was telling her story for a while by using bold.**_

 _ **Since this is the last chapter for now, there will be more notes at the end. Thank you so much for reading this far!)**_

* * *

 _ **x**_

* * *

"Where to begin? Let's start at the very beginning then."

 **'I was born in Celadon City to a wealthy and respected family. I was a healthy baby girl who immediately found an affinity with things like flowers and cute animals...**

 **Okay you know those faint, lingering memories you have of your earliest years? Nostalgic associations with sights and scents? The earliest thing I can recall is a smell... a flower? Perfume? I'm still not sure what exactly it was.**

 **My family owns a perfume business as I'm sure you already know, so unfortunately I simply can't place whether my memory of that smell came from a perfume or the flower the perfume was made with.**

 **There used to be so, so many flowers in Celadon, did you know that? Near my family mansion there was a field of them... but throughout my childhood I saw the flowers and plant-life around the mansion and the rest of the city slowly shrivel away and die.**

 ** _Ahem_ , anyway.**

 **My first word was-'**

"Maybe... maybe we don't need to go _that_ far back." Sabrina playfully poked at my hairband by lifting her teaspoon with her telekinesis. Adorable. She was leaning on my table, her chin in her palm, her deep magenta eyes staring dotingly into mine.

I was still anxious and on-edge from earlier and my heart was throbbing in what felt like the pits of my stomach. I was still biting my dried and chapped lips. I subconsciously reached for my fan, but it wasn't there. Sabrina had convinced me to put it away for now. Instead I fidgeted with my teacup and struggled to maintain contact with her gorgeous eyes.

I think the only thing helping me keep it together at that point was Sabrina's protective presence. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so socially vulnerable and weak.

A lock of her cool, steel-blue hair slipped down in front of her face and she subconsciously puffed it away. That's another habit of hers' I've always found so... cool. It's like she doesn't even know she's doing it, but it makes her look like an action movie star.

I giggled gently but slightly awkwardly. "Don't worry, don't worry... I was kidding. I wondered how long it would take you to notice."

"The anecdote about the smell of flowers was really interesting..." she mused dreamily, reassuring me, "I just love it when you get all lost in thought about nature and stuff, so I wanted to hear more."

When she said things like that I found it much easier to believe she cared, though I admittedly still struggled to understand why.

I took in a deep breath, grasping my cup of hot tea tightly in my hands to calm myself. I stared her back in her beautiful, protective eyes. Eyes that placed a trust in me I didn't feel like I deserved. I allowed myself to trust her in return before I continued.

"So... school. We first met in Trainer School. I was in the year above you, so we didn't share any classes. But I remember the first time I saw you pretty well... b-because. Ah..."

"I-it's okay." Sabrina fumbled, twirling a teaspoon in her hand. She went slightly pink. "I knew this was coming, but you know more about my 'incidents' than anyone else and that's probably how it should be, considering our relationship. It's really okay, I promise."

"R-right..." I sighed and continued.

 **'The other kids and teachers all said that it was your powers that broke the windows that day. Some of them were really quite rude about it too..**

 **I was simply walking through with some of my classmates when it happened, but the noise was loud and I was admittedly really shocked...**

 **I thought a young Pokémon had accidentally let off a powerful attack nearby, because when I noticed you there with your hair stood up and your hands covering your face, you looked more scared than anyone else in that room.'**

"A young Pokémon losing control would have been much cuter. That's so like you." Sabrina beamed. I felt my uneasy stomach warm a little at her expression. "Never doubt your own cuteness while I'm around." I grinned meekly back.

Sabrina leant her mouth into her palm and blushed before getting her own back on me. "Anyway, did you know that my powers became overwhelmed because I was so shocked by how beautiful you were?"

I felt my face go bright red and I stared down at my teacup. "Y-you're k-kidding... please don't joke about that kind of thing sweetie..."

Sabrina's hand grasped mine reassuringly from across the table. She ran a thumb against my hand, beckoning me to look back at her.

"I'm not kidding. I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and mentally I didn't handle it so well, because suddenly life seemed more complicated to me than it had ever been before."

"L-like... love at first sight?" I blinked, wide-eyed, my face becoming even redder and my head feeling increasingly hot as I ran over the possibility that the coolest girl I had ever met immediately thought that I, of all people, was that beautiful to her.

Sabrina smirked and sighed coolly "Not quite... it was more like inspiration. Your healthy and bright aura alone convinced me that there was this whole other side to life, besides studying and talent. It made me seriously think about things like friendship and cherishing for the first time."

"Aura? Like the way a Lucario supposedly sees a person's aura?"

"I dunno... Maybe? I think being a psychic does mean I can easily read the vibes other people give off, yours was just... overwhelmingly kind and bright. I tried to ignore it, but long story short I couldn't. Anyway, go on!" she nodded enthusiastically.

I gently tried to shake off some of the flattery and continued, despite my racing heart.

 **'S-so yeah... that first time I saw you was really memorable to say the least. To be honest I had been hoping to see you again just to make sure you were okay, no matter what other people said about you. I couldn't stop worrying about if you were hurt or scared.**

 **The next time I saw you though, you seemed like a different person. You were surrounded by kids, older than you, younger than you, all buzzing excitedly. I could barely get a look in! But Arceus you appeared to handle it all so calmly, signing autographs and answering all those questions like they didn't bug you...**

 **I know now that they _did_ bug you, but back then I had no idea and I didn't know you were so lonely, either... All I knew was that you stood out unlike anyone I had ever seen. You _really were_ pretty too, your hair and eyes were like... otherworldly. The way you always locked eyes with me was captivating, mystifying... and... w-well.'**

I suddenly became self-conscious of Sabrina's deep gaze. She continued to stare into me, unblinking, while I blinked a bunch and struggled to maintain eye-contact. "..So did you... notice me, staring back at you?"

"Of course I did." Sabrina giggled "I-I uh... didn't exactly try very hard to hide my staring in the end, sorry."

I shook my head and beamed at her "No, it's fine! I kind of figured... at first I thought it was rude to stare back but you made me feel so... special? And on top of the fascination I felt towards you, I felt like I was happy to return your invitation."

She smiled warmly back at me, squeezing my hand again. "That's a relief. I had always hoped it was something like that to be honest. Sorry... I always really wanted to talk to you, to do anything but stare, but my social skills sucked. We were awkward kids." she laughed a little meekly.

I giggled and squeezed her hand back. I wiped a loose tear from my eye. "We were! And I really struggled to act like I did around most of my classmates or friends because I had like, the biggest crush on you?"

I felt Sabrina's hands go a little clammy and her face went red. So cute...

"R-really? Even back then, when I was a wimpy little kid?"

"Yes! Actually, a lot of the kids had celebrity crushes on you, myself included, because you always seemed really cool and scary, and never wimpy. Once I felt like you were giving me attention though... Arceus, it was really difficult to keep you out of my mind.

I would lie awake at night daydreaming about doing things like holding hands with you, being carried by you, going to the school dance with you and sharing my first kiss with you... and... other things."

I felt like I could see steam tumbling out of Sabrina's red ears, her mouth hung open and her eyes glazed over. I couldn't help but grin with glee, and gave her hand a small tug. "C'mere." I leaned over the table and gave her a quick peck on the lips, stroking her hair reassuringly.

She kissed me back and shot me a wobbly melted smile, before awkwardly taking a sip of her tea.

"We... we already did most of those things but hearing you say that is..." her fringe covered her flustered face and she squeaked quietly. "I'm uh... I'm sorry we couldn't do the school dance though."

I smiled sheepishly and tilted my head. "It's all right, we were probably too awkward to start dating even if our families didn't remove us from school..."

I saw Sabrina pout and sigh as she leant on her hand again. "Actually I uhm... I've always wanted to know how you reacted to me being taken out of school. I felt like we had like... a schedule of some kind or something, and I was taken away from it." she slumped into her arms and hid her face. "I... always wondered if it hurt. And thinking about that hurt me too."

I gave Sabrina's arm a gentle rub and squeezed it. "It sucked. It really, really sucked. I was already having a really bad week because I knew my family intended to withdraw me soon too... but I definitely remember bawling my eyes out wondering if I'd ever see you again.

I imagine it felt a little like how being dumped would feel? But I was admittedly relieved that you were taken from me, and not the other way around."

Sabrina pouted, resting her adorable pretty head on her arm on the table and staring at me, a few tears gathering in her eyes. "Why... do you say that?"

"Why do you think?" I giggled awkwardly. "Because it sucked, and I would rather feel like that myself than have you go through it."

"Erika..." Sabrina frowned, her lip quivering a little "That doesn't seem fair on yourself."

"You'd think the same thing in my situation though, wouldn't you? That's just how it is with love sometimes."

I noticed Sabrina bite her lip and avert her gaze from me briefly. Her face turned a few shades pinker. "W-well I... I at least hope neither of us ever finds out what getting dumped actually feels like."

I gripped my teacup in my hands as my heart skipped a beat, the heat rushing from my cup up through my arms and to my flustered head. I beamed affectionately at her. "Y-yeah.. I really hope not either."

A kind of intoxicatingly sweet and fluffy mood briefly filled the air after that, as her words moved in and settled at home in my head. The thought that she still wanted to be with me for as long as possible despite what I did made me feel like the future could be wonderful if I didn't somehow ruin it. The mere hint that I could spend the rest of my life with her was...

That mushy high faded after a few minutes, and we both giggled awkwardly. I decided to break the silence by asking something I was curious about.

"So uh... wh-while we're on the subject of childhood crushes, when did you realise you liked me?" I nervously averted my gaze again, looking at my almost empty teacup and distracting myself by refilling it from the pot.

Still pink, Sabrina tapped her finger on the table. "Don't laugh."

"I wouldn't dare, but I can't promise I won't find it cute."

She smiled meekly "Ahh fine..." and paused. "I-I uh... to tell the truth, I didn't fully comprehend my feelings towards you until you kissed me."

I blinked wide-eyed, trying not to choke on my hot tea. My face reddened again, the room really did feel extremely hot. I felt a twinge of guilt. "R-really? Goodness Sabrina, I'm so sorry if it seemed like I pressured you into that with how assertive I was being. I took all the signals of our intimacy and-..."

Sabrina shook her head and waved her hands. "No no, shh." she giggled, relaxing a little. "No, without your assertive friendship and you declaring we were dating none of this would have happened. I may never have realised."

She tilted her head and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought as my mouth hung open in embarrassment. She then continued her thought. "You kissing me and me realising that my feelings for you were romantic, was one of the most emotionally enriching and happiest moments of my whole life... and I'm pretty sure you asked me if I was comfortable and I told you I wanted to be closer to you anyway." she smiled at me sheepishly "I mean... we're both awkward young adults, right? We worked with the messy signals we had... please don't feel bad, I really did need you to kiss me that day."

I held my hand over my chest and breathed a small sigh of relief, though I was still embarrassed. "In that case... that is _really_ cute."

Sabrina rubbed the back of her head, going a little pink again. "I mean like... It felt like something I had always wanted, but I'm afraid I can't pinpoint when exactly my feelings of admiration for you became romantic."

"That's okay!" I beamed at her "It's not really important, I was just curious! I'm still surprised you weren't put off of me by some of the things I've done." I pouted, gripping my cup tightly again as my stomach tied itself in knots and I remembered what we were really here to talk about.

Sabrina huffed a gentle smile at me, helping me to feel at ease in her presence again. "Take your time. No matter what happened in the past, I've fallen in love with you in the present."

"Ahh g-geez..." I went bright red again, fighting back the urge to hide my awkward, ugly mouth with my fan. I composed myself with a sip of tea. "A-all right, let's see..."

 **'After we left school, I didn't see you again for years... and after a few years of home schooling and behavioural lessons I was able to swiftly succeed as the new Gym Leader of Celadon City Gym.**

 **With my knowledge of Grass Type Pokémon and plants it wasn't at all difficult - what was truly intimidating was my self-set challenge of trying to restore Celadon City's natural side after years of intensifying pollution. In the years since I became this city's Gym Leader I've felt like I'm engulfed in a war between industrialisation and the fading cries of nature.**

 **You... already know about all that, but even being able to begin my own projects was difficult without any personal freedom.**

 **I established the rule that Celadon Gym Trainers should be women, because I hoped for young women to be able to come to my Gym or myself for solace and guidance - and also because I wanted to prove to my family that I was a responsible and reliable role-model in my independence.**

 **You may not remember this, but I used to be followed everywhere by family maids and servants. I scarcely had room to breathe, act or think independently. In fact it's because of this that so many people saw me as a 'princess'. My Gym Leader title, 'The Nature-Loving Princess', came from my family's urgency to have an overprotective entourage shadowing me at all times.**

 **I could not shake this chafing security until I promised my family that I could be responsible and 'ladylike' enough without them.**

 **I spent most of my home-schooled years striving desperately for independence by tirelessly practising my public persona. That's where the uh... that's where the fan comes from. A fail-safe mask to prevent me from showing any signs of faltering demeanour in public or social situations. I had to be proper, you know? It helped me to feel secure and in control.**

 **I never really did feel truly free or independent though.. once I had escaped from my family's surveillance I was instead trapped by the way my own personality had developed. I drew a strict line for myself, valuing responsibility and reliability over things like emotional connections.**

 **So I made myself reliable to other Gym Leaders and my Gym Trainers, I encouraged healthy networking and social activities, but scarcely let myself really open up or cause them any inconveniences. I seem close to Jasmine and she is a wonderful girl, but I wouldn't say we truly are close.**

 **I thought I had mostly gotten over you at this point but I didn't develop lasting feelings for anyone else either, maybe because of my distant 'perfection' act or my fear of my real self being too dull or improper for anyone to like.**

 **That's one of the reasons I was so thrown for a loop when you re-entered my life.**

 **You reminded me of how simple things felt at school, and the sheer power of your Pokémon was awe-inspiring. While I was able to maintain my composure around you at first, your power and coolness factor had grown considerably since school and it became really, really hard for me to keep you out of my head again.**

 **It made me think that I really missed seeing you, and at first I was overjoyed that you were visiting me! For a while, you being near me was the most emotionally satisfying thing I had experienced since my family congratulated me for my progress on running the Gym. Finally actually having conversations with you... I'll never forget how happy that made me feel.'**

"Mm! Me too!" Sabrina nodded happily. "I still remember how even though I didn't say much at first, you would still talk passionately to me about Grass Pokémon or plants you loved and I always did love to hear you talking about nature. Did you ever get a Bulbasaur?"

I blinked for a moment as I remembered telling Sabrina that Bulbasaur was my favourite Pokémon "I can't believe you remember that!" and I giggled.

"But no, no I didn't... and you know, I think my favourite Pokémon species is Victreebel now anyway. I have such a strong attachment to mine, I've been with her since she was a little Bellsprout, she's really like the backbone of my party and my career as a Trainer." I beamed proudly at Victreebel, who was basking in the dimming sunlight.

"What about you? Is your favourite still Alakazam?"

Sabrina giggled back and scratched her face a little. "Y-yeah..." she grinned "But maybe saying that is cheating... my Alakazam has been one of my most trustworthy and insightful friends and companions for years now."

I nodded at her warmly, taking another deep breath to try and keep composed before continuing.

"I think it was because being around you and talking to you more made me so happy.. that I eventually worried I could lose sight of what I was supposed to be, or could lose everything I had worked so hard for.

Being near you was making it really difficult to keep up my perfection act, because you made me feel inappropriate things like attraction and frustration. During work-hours nonetheless! You made me laugh, and I hate my laugh. It's so..."

"Your laugh is adorable!" Sabrina pouted, staring at me. I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to stop my face from heating up again. "Your laugh is my favourite laugh on Earth. I'm smitten with your laugh and I'm always a little disappointed when you try to hide it..."

Ahh, too late, my head felt like it was about to explode again. I can't believe my girlfriend loves my dumb annoying snorty laughter. What the hell...

She fiddled with my hand and smiled awkwardly. "A-and I uh... because I know it's coming, I want to apologise for handling my jealousy and clinginess so badly back then.

For reasons I didn't even understand, I couldn't stand the possibility that you were closer to one of your Gym Trainers than me, even though they were such wonderful people and I barely knew you."

I gave her hand a little squeeze back and heaved anxiously. "I-I know... but I enabled it at first because your possessiveness over me actually made me feel really good. I shouldn't have, I know... before we knew it, things escalated in a really unhealthy way."

We both kind of frowned at each other for a few moments, our hands becoming clammy, but we didn't want to let go of one another anyway.

The mood was becoming heavier. With difficulty, I made myself continue.

 **'You can probably put things together for yourself by this point, but basically yeah. I became increasingly self-conscious about how you coming to the Gym was making me look, publically.**

 **I was too scared to be honest to you about this, I didn't want you to leave so I told white-lies and half-truths to try and distance us from each other... but that was childish.**

 **I should have told you my issues and priorities about my public persona outright, but I refused to place that much trust in you, right up until today. I-instead, things just escalated until...'**

Then I stopped. I couldn't keep going.

The words got caught in my throat. I bit my lip, hard, again as I struggled to put into words what happened next.

"I hate that stupid old man." Sabrina rolled her eyes and pouted again, trying to lighten the mood a little. "We both exploded... I literally exploded, and you... had had enough."

Sabrina's attempt at humour went right over my head though. Instead, my head was rapidly reminded about the disgusting mistakes I had made. The ones I had been trying to ignore for years.

"D-don't say that about yourself... please..." I mumbled, my lips quivering again as I could only remember how I shouted at her when she caused the Gym windows to shatter. "I'll... be ashamed of how I treated you that day for the rest of my life. You wanted help and comfort but I just pushed you away.

At first I just wanted you to take a step back, b-but you..." my eyes started watering again "y-you left. You left for good, I scared you away from me." I choked the words as they left my throat and I held my sleeves to my eyes, dabbing the building tears. I breathed in sharply.

She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Why would she try to make excuses for me anyway? She was the one I hurt so much! All I did was hurt her, and I refused to take responsibility for that!

"The days and weeks following I thought, surely she'll come back. But you didn't. Of course you didn't after what I did.

I didn't want to call you, I was too proud. Or maybe I was too scared of what you'd say. I was being a stupid, irresponsible and cruel child. Once again, I spent many nights crying as I realised that I had forfeit the right to even try being your friend, let alone confessing my feelings to you."

Sabrina gently put her hand on mine and gazed at me lovingly, but I pulled my hand back reactively. I felt the shame well up inside me, not wanting to desecrate her with my revolting and unworthy touch.

"I don't d-deserve you... I've done nothing to deserve you... Even after we reconnected, I just pretended like the past didn't even happen. I brushed that day under the rug like I do all my other problems. I kept up this facade and dragged you along for almost two years pretending that everything was okay!"

I breathed in sharply again as tears trailed from my eyes. I clutched my knee under the table and rubbed my face in my kimono sleeve with my other arm. I couldn't even look at her.

I thought I was supposed to be a good, caring and nurturing person, but everything I had done to her from back then to now suddenly fell into perspective. All I could think was how could she ever be able to truly trust me.

"A-and today I did the same thing again. H-huh." I laughed meekly in between sobs "Even though I'm supposed to be an adult now, we're supposed to have grown, I treated one of your most personal issues so carelessly and with such resentment instead of trying to understand you or giving you any way to understand me b-back...!"

"E-Erika... it's okay..."

"It's _not_! I mistreated you time and time again and you still treated me with such undeserved k-kindness and adoration all this time...!? S-Sabrina I- _I_..."

I clenched my fist and bit my lip until it bled as tears streamed down my cheeks. Words no longer worked, I was increasingly only able to coax out pathetic sobs and squeaks. It felt like I was barely able to get air to my lungs in between my exhausted choked breaths. I covered my face in my hands and keeled over the table. Crying escalated into wailing over my arms as regret washed over me and I mourned for the love of my life I was convinced I deserved to lose.

Why did I ever think talking about it would help? All it had done was make me realise that I had repeatedly been ungrateful and unreasonable and secretive to the loneliest and most beautiful friend I've ever had, just because I was so scared about how the world perceived me. Just because I felt like I had to make up for my dullness, my lack of freedom, my urge to have people rely on me, by being some fake 'perfect' person.

But.. I guess it was an important realisation. Maybe I wouldn't make this mistake again, if I were ever lucky enough to become this close to someone else again.

Just as I was convincing myself that I would be alone again, I felt warm arms wrap around me from behind and lift me off the table. I felt her lips on my hair.

She squeezed me with assurance, but my mind rejected her company and continued to bawl.

I turned towards her and tried to push her away so I could return to solitude, gently balling my fists against her shoulders though terrified to cause her more pain than I had. But she held on to me. She refused to let go.

I ran out of strength and collapsed into her embrace, my tear-soaked face staining her shoulder and chest.

"It's okay... I love you."

 _'It's not_ ' I wanted to shout, but I couldn't. Or maybe I didn't want to. Maybe I wanted to hold her while I still could.

I gripped her clothes like my life depended on it, and I screamed.

Years of clinging to a strong facade in spite of the piled up responsibilities, stresses and regrets bubbled up and exploded from my head like ugly weeds onto the only person I had ever met who still saw me through them.

"I love you, Erika." She repeated, she stroked my hair and grasped me in her strong, protective arms. I finally allowed myself to sink into her embrace, partially through exhaustion, partially because I never wanted her to leave again.

And I... believed her. I was so tired of not believing her.

Now that she had me and I had her, all I could think about was that I was a fool to take her for granted, when I may never meet anyone else who accepted and loved the real me like this. She didn't even really need to say anything. Her feelings were conveyed through her actions.

The me I had trapped behind a mask for so long was finally given the space to cry my soul out into someone I had always seen as a kindred spirit, and she cried back into me. She held all of me with such passion and care, even the ugly imperfections and flaws.

Somehow, I began to feel like she understood me. Something clicked, and I felt like I understood her more than I ever had before, too.

What a fulfilling feeling it was.

* * *

"Drink something." I pleaded Erika, pouring her a fresh cup of tea and setting aside a glass of water for her just in case she needed it. "I thought _I_ could cry a lot, but you surprised me."

Erika giggled meekly and wiped a few remaining tears from her red eyes. "I've always been a crier, actually... I cried a lot every time you left my life in the past. I'm a naturally emotional person, so bottling up all the time like I do is really bad for me..."

We were sat on the Gym's grass lawn now, as holding my crying girlfriend over a table and chairs was a little awkward. In my panic I had found a spare kimono to cover both of us like a blanket. I apologised for misusing it like that, but Erika thought it was cute.

Erika took a few swigs of tea and sighed. I held her free hand tightly under the kimono and rubbed her palm with my thumb reassuringly.

"I think I know the answer already, but what made you decide to contact me again after all that time?" I asked Erika as I leaned into her warmth.

"The Champion." she grinned.

"Yeah." I nodded and smiled gently. "That's what I thought."

The Champion had inspired both of us. Despite their young age, something about the way they battled and communicated with their Pokémon made us both feel like we weren't living our best lives.

Erika calling me back then caught me by surprise and even scared me a little, but once I battled The Champion my hesitance to see her vanished. I knew that I had to, I had to start really living.

"I love you. I love you Sabrina." Erika chimed, leaning her head on my shoulder and sighing deeply into me. She was smiling, her expression was light and relieved.

Red and tear-dampened face or not, she had never appeared more beautiful to me than she was right now.

I think it was because finally, after all these years, I knew who Erika was.

"I love you too, Erika." I turned to kiss her cheek and lean my head against hers'.

"That's not fair, you said 'I love you' twice while I was crying so I had to say it twice just now to make up for that." she pouted.

"It's a good thing there's no one else around to see how unbearably mushy you're being right now." I smirked, burying my nose in her cheek.

"Ahh whatever. Anyway, I love you. If you're not quick you'll miss your last chance to dump me."

"Enough!" I laughed "It's not going to happen, I'm more glad than ever that you're my girlfriend so you're stuck with me, hopefully forever."

"Hopefully." she quickly flung her arms around me under the blanket and gave me a possessive squeeze.

A few moments later, she yawned. Then I yawned.

What an exhausting day, it felt like it had been days or even weeks. Probably because things had been building up to this for so long.

But I was smitten. I could scarcely comprehend how much I loved her and how loved I felt. I felt so light and confident about my feelings for the first time, like we had both done so much growing up in just one day.

"Hey, Erika?" I looked at the ground, poking my fingers together meekly.

"Yeah babe." she responded lazily, seeming like she was going to fall asleep on me.

"If you want to be free... I think you should move out of Celadon City. Move in with me, in Saffron."

As I expected, Erika pouted, falling quiet into thought.

"I know better than anyone how much Celadon means to you and you know I would be more than happy to move to Celadon instead... but..."

"Yeah." I felt her nod gently against my head. "I know what you mean. Maybe living in my passion project hasn't been healthy for me.

I don't know. I'll think about it."

"That's a good answer." I grinned. "No matter how we go about it though, I'm looking forward to living with you."

Erika beamed back. She dotingly raised her hand to stroke my face, staring into my soul and my heart with perhaps the brightest and warmest glow her eyes had ever blessed me with.

"Me too, I absolutely can't wait."

* * *

 _ **x**_

* * *

 _ **(Final Notes: I hope the changes in perspective weren't too confusing!**_

 ** _T_T_**

 ** _Ahh wow. Whenever I re-read this I'm reminded of how attached I am to these two and how indulgent this was to work on. I definitely got emotional writing this chapter, I got to revisit a lot of major points of the story from Erika's PoV which was so so so fun to write._**

 ** _For now, this story is finished. I know I originally intended to go until Gen2, but I think I'm going to make that a sequel story instead._** ** _This is a wonderful place to end it, but I really love writing these two and am looking forward to starting the sequel maybe later this year._**

 ** _If you read this far, I can't thank you enough. I hope you'll join me again for more of these two!)_**

 _What's Next:_

 ** _(From next week on, I'll be uploading the Touhou fanfic I've been working on lately. It's about Yukari and it's very angsty. Look forward to it!)_**


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